# Weirddave **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221 "2003-05-09T23:03:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/41 "2003-05-10T13:01:39Z")
Hey - I’m not saying that Phelps is a great guy and I’m going to invite him to my next BBQ. The man is appaling. That being said, I still wouldn’t wish a slow, painful cancer death on anyone. If he were to lie down tomorrow and never wake up, I think that would be fine. However, the suffering caused by cancer is not reserved for the patient - it spreads out to the whole family. Somewhere there is a person to whom Fred Phelps is not a disgusting monster - he’s just Uncle Fred. Or dad. Or husband. Or son. Or whatever. I have trouble wishing suffering on these people, who, from all acounts have already suffered enough because of this man. Go to sleep. Don’t wake up. No fuss. No muss. No bother. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/42 "2003-05-10T13:31:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > **So. Hate me, insult me, cross me off your guest list over this, I don’t care. Some things are beyond my capacity as a caring human being to forgive. Fred better hope God is more forgiving, I am not.** **Weirddave** , I’ve disagreed with you in the past, and you must know that you aren’t my favourite poster by a long shot. But FWIW, after this thread, I’d actually be more likely to _add_ you to the guest list. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/43 "2003-05-10T14:34:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\ ***Weirddave** , I’ve disagreed with you in the past, and you must know that you aren’t my favourite poster by a long shot. > > But FWIW, after this thread, I’d actually be more likely to _add_ you to the guest list. \*\* w00t! I’m bringin’ the beer! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/44 "2003-05-10T14:53:42Z")
Bring your own beer? Nah, the local stuff here is much better. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/45 "2003-05-10T15:49:27Z")
I am very, very sensitive to frivolous Hitler comparisons. I hate it when people call someone who gave them a parking ticket or something a Nazi. It infuriates me. Got it? Comparing Phelps to Hitler is just fine with me. Both of those men were/are sick, twisted, evil shits with nothing redeeming so far as I know. Hitler just had more success. Both of them deserve(d) death by torture. I don’t advocate vigilante justice by any stretch but it would be nice if he had to suffer even one tenth of the suffering that he’s caused. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/46 "2003-05-10T16:06:53Z")
Is it OK to wish for Fred Phelps to suffer from painful rectal itching? What about head lice? Broken collarbone? Where do you draw the line? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/47 "2003-05-10T18:16:17Z")
I for one believe that Adolf Hitler and Fred Phelps are the same. The difference between them, the _only_ difference between them, is the amount of power society was willing to grant the two. Hitler was able to become dictator of Germany. He killed tens of millions of people. Phelps was able to become minister of a church. He pickets funerals. Had the roles been reversed, the results would have still been the same. They’re cut from the same cloth. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/48 "2003-05-10T18:53:56Z")
I for one do not want Fred Phelps to die a slow and painful death. I want it to be quick and immediate. The sooner that fucker ends up in Hell, the sooner the _real_ suffering can begin. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/49 "2003-05-10T19:25:38Z")
To those saying Phelps and Hitler are different, think of it this way: If Phelps had Hitler’s power, how many deaths would he cause? Although I agree with those who say “I don’t wish cancer on Phelps, but I won’t be sad when he’s gone.” Am I the only one who thinks it would be ironic if it turned out he was suffering from AIDS? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/50 "2003-05-10T19:29:31Z")
Oh, and Weirddave, yes, godhatesfags still has the “memorial” to Matt Shepard you described. It even has a .wav file that shouts “AUGHHHHH! FOR GODS SAKES, LISTEN TO PHELPS!” If anyone wants to see it, it’s at [http://www.godhatesfags.com/memorial.html](http://www.godhatesfags.com/memorial.html) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/51 "2003-05-10T22:47:41Z")
> [@](#): > > I for one do not want Fred Phelps to die a slow and painful death. I want it to be quick and immediate. Which means we’re back to the piano idea. Who’s with me?!? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/52 "2003-05-11T01:18:50Z")
**SPOOFE** , I think a piano would be fine. A large safe would probably have almost equal comedic value, minus the musicality. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/53 "2003-05-11T01:53:39Z")
Unless it was a safe filled with violins. But I understand it’s in bad taste to wish violins on people. ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/54 "2003-05-11T02:06:56Z")
Would it be ok for me to hope he chokes to death on a used condom? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/55 "2003-05-11T06:31:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Unless it was a safe filled with violins. > > But I understand it’s in bad taste to wish violins on people. \*\* Since Fred’s bugaboo is whom people are sleeping with, sax would be more ironically correct. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/56 "2003-05-11T07:44:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*Since Fred’s bugaboo is whom people are sleeping with, sax would be more ironically correct. \*\* Wishing sax on Fred? Doesn’t that come under the category of a ‘Cruel and Unusual Punishment’? I reckon a slow and painful cancerous demise is more charitable than Death-by-Sax **Weird**. But YMMV of course. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Reuben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Reuben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reuben)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/57 "2003-05-11T17:13:01Z")
Having just looked at the [godhatesfags.com](http://godhatesfags.com) page linked earlier in this thread, I appreciate this guy Phelps has a lot to learn about Christian compassion - not to mention basic decency - but wishing a slow and painful death on him seems intrinsically wrong. I’m a regular bastard by the advertised standards of our enlightened age, but it’s a bit much even for me. It reeks of hypocrasy in a “Death To Intolerance!” kind of way. Unless Phelps _himself_ is killing and torturing people, I’ll settle for ignoring him and wishing he’d go away. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/58 "2003-05-11T18:06:51Z")
FWIW, my father is currently dying of pancreatic cancer. So, yes, I know how horrible/painful/drawn out it is. With that said… Phelps. Cancer. I hope he’s got it. I hope it hurts. I hope that repulsive pustule dies alone and in pain and terrified. Just the way Matt Shepard did. I know this doesn’t make me charitable or forgiving or merciful. I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/59 "2003-05-11T19:40:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kambuckta \* > \*\*Doesn’t that come under the category of a ‘Cruel and Unusual Punishment’? \*\* It’s only cruel if iKenny G is playing the sax. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Green\_Feather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@The\_Green\_Feather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Green_Feather)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221/60 "2003-05-11T20:07:14Z")
I’m wishing permanent laryngitis on him. Wouldn’t it be fun to see him trying to protest? Walking around, flailing his arms, but no sound. And everyone around him saying, “What? What are you saying? Talk to me Fred! What are you trying to say? WHAT IS YOUR MESSGAGE!?!” Forever… Silent… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirddave/174221.md?page=4)