# Weirdest Books You Own **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 7, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654 "2004-04-07T00:24:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/1 "2004-04-07T00:24:40Z")
Not the most valuable or the ones you like the most . . . But the ones that make friends perusing your bookshelf go, “What the f . . . ?!” **Chastity, or Our Secret Sins** , an 1874 anti-masturbation diatribe. **Hot Girls of Weimer Berlin** and **Voluptuous Panic** , two compilations of pre-Nazi German porn (recommended to me by **Ukelele Ike** , and the sources for my last two New Years cards). **Le Petomane** , a 1967 biography of the famous fartiste. **Suicide in the Entertainment Industry** , a comprehensive encyclopedia of same, from William L. Abingdon to Stephen Zoltai, and great night-table reading. ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/2 "2004-04-07T00:27:04Z")
I just ordered **Eats, Shoots and Leaves: A Zero Tolerance Approach To Punctuation**. I’ve been looking forward to it being released for over a month. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/3 "2004-04-07T00:29:30Z")
John Willie’s Bizarre by Taschen. it has pics from the 1940’s fetish mag Bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/4 "2004-04-07T00:29:38Z")
**An Illustrated Guide to Romanian Painted Churches** - 50p from a charity shop ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/5 "2004-04-07T01:05:58Z")
I’ve got a copy of the New Testament written entirely in Scots dialect. Always fun at parties. I’ve got an over-sized, leather bound book of the collected poems of Rudyard Kipling that’s got a pair of giant swastikas on the binding. It was published in, I think, 1908. Similarly, although not a book, I’ve got a poster dated 1949 for the traditional Easter celebrations in the Spanish town of Sevilla, which happens to involve costumes that look a hell of a lot like KKK robes. The poster is beautiful, but looks suspiciously like a cross-burning if you’re not down with obscure cultural Catholic traditions. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/6 "2004-04-07T01:07:46Z")
Oh, and I’ve also got a copy of Le Petomane’s biography. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/7 "2004-04-07T01:40:41Z")
While I don’t think it’s weird at all, it has made most of my friends look puzzled. A newly acquired 1971 revised edition of “Our Bodies, Ourselves.” Lucky me, it was given to me by a friend going thru her recently deceased mother’s belongings. She hadn’t a clue what it was, she just put all books aside in a pile for me. I remember hearing about this book and stuff by Nancy Friday and Marilyn French and countless others I can’t remember, and thinking that I’d have to be sure to read them when I grew up as they certainly seemed to be ticking off everyone I knew! ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/8 "2004-04-07T01:51:40Z")
The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead by Timothy Leary. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/9 "2004-04-07T01:54:49Z")
**Codex Seraphinianus** Also, several boat building books from the era before fibreglass. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/10 "2004-04-07T01:59:29Z")
**The 120 Days of Sodom and Other Writings** and **Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings** by De Sade raises an eyebrow or two. They were for school! I swear! ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/11 "2004-04-07T02:09:43Z")
Weirdly enough, while I don’t have the full out **Bizarre** book, I have a Taschen book of Bizarre postcards. I have a boxed set of Exotique though which is another magazine about fetishes. It’s 3 volumes. Why do I own this? I look at it once in a while. On top of that I had a 1970s **Our Bodies Ourselves** up until a few weeks ago. I bought it at Goodwill a few years ago and finally got tired of it last year and put it in a box with a bunch of other books that went to Salvation Army eventually. I like to buy stuff from one and then take it to the other. The only really weird stuff left… Okay why do I have a reader’s guide to Bridget Jones’ Diary? Why does one exist? I dunno but I have it. I’m sure it helped me figure out the harder parts. That’s probably the weirdest. I have some Xena novelizations! I found them at a bargain book sale once and thought I should save and cherish them so I did. I’ve never seen them anywhere else. Not that weird And the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. I just keep that around because it looks humourous between the Mrs. Piggle Wiggles and Laura Ingalls Wilder on the top shelf. It’s actually a very stupid book and not as good as it sounds. It takes about 140 pages to say what basically amounts to “don’t overdo it.” Ooh on preview I see another one I’ve got. I have **Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom & Other Writings** too. I bought it when I was in highschool because I couldn’t believe it was there at the bookstore for me to buy. Too bad reading it left me confused and sort of tired. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/12 "2004-04-07T02:11:54Z")
