# Weirdest names you've ever heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747 "2020-07-19T12:05:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2020, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/101 "2020-07-21T22:15:46Z")
Another one: At the time that I met him, my BFF was in an LDR with a woman named Melena. In this case, it was pronounced mel-EE-na; the medical term is pronounced mel-uh-nuh. I’m surprised the OB nurses, who should have known, didn’t try to talk her parents into at least changing the spelling. They broke up not long afterwards (no big surprise) but he heard later through the grapevine that she was working as a medical transcriptionist. Of course, he never told her, but she knows now what that name also means. 😲 p.s. Might help if I posted a definition. If you have this, call 911. > **[Melaena - Causes - Diagnoses - Management - TeachMeSurgery](https://teachmesurgery.com/general/presentations/melena/)** > > Melaena refers to a black tarry stool, which occurs as a result of upper gastrointestinal bleeding. Only 50mL of blood is needed to turn the stool black (a by-product of digested haemoglobin). ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2020, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/102 "2020-07-21T22:49:05Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > Thirty-odd years ago, there was (and may still be) a large sign visible from the autobahn near Stuttgart. It was a heart-shaped logo with ASS written on it. It looked a lot like the logo on some playing cards I bought there and indeed there is a company with that acronym that makes them. Yes, there’s a company named ASS manufacturing playing cards. It makes sense, because “ass” means “ace” in German. There’s also the common last name “Assmann”, though I don’t know the etymology of that name. . ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2020, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/103 "2020-07-21T23:19:59Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > There’s also the common last name “Assmann”, though I don’t know the etymology of that name. . I’ll never look at that Seinfeld episode the same way again… ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2020, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/104 "2020-07-21T23:21:48Z")
I guess it was Ernst Stavro Bloefeld (or perhaps Willard White) who claimed them as dependents? ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2020, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/105 "2020-07-21T23:49:51Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Plausible, I suppose. I mentioned, above, the Everybodytalksabout clan, which I found listed in a Blackfoot genealogy on-line. I’d expect a name like Stands At The Door there too. Well, I didn’t find that, but there a Rides At The Door clan, and Rides At Door, and Rides Behind and Rides In The Middle clans. I recall coming across Stands-at-the-Door as a name a couple of times when I worked in the Social Insurance Registration office here in Canada. It may be a Cree or Athabaskan/Dene name. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/106 "2020-07-22T00:04:40Z")
My cousin’s dentists were: Dr. Gordon Payne (for the kids), and Dr. Karen Pepper (for the adults). (you don’t usually use the first names when referring to them). A family surnamed “Fuchs” moved near us - they were recent immigrants from Europe. Within a couple of months, they had changed their name to “Fewkes”. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/107 "2020-07-22T00:08:32Z")
No, some people from Africa, with what we’d consider typical african names. They said they wanted to give their kids American names since they were moving here. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/108 "2020-07-22T00:13:49Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > I recall coming across Stands-at-the-Door as a name a couple of times when I worked in the Social Insurance Registration office here in Canada. It may be a Cree or Athabaskan/Dene name (Original poster here) What my friend and I found humorous was the juxtaposition of the first name Myron with the last name Stands-At-The-Door. Like a mash-up of cultures. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/109 "2020-07-22T00:29:47Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > There’s also the common last name “Assmann”, though I don’t know the etymology of that name. . Also spelled “Assman”. There’s a Dave Assman and a Dick Assman and several other Assman relations in Saskatchewan (and no doubt in many other places). [Dick Assman was made famous by David Letterman](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/melville-man-saskatchewan-government-insurance-assman-license-plate-1.5008302), spawning a brief “Assmania” craze, while Dave Assman became semi-famous because the Saskatchewan government refused to issue him a personalized license plate reading “ASSMAN”. [He came up with a brilliant solution.](https://globalnews.ca/news/4958154/assman-licence-plate/)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/110 "2020-07-22T00:34:47Z")
I swear on the grave of my father that when I was a growing up there were a couple of brothers named Genghis and Kublai Cohen. ---
