# Weird situation: would you have stayed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369 "2011-09-23T19:19:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/121 "2011-09-24T20:07:58Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > I’m not sure that staying would have helped anything, since there was nothing you could do. But why didn’t you call 911? If her arm was actually swelling, like you said, that requires emergency help. > > Add me as another who REALLY disliked peanuthead’s rape joke. My ethical system, which basically comes down to the Sermon on the Mount minus the magic bits, would have required me to stay. It’s too easy for me to imagine things happening to the woman if she were alone. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/122 "2011-09-24T20:17:09Z")
As for the woman losing it, I’d have considered that making it more of an emergency, not less. Someone physically trapped and not rational is in more danger that someone just physically trapped. I’d have called the police emergency number (if they treat it as a nonemergency, their call). Out of self-interest (failure to render assistance being a criminal offence in Germany) I’d have phoned, then stayed at the scene; also out of self-preservation (dealing with an irrational woman) I’d have done my damnedest to get another person, female if at all possible, to arrive at the scene ASAP and wait with me, as a witness. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/123 "2011-09-24T20:34:17Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I would have called 911 as she asked and I would have gone back inside and waited until they came. > > The rape jokes made me feel uncomfortable and grossed out. Jokes about anything can be funny in the right context. This is not the right context. ---
**Author:** ![drillrod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@drillrod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drillrod)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/124 "2011-09-24T21:02:18Z")
I would have called it in as an emergency and then tried to calm her down. I wouldn’t have left her in that situation, regardless of her attitude. At the worst, it’s an extra hour out of my day to help a person in need (even if she is a raving bitch). I’ve put up with worse, and less-deserved, verbal abuse. Y’all got some thin skins. ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/125 "2011-09-24T21:06:21Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Reading the OP, I’m really surprised by everyone’s reactions. > > The woman was probably already freaked out and scared by the time the OP even showed up. SHe didn’t ask for the OP to solve her problem or offer suggestions. She asked him to call the cops. Yet the OP persisted in giving her alternative solutions that she did not ask for and did not want. Not surprisingly she got more and more agitated, being helpless to solve her own problem and having someone pointedly not do the thing she was asking for. Most people assume that asking to call the cops means call 911. So when the OP came back and told her he didn’t call 911 but the non-emergency number, for what she obviously thought was an emergency, she got even more upset. > > Was she gracious, appreciative or even polite? Of course not. However, if I was in that position and all I wanted was someone to call the cops because I was freaked out and scared and someone kept saying “How about this? How about that? How about this idea?” and when they finally conceded to do what I asked they called the non-emergency number I would have lost it too. And then to leave her in a self described rural area… that’s not cool. You’re trying to make it sound as though her shitty attitude came as a result of the OP’s actions, that’s completely untrue, she called him an idiot and worse before he ever suggested anything. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/126 "2011-09-24T21:12:23Z")
> [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](#): > > She had her arm trapped, she could have been hurt/in pain, and everyone here thinks she should just be left alone because she’s yelling? No allowances made for fear and adrenaline? > > Damn, that’s cold. I’m not talking about abandoning her on an ice floe for polar bears to eat. However, someone in need of aid who is ALSO so verbally abusive may not have pins in all the door hinges. I don’t doubt she was in pain. Probably scared witless. However, her verbal abuse is not helpful to her situation. I’ve been afraid and full of adrenaline too, at times, and I’ve been hurt lots worse than just having my arm stuck, but somehow I’ve managed to avoid lashing out at people trying to help me. As I said, I’d double back in an hour to make sure the cops showed up, but other than that - no, I’m not really inclined to help someone freaking out and becoming abusive. Now, if her arm was turning purple and black, or bleeding profusely, or it was in sub-freezing weather that’s a different story, as the situation is much more urgent than described but as presented in the OP the lady might have been sorely inconvenienced but she wasn’t really in mortal danger. ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/127 "2011-09-24T21:19:55Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Now, if her arm was turning purple and black, or bleeding profusely, or it was in sub-freezing weather that’s a different story, as the situation is much more urgent than described but as presented in the OP the lady might have been sorely inconvenienced but she wasn’t really in mortal danger. I’m one of the ‘to hell with her’ people, but I’ll totally agree with this. If the situation was bad enough I’d have broken another window, and then rolled down the one she was stuck in, no matter how rude she was. But the OP’s situation wasn’t like that, and outside of a life or limb situation I’m just not going to tolerate that kind of rudeness. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/128 "2011-09-24T21:20:39Z")