**The Three Christs of Ypsilanti** by Milton Rokeach It’s a case history of three schizophrenics on the same ward at the state mental hosptial in Ypsilanti, Michigan, back in the early 60s. Each guy thinks he’s Christ. Hilarity does not exactly ensue. ---
**Author:** ![toque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9e8a1a/32.png) [@toque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toque)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/13 "2004-04-07T02:12:27Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > John Willie’s Bizarre by Taschen. > > it has pics from the 1940’s fetish mag Bizarre. That’s such a cool book. Mine would definitely be **The Book of Mormon** , I mean, have you actually _read_ it? ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/14 "2004-04-07T02:16:39Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > **Suicide in the Entertainment Industry** , a comprehensive encyclopedia of same, from William L. Abingdon to Stephen Zoltai, and great night-table reading. Yoink. “Usually ships in 7-8 days.” That sounds really good. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/15 "2004-04-07T02:46:19Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > **Hot Girls of Weimer Berlin** and **Voluptuous Panic** , two compilations of pre-Nazi German porn. Who _doesn’t_ have these 😉 . Actually, I haven’t gotten around to getting hold of “Hot Girls” yet. [Feralhouse](http://www.feralhouse.com/) is a great source of oddball stuff \*\*\*\*\* That link is probably best not viewed in front of your kids \*\*\*\*\* For books that I own, I have a great copy of “Ukranian Cuisine” from 1975. Lots of cabbage is involved. Alas, Amazon let me down on [Baby Jesus Butt Plug](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0972959823/qid=1081305517/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-9721490-0059360?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) so I can’t claim to own it. I’ll stick with [Electric Jesus Corpse](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971357285/qid=1081305754/sr=2-3/ref=sr_2_3/102-9721490-0059360) > [@](#): > > The twisted and surreal version of the story of Jesus Christ set in a bizarre version of modern day Earth that has been ravaged by war and cannibal zombie plagues, where the landscape is slowly mutating into meat and human flesh is transforming into machine. The novel follows Christ’s twelve apostles. However, in this world the apostles are pimps, necrophiliacs, skinheads, and other assorted freaks. I hope that makes things clear In overall terms of oddness, my personal winner is [this book](http://uk.geocities.com/cleanskies/bible/ntestament.htm) which I was sort of involved in the production of. A very odd portion of my life. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/16 "2004-04-07T03:23:54Z")
My collection is pretty normal. My grandfather, on the other hand, has had different crazes throughout his life, and he keeps his books around. At different times he’s been obsessed with the JFK assassination, apolcalyptic cults, various artists, the Templars, and many others. One of my favorite finds is a book called _The Messiah Conspiracy_, by Charlton Heston. Yes, _that_ Charlton Heston. I’ve only read a small portion, but the gist appears to be that every rabbi who has lived for the past 2000 years is part of a massive conspiracy to cover up the truth about Jesus Christ. At amazon, the publisher describes it thusly: > [@](#): > > We devote several chapters to uncovering a plot, a conspiracy by Jewish leaders to cover up the biblically verified fact that Jesus was the Jewish Messiah. This was accomplished by their reinterpretation of the Messaianic prophecies, to the sorrow of many, then and now. We are the first to examine this conspiracy in such depth. It’s 1400 pages, very small text on very large pages. The footnoting is probably the most anal-retentive I’ve ever seen. It’s just frightening that people take such stuff seriously. Amazon, by the way, says that if I like this book I’ll probably also like books by Ann Coulter. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/17 "2004-04-07T03:40:09Z")
Oh boy, have I got some doozies. Howzabout a Chechen-English phrasebook? A Russian-Uzbek-Farsi phrasebook? Or perhaps you would prefer a book of animal legends of the indigenous peoples of far eastern Siberia? No? How about a book of a couple hundred recipes for _plov,_ a traditional Uzbek lamb and rice dish? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/18 "2004-04-07T04:06:14Z")
Oh geeze, where to start? I’ve got _Principia Discordia_, _The Poor Man’s James Bond_, _The Anarchist’s Cookbook_ (it sucks, BTW, all you wouldbe Unabombers should save your money on this one) _Disruptive Terrorism_, a **classified** Army Corps of Engineers manual from the 1950s, _Naked Lunch_, _Coup de Etat_, _The Two Babylons or The Papal Worship Proved to be the Worship of Nimrod and His Wife_, _Wilhelm Reich in Hell_, _The Free-Energy Handbook_, _Nikola Tesla’s Earthquake Machine_, _Three Fisted Tales of “Bob”_, and that’s just off the top of my head! Of course, by mentioning some of these titles I’ve no doubt put myself on the FBI’s watch list. It’s okay, guys! I’ve **no** intention of moving to Montana and sending out mail bombs demanding we give up technology! Just send me an army of nekkid Hooters chicks, is all I ask. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/19 "2004-04-07T04:15:12Z")
“Gourmet Cannabis Cookery: The High Art of Marijuana Cuisine” I’ve never actually used it, just thought it would make a fine edition to my library. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654/20 "2004-04-07T04:17:46Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > “Gourmet Cannabis Cookery: The High Art of Marijuana Cuisine” > > I’ve never actually used it, just thought it would make a fine edition to my library. ADDition, I might even say. Maybe I actually made the Sunday Pot Roast for dinner tonight and forgot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-books-you-own/238654.md?page=2)