**Author:** ![I.Dunno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9f8e36/32.png) [@I.Dunno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.Dunno)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/111 "2020-07-22T00:39:01Z")
When I was a rookie maintenance mechanic in the '70s, I was sent to assist the elevator mechanic one morning on a call from one of the freight elevators. I will never forget the elevator operator’s first name because my partner greeted him with “Hello Darling”. By the way, my highly regarded ophthalmologist’s last name is Blinder. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/112 "2020-07-22T00:43:33Z")
> [@I.Dunno](#): > > By the way, my highly regarded ophthalmologist’s last name is Blinder. Lol! Some profession choices are just pre-ordained. (I have a good friend with that surname.) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/113 "2020-07-22T00:46:28Z")
> [@I.Dunno](#): > > By the way, my highly regarded ophthalmologist’s last name is Blinder I did _not_ see that coming. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/114 "2020-07-22T01:17:30Z")
I used to work at a call center, fielding calls for a large cellular carrier. I collected unusual and funny names. I moved awhile back and lost the list, but I can remember a few. These are names that passed a credit check, so no nicknames. - Huck Finn - Virginia Hamm - Nippy Toe Jackson Bummer that I can’t remember more. I had a whole sheet, front and back. I disqualified most names that seemed to be a cultural thing, unless they were really unusual or a mouthful. I had a co-worker that I told about the list, and she had one for me - her own. The name I knew her by was common for a woman - Lynn or something - but her real first name was Omega, and she went by her middle name. They names her, “Omega Lynn.” Her older sister’s first name was Alpha. So, they were the alpha and the omega. I went to high school with a guy who’s last name was, “Louse”, and he kinda was, but he pronounced it “Lowse” ---
**Author:** ![I.Dunno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9f8e36/32.png) [@I.Dunno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.Dunno)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/115 "2020-07-22T01:20:42Z")
I see what you did there… I was very lucky to get this doctor. I went to the ER several years ago with what I was afraid was a torn retina. (Problem turned out to be a common thing for people getting older, something to do with the gel in the eyeball liquifying or some such, and was something I had never heard of up to then.) Anyway, the ER doc told me a very good eye specialist was around the corner and would squeeze me in. And he said, “now, don’t be put off by his name…” ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_was_in_Saudi)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/116 "2020-07-22T13:45:19Z")
I keep a list in my notebook. When the page is full, I post the list elsewhere. Since you asked, here it is: **T J Duckle** spokesman for the Biden campaign **June September April** called into an NPR game show **Husband E Kimmel** Admiral of the US Navy was in command at Pearl Harbor **Charles Horatio McMorris** of the US Navy. Everyone called him **Soc** for Socrates **Brigadier Kevin Admiral** of the US Armor Center **Luke Easter** played for the Red Wings **Chris Leather** of the RCMP **Issac Campbell Kidd** Commander of the USS _Arizona_ The **Mumbles Railway Act of 1804** **George Francis Train** was important in the development of street trams. **Amanda Baltimore** played in a Jeopardy! teachers’ tournament **Brenda Lucki** of the RCMP **Robert Thunder** of the Minneapolis police **Mario Crow Ghost** lives in Bullhead SD **Will Humble** works in public health in Arizona **Sage Green** lives in Buffalo New York **Bree Newsome Boss** enjoys climbing flagpoles **Trip Harrison** works in county government in Mississippi **Vince Champion** of the International Brotherhood of Police **Sally Buzbee** executive editor of the Associated Press’ **Phil, Plourd, Bliming & Associates** is a big cheese in the US cheese trade **Jonty Bravery** is a horrible person. Do not Google him. **Amen Brown** lives in Philadelphia **Osmund Somers Cleverly** is on my list **Lovely A Warren** is mayor of Rochester New York **Filemon Vela** is a congressman from Texas **Dr Ker Otter** works at the Univiersity of British Columbia **Gary Gunlock** may be a pen name. Still, I like it. **Dan Froomkin** is a media critic ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/117 "2020-07-22T13:51:52Z")
I don’t think anyone has yet mentioned the pioneering figure from the Industrial Revolution, **Isambard Kingdom Brunel** , which I maintain is the most badass name in the history of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/118 "2020-07-22T13:59:25Z")
Not bad: it reminds me of the title that British monarchs have as sovereigns over the Isle of Man. The splendid title is Lord of Mann. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/119 "2020-07-22T14:06:14Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I had a HS classmate named Kelly Green. That’s the name of the guy who owns the pot store around the corner. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2020, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747/120 "2020-07-22T15:50:25Z")
My son’s car got hit by another driver and her first name was Honey Bee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-names-youve-ever-heard/915747.md?page=7)