# Weird things my mother would say **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 9, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747 "2026-11-09T22:48:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/1 "2026-11-09T22:48:42Z")
If a child complained about having to do some mindless chore: “At least you’re not out on the street stealing hubcaps.” A variation of idle hands/devil’s workshop; apparently the devil needs a supply of hubcaps. After a good deed or task for which no financial compensation is coming; “You’ll get your reward in heaven.” To someone who is late with no explanation: “I thought you’d been kidnapped by gypsies.” with apologies to the Roma people. To someone who turns down an offer of food: “Mais fica” (Portuguese, pronounced mazh feeka. Literally “more stays”; figuratively “fine; leaves more for me.” Very useful. I’ve never heard anyone else’s mom use any of these; please share. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2026, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/2 "2026-11-09T23:00:42Z")
I think both of my parents were fond of this one, regarding the requirement of doing chores instead of watching TV: “you’re not a guest in this house.” Meaning, as I always took it, that we were a family and all responsible for the success of the enterprise; no freeloading, commensurate with age and ability. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/3 "2026-11-10T00:53:37Z")
I think I invented one. When my kids were young, the girl asked me to open a bottle of olives. I didn’t think she’d given it much effort, so I said, “Pretend you’re in the desert. Your plane has just crashed. You pull your bloody body from the wreckage, pile the debris into a makeshift shelter, and find a container of water. But! There is no food. After three days, you begin to feel yourself weakening. If you can just hold on, help will come! Then, you find a bottle of olives. Will you live, or…” and then we stared at her until she gave it her best shot, and pop! Opened the bottle. Now any time we come up against trouble, someone says, "Pretend you’re in the desert. " ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/4 "2026-11-10T01:00:32Z")
Me: I got nothing to do. Mom: Spit in your shoe and give it to you. ---
**Author:** ![Cwturner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Cwturner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cwturner)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/5 "2026-11-10T01:12:08Z")
Nothing to do? Go to the barn and feel warm eggs (dad) Delaying your chores? Quit your fiddly-darting Not eating all your food? But there are starving kids in China (a bit after the famine) CW ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/6 "2026-11-10T01:23:58Z")
I was just thinking about this yesterday. If you burped, my mom would say, “If it’s a piano bring it up sidewards.”. I have never heard anyone else use that expression. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/7 "2026-11-10T01:28:35Z")
The only one that comes to mind was “So help me Hannah!” It was usually uttered along with my first, middle and last name in the same breath. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/8 "2026-11-10T01:40:42Z")
> [@Cwturner](#): > > Not eating all your food? But there are starving kids in China “Oh, you cook for them, too?” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/9 "2026-11-10T01:45:29Z")
> [@Cwturner](#): > > But there are starving kids in China Send this to them. (I only got to use that line once) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/10 "2026-11-10T02:01:49Z")
I bet many (most?) of us have heard or read of the expression “That’s a horse of a different color.” Meaning that _this_ situation or thing isn’t comparable to _that_ other situation or thing. It’s archaic now, but when we were all little it was something our parents’ generation knew and used. Anyhow, for whatever wacky reason my mom had her own custom version of that expression. To her it was “That’s a horse of a different garage.” Huh? I never got the impression she was just being silly for us kids or thought she was mangling it as a joke to the other grown-ups. She always delivered the line deadpan. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/11 "2026-11-10T02:07:58Z")
My Mom always called it Aspere_grass_. Drove me fuckin’ crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/12 "2026-11-10T02:13:51Z")
When my father wanted one of us to go away, he would say: “Run around the corner and see if its raining.” I don’t think anyone else ever used that expression. If you sneezed once, my mother would say gesundheit. A second sneeze would elicit: Zu leben (to live). On the third: Zu wachsen (to grow). But the fourth would get you: Zu quellen (to be joyfull). I am not sure this last is actual German or just Yiddish. In my household, we’ve a fifth: Zu Shtoppen Shneezen. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/13 "2026-11-10T02:38:46Z")
Your face will freeze thst way. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/14 "2026-11-10T02:40:53Z")
Ex-husband had a weird inability to answer any sort of question. All questions beginning “where” were answered “if it was up your butt, you’d know”. (Other questions drew, “are you writing a book?” No \> go to \> end Yes \> go to \> “leave that chapter out.”) ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/15 "2026-11-10T02:45:02Z")
When the future looms unknown, my mom is fond of saying: “Bring me my Persian!” This is a line spoken by Jack Palance (as Attila the Hun) facing an uncertain threat in _Sign of the Pagan_ (1954) which my future parents saw on its first run. It was a short time later, after the closing credits, that my dad proposed. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/16 "2026-11-10T02:54:40Z")
Now that’s a cute story. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/17 "2026-11-10T03:09:59Z")
> [@Cwturner](#): > > Not eating all your food? But there are starving kids in China (a bit after the famine) Canadian radio personality Al Boliska had a great reply for the kid: “Yeah! Name two!” Korean American comedian Johnny Yune remembered his mother telling him to think of all the starving children in America who would love to have those peas. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/18 "2026-11-10T03:48:00Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Your face will freeze thst way. [![](https://scontent.fosu2-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/30414727_1355820761230037_1572501214849925120_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_tt6&cstp=mx600x190&ctp=s600x190&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=536f4a&_nc_ohc=DMKJLXiMjo0Q7kNvwHO6g-v&_nc_oc=AdpjFFz2S_wEByAtjQ0iLzDUzwdi-jZEag5kMdfPrghCOv60YadRYats7RoIt4GUoo_kS9rDvOMCCftOjp74MFg1&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent.fosu2-2.fna&_nc_gid=Dk5uox-NXDTriAQM8VsTrQ&_nc_ss=78289&oh=00_AQQ6FhxW7HGbbwXSVG2pmG7WGzudboaATKmWYUQ_EKueBg&oe=6B1A0347) ](https://scontent.fosu2-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/30414727_1355820761230037_1572501214849925120_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_tt6&cstp=mx600x190&ctp=s600x190&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=536f4a&_nc_ohc=DMKJLXiMjo0Q7kNvwHO6g-v&_nc_oc=AdpjFFz2S_wEByAtjQ0iLzDUzwdi-jZEag5kMdfPrghCOv60YadRYats7RoIt4GUoo_kS9rDvOMCCftOjp74MFg1&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent.fosu2-2.fna&_nc_gid=Dk5uox-NXDTriAQM8VsTrQ&_nc_ss=78289&oh=00_AQQ6FhxW7HGbbwXSVG2pmG7WGzudboaATKmWYUQ_EKueBg&oe=6B1A0347) ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/20 "2026-11-10T05:03:25Z")
One saying that I’ve never heard anywhere else: If I ever asked someone to get something for me, my mom would say “Do you have a piano tied to your bum?” (i.e., get it yourself). ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/21 "2026-11-10T05:41:01Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > > [@Cwturner](#): > > > > Not eating all your food? But there are starving kids in China (a bit after the famine) > > Canadian radio personality Al Boliska had a great reply for the kid: “Yeah! Name two!” > > Korean American comedian Johnny Yune remembered his mother telling him to think of all the starving children in America who would love to have those peas. My cousin once turned the table on her parents by sitting down to dinner and saying “you know, there are millions of children around the world having a much better meal than this tonight.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747.md?page=2)