I just can’t imagine myself turning my back on someone who was clearly in pain and distress and leaving them alone there. Yeah, I know she was being verbally abusive. Don’t care. She could have been screaming at me “Get the fuck away from me and let me die here, motherfucker!” and I’d still wait for the cops to show up before making tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/129 "2011-09-24T21:21:05Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Now, if her arm was turning purple and black, or bleeding profusely, or it was in sub-freezing weather that’s a different story, as the situation is much more urgent than described but as presented in the OP the lady might have been sorely inconvenienced but she wasn’t really in mortal danger. He mentioned that it was starting to swell, although he didn’t say how bad. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/130 "2011-09-24T21:21:18Z")
> [@Terraplane](#): > > You’re trying to make it sound as though her shitty attitude came as a result of the OP’s actions, that’s completely untrue, she called him an idiot and worse before he ever suggested anything. I said that his actions could have contributed to the escalation of the situation and that her intial reaction could easily be driven from panic. Who knows how long she had been screaming for help? Her initial behavior could be explained by her panic or a generally nasty disposition. But, after she initially yelled at him he had simply stepped aside and called the cops, as she asked (swore at him, yelled at him) he would have suffered no more abuse. Good chance she would have calmed down within a few minutes if turned around and said- “911 is on the way”. If not, he could have removed himself and suffered nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/131 "2011-09-24T21:23:24Z")
> [@Terraplane](#): > > I’m one of the ‘to hell with her’ people, but I’ll totally agree with this. If the situation was bad enough I’d have broken another window, and then rolled down the one she was stuck in, no matter how rude she was. But the OP’s situation wasn’t like that, and outside of a life or limb situation I’m just not going to tolerate that kind of rudeness. I’m far from a medical expert, so I wouldn’t try to guess how serious her condition might be. I would know that she was stuck and that bad things could happen and that I could help. That’s all it takes. I don’t have to like her to help her. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/132 "2011-09-24T21:45:14Z")
Upon the first interaction I would have said “OK you’ve made a great first impression. I’m going to go back inside and come out again and we’ll try this again.” Then I’d go back inside call the police and walk back out. If she was still being a raging bitch, I’d wait inside till the police arrived. No need to put up with her abuse but I wouldn’t abandon a crazy person at my place of employment, what if she gets loose! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lovely\_Margo\_Lane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@The\_Lovely\_Margo\_Lane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lovely_Margo_Lane)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/133 "2011-09-24T22:03:39Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I don’t have to like her to help her. Well said. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/134 "2011-09-24T22:14:28Z")
I’m in disbelief that it seems the majority of people in this thread would abandon her. I am disappointed in y’all. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/135 "2011-09-24T22:31:14Z")
I understand people can lose it under stressfull situations but she sounds like a real bitch. If it was myself I’d be so happy to see someone come to my aid. I don’t know if I would of stayed honestly if I had to putt up with that level of abuse. If I did leave I definitely would of told her why since she wasn’t in any danger just her dumb ass arm caught in the door. Good thing you didn’t break the window she sounds like the type of person who would take you to small claims court to get you to pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lovely\_Margo\_Lane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@The\_Lovely\_Margo\_Lane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lovely_Margo_Lane)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/136 "2011-09-24T23:05:41Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > I’m in disbelief that it seems the majority of people in this thread would abandon her. I am disappointed in y’all. I swear I’ve never done anything like this before, but this thread really hit a nerve