# Weird things my mother would say **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 9, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747 "2026-11-09T22:48:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/62 "2026-11-10T21:05:07Z")
If I ever asked for a ride, my dad would say “I’ll give you a ride on the end of my toe!” (I think it was just a dad joke reflex because he was always happy to lend us a hand when needed.) ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/63 "2026-11-10T21:28:51Z")
> [@LavenderMagnolia](#): > > At some grocery stores, baby formula is not locked up because of poor, desperate parents who “need to steal in order to feed their child(ren)”. There are people who re-sell it online or at flea market-type places. Same goes for laundry detergent (although detergent is not always locked up) and some other household items. At the nearest grocery store, they’ve started locking up the spam. I have to assume there was a reason. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/64 "2026-11-10T21:54:56Z")
But I don’t like Spam. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/65 "2026-11-10T22:20:49Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > At the nearest grocery store, they’ve started locking up the spam. At my usual grocery store, the Spam has been locked up for years. Also the corned beef. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/66 "2026-11-10T22:27:41Z")
When me or my siblings would ever mention dating issues involving 2 people. “Should I ask X to the dance, or should I ask Y?” Her advice was always "Choose the second option. If the first person was “THE ONE”, then there wouldn’t be a second choice. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/67 "2026-11-10T22:48:17Z")
Mom: Thunder overhead is “the angels moving furniture.” Dad: “I used to complain about not having any shoes. Until I met a man without any feet.” (When I grew up and studied Persian, I had fun pointing out to him that the expression came from a 13th-century Sufi text, the _Gulistan_ (Rose Garden) by Sa‘di. The same guy Sadi Carnot was named after.) > I never complained at the vicissitudes of fortune, nor murmured at the ordinances of Heaven, excepting once, when my feet were bare, and I had not the means of procuring myself shoes. I entered the great mosque at Cufah with a heavy heart when I beheld a man who had no feet. I offered up praise and thanksgiving to God for his bounty, and bore with patience the want of shoes. _Gulistan_, chapter 3, tale 19 ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/68 "2026-11-10T22:56:54Z")
If I hurt myself: “too far from your heart to die!” Apparently the heart is the only vital organ… (And since other family members have been mentioned, if you said something to my uncle and he didn’t hear you clearly he’d respond with “kiss what?”) ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/69 "2026-11-10T23:30:51Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > if you said something to my uncle and he didn’t hear you clearly he’d respond with “kiss what?” Oh I am so stealing this ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/70 "2026-11-10T23:47:39Z")
My father used to dismiss a person who was a phony braggart as, “he’s a movie”. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/71 "2026-11-10T23:49:09Z")
Definitely some weird stuff here I’ve never heard. They sound like colorful characters. ---
**Author:** ![peccavi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peccavi/32/388_2.png) [@peccavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peccavi)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/72 "2026-11-10T23:52:33Z")
The one I remember still is from one of my “grandfathers” (at one point I had 5, only 2 of which were biological). When I was akid, I would ask "Whatcha doin?’ ", he would always reply “Making rats, want to put the tails on?” I have no idea where that came from. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/73 "2026-11-10T23:54:08Z")
That’s adorable. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/74 "2026-11-11T00:39:40Z")
while eating a less than stellar lunch, my dad once uttered with an ever so slightly resigated tone, in a low voice to himself: “_This damn brat(wurst) has more wrinkles than my foreskin_” * * * Or if help/assistance was needed/warranteed, but we kids did just sit around and were oblivious to the situation: _Sitz ned da wi a stingats g’söchts_ (that might even be a stretch for the german speakers ) Sitz nicht herum wie ein stinkendes geselchtes (fleisch) - don’t just sit there like spoilt/ gone off meat ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/75 "2026-11-11T00:48:40Z")
When my mom would hear someone who wasn’t speaking clearly, she’d say “you talk like a sausage”. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/76 "2026-11-11T01:29:00Z")
If we’re including dads, mine used to call his farts _barking spiders_ ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/77 "2026-11-11T01:47:03Z")
How about husbands/spouses? My Hubster will say after a umm, eventful bathroom visit: “I should’a brought a baseball bat … I sh#t a bobcat.” Both of those choices always seemed so specific to me. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/78 "2026-11-11T01:53:22Z")
When I hesitated with food my mom would say, Eat it, it’ll put hair on your chest. ---
**Author:** ![theater\_in\_a\_crowded\_fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@theater\_in\_a\_crowded\_fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theater_in_a_crowded_fire)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/79 "2026-11-11T02:02:03Z")
My mom had a ton of them, but one of my favorites was when she’d describe someone who thought a bit too much of themselves. “If I could buy them for what they’re worth and sell them for what they think they’re worth”. Sums it up pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/80 "2026-11-11T02:12:23Z")
Speaking of weird things people say, that’s an _awesome_ username! ---
**Author:** ![allenv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@allenv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/allenv)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747/81 "2026-11-11T02:23:45Z")
One of my Dad’s; too soon old, too late smart. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weird-things-my-mother-would-say/1034747.md?page=5)