# Weirdest relationships in comc books **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 28, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015 "2015-10-28T21:05:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/21 "2015-10-29T08:46:56Z")
Ms Marvel and … was it Marcus/Immortus? Where he fathers himself on her, and she spends time mind-controlled in his interdimensional [del]rape den[/del] lovenest while he pulls his Super-PUA moves on her. And everyone in The avengers is just peachy about it. ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/22 "2015-10-29T13:22:26Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > I think the X-men have some weird relationships. > Particularly the Cyclops/Jean Grey/Maddie Pryor/Cable/Nate Grey relationship is reaaaallly weird. And then throw Emma Frost into the mix. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/23 "2015-10-29T13:30:59Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Batman and Talia al Ghul is a sad, twisted, forlorn love affair. She even had his child, but they can never be together. > > Batman and the various Robins. He let one go, another died, and he adopts yet another. If he’d adopted Dick Grayson, things might have been a lot healthier. Clearly any relationship that psychotic is in will be weird. Batman belongs behind bars, his mind was warped and twisted by the murder of his parents when he was a child. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/24 "2015-10-29T13:50:21Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Than again Scarlet Witch, her android husband, and the twins which may or may not have existed (depending on when was the comic you grab printed), may or may not have been the product of demonic posession, may or may not have been a virginal birth, are surpassed only by how calmly the rest of the Avengers took the news of her pregnancy. > [@MrDibble](#): > > Ms Marvel and … was it Marcus/Immortus? Where he fathers himself on her, and she spends time mind-controlled in his interdimensional [del]rape den[/del] lovenest while he pulls his Super-PUA moves on her. And everyone in The avengers is just peachy about it. I’m starting to wonder what the hell does Jarvis put in the water… the amount of things The Avengers have swallowed without batting an eyelash is pretty amazing. Another relationship from Hell: any involving Charles F. Messiah. Stuff such as having sex with his students/patients (including Gabrielle Haller, who he’d just telepathically awakened from a coma she’d entered as a tween) almost manages to make his penchant for telepathically pushing around the families of anybody he wants as a student seem… nah. No. It doesn’t. Cain isn’t either the nicest or the brightest guy on the block, but how pissed off would any of us be at a telepathic non-sibling who 1. was considered by our dad (not his dad) as the end-all and be-all of sons (at least in the version in which Cain’s father married Xavier’s widowed mother and both families were involved in an eugenics program), 2. used his telepathic powers to get us in trouble (it’s got to be the ultimate “I didn’t touch him!”) 3. and left us buried under a ton of rocks, which we wouldn’t have survived at all if it wasn’t for some fancy ruby? 4. repeatedly? ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/25 "2015-10-29T14:47:03Z")
Preacher - Odin Quincannon and his meat, and his Nazi dominatrix secretary. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/26 "2015-10-29T14:51:14Z")
[Victor and Nora Fries](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nora_Fries). ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/27 "2015-10-29T15:54:37Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > [Here’s that story.](http://www.superman-through-the-ages.com/tales2/mon-el/1/?page=0) Quintessential Silver Age absurdity 🙂 I especially like how Superboy cuts class in the middle of a test for no reason other to see if the story of Cinderella actually happened; comes across a skinnydipping brunette whose lunch has just been stolen by an eagle; and expresses no interest whatsoever in seeing her naughty bits. [Combined with his first meeting with Ultra Boy, I am forced to question Supey’s heterosexuality.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/42/Superboy98.jpg/220px-Superboy98.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/28 "2015-10-29T16:03:08Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I will start with Mon-El and Superboy from the Legion of Super-Heroes. And that’s just the Silver Age version. After the Crisis on Infinite Earths, the new canon was that Superman hadn’t fully gained his powers until young adulthood, so he was never Superboy. So they retconned by- ah, it’s too f\*\*\*d up even to recount here. But Hawkman’s shredded continuity is indescribably worse. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/29 "2015-10-29T16:34:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I especially like how Superboy cuts class in the middle of a test for no reason other to see if the story of Cinderella actually happened; comes across a skinnydipping brunette whose lunch has just been stolen by an eagle; and expresses no interest whatsoever in seeing her naughty bits. X-ray vision. He’s got naughty bits on tap. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/30 "2015-10-29T16:55:02Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > You left out Havok (with whom Maddie has been known to bump uglies as well, and who for those not paying attention is Cyke’s brother) and little test-tube-brother Gambit. Not that adding the rest of the possible-family (Corsair, Polaris, Polaris’ not-really-your-daddy Mags) makes things any less eye-crossing. Lemme tell you: if I was a superhero(ine) and anybody with the lastname Summers made eyes at me, I’d suddently develop stellar-range teleportation. > > Than again Scarlet Witch, her android husband, and the twins which may or may not have existed (depending on when was the comic you grab printed), may or may not have been the product of demonic posession, may or may not have been a virginal birth, are surpassed only by how calmly the rest of the Avengers took the news of her pregnancy. Gambit isn’t a Summer’s brother (unless that’s a real recent retcon in the last year), the third Summers brother is Vulcan who ended up killing their dad and taking over the Shi’Ar empire. Polaris is actually the only confirmed child of Magneto right now since they for some reason decided to make Pietro and Wanda not his kids in the main universe because… movies? The Scarlet Witch pregnancy is only weird because later writers\* made the Vision a robot manwhile he was consistently shown to just be a synthetic human before-- he had a penis and working internal organs. She used magic to help him produce sperm, which in the realm of their day to day, isn’t that weird. - (especially John Byrne who referred to him as a “toaster” when fans got mad that he essentially killed the character) I’m glad someone mentioned this–Crystal’s affair with Norm the real estate guy in the Vision and the Scarlet Witch series is weird in the big picture but really fit with the soap opera/sitcom style that book had… damn that was a good book. One issue dealt with Magneto being invited over for Thanksgiving dinner and the Avengers having to deal with eating across the table from someone who they saw as a villain (even though he was technically reformed at that point). ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/31 "2015-10-29T17:11:15Z")
Reed Richards and pretty much everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/32 "2015-10-29T18:41:17Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > X-ray vision. He’s got naughty bits on tap. Any normal 15-year-old was gonna stop to look at the hot naked chick in the water. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/33 "2015-10-29T18:43:21Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > And that’s just the Silver Age version. After the Crisis on Infinite Earths, the new canon was that Superman hadn’t fully gained his powers until young adulthood, so he was never Superboy. So they retconned by- ah, it’s too f\*\*\*d up even to recount here. > > But Hawkman’s shredded continuity is indescribably worse. No I got this. We recounted pre-Crisis Supes and Monel already. After COIE, Superboy never existed. But then who would the LSH look towards as their inspiration? Turns out Superboy did exist! The Time Trapper (