I guess. I was curious, as several have made similar comments, so I just went through and tabulated the responses up through and including yours. (I put you in the “stay” column btw) So I only categorized by the narrow question of whether the poster would stay with **TrappedJerkWoman** until other help arrived or leave her alone. I also counted those with no clear opinion, those who had a conditional response or suggested taking physical action to free her, and those just making jokes or responding to jokes. \*\* Go/fully agree with the op’s course of action:\*\* 22 \*\* Stay with her til help arrives\*\* _this doesn’t differentiate between those staying to help and those staying to cover their asses in case of vandalism/defamation 37 \*\* Other_\* 28 No, I won’t post the lists, you can look for yourselves, plus I may have miscategorized a few jokes as serious responses or (god forbid) vice versa. But I do think it’s interesting that only a clear minority would certainly leave her, and nice to keep in mind before condemning all of humanity as heartless bastards. Also, as one of the bleeding heart suckers who would stay, I would like to again say that I don’t think this makes the op a bad person, and I’m sure there are circumstances that he would handle better than I. We all have ethical, practical, emotional and physical strengths and weaknesses, and hopefully we balance each other out enough to keep society rolling. Also hopefully **TrappedJerkWoman** is ok. > [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Definitely, I would have stayed. Just to see how long it took the car to eat the rest of her. By the way, as I brought up the jokes I didn’t like, I should shine the spotlight on this one that I did. Laughed out loud, I did… ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/137 "2011-09-24T23:08:23Z")
I would have called 911 and stayed. Not just to make sure she was okay, but also because I’m selfish like that. Lemme explain. 1. Calling 911 would have ensured that help would come as soon as possible. That’s good for her and good for me, because it means less time I have to inconvenience myself. Since this is a rural community, I can’t help but think the cops aren’t so inundated with other emergencies that having them come out and help would have been inappropriate. 2. Staying would have prevented me from having to worrying about her ass all night. It sounds like the OP did exactly that (at least enough to wonder if he was still going to find her standing there in the morning). If that’s not proof that he made the wrong decision, I don’t know what is. The other day I walking in DC and a homeless guy with alcohol fumes coming off his breath politely stopped me, told me he had bad chest pains, and could I call 911 for him? We were blocks away from GW hospital and to my eye, he didn’t seem so messed up that he couldn’t walk himself over there. He was clearly drunk too; maybe this was some ploy for sympathy so I would I give him money? But I called 911 and stayed with him under the ambulance arrived, even though after a few minutes of waiting, he told me I should leave. Why did I do what I did? Well, I felt it wasn’t really my place to decide if he wasn’t truly having an emergency or not. It was his chest, not mine. And since I made the decide to treat him as though he was having an emergency, it made absolutely no sense for me to leave him. Not in a world where ambulances get lost or plain don’t show up. I’m glad I stayed until the ambulance came too. If I hadn’t, I’d forever be worried about him, and who needs that shit? ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/138 "2011-09-24T23:17:13Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > I’m in disbelief that it seems the majority of people in this thread would abandon her. I am disappointed in y’all. I believe there was only a single respondant in this thread who suggested abandoning her. Everyone else who said they wouldn’t stick around specificially stated they had called for help first. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/139 "2011-09-24T23:24:12Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I understand people can lose it under stressfull situations but she sounds like a real bitch. > > If it was myself I’d be so happy to see someone come to my aid. > > I don’t know if I would of stayed honestly if I had to putt up with that level of abuse. If I did leave I definitely would of told her why since she wasn’t in any danger just her dumb ass arm caught in the door. > > Good thing you didn’t break the window she sounds like the type of person who would take you to small claims court to get you to pay for it. Depending on where he lives, he’d probably be covered under the [Good Samaritan law](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Samaritan_law). ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369/140 "2011-09-24T23:25:51Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I believe there was only a single respondant in this thread who suggested abandoning her. Everyone else who said they wouldn’t stick around specificially stated they had called for help first. In this scenario, I consider not staying until help actually arrives as abandonment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-situation-would-you-have-stayed/597369.md?page=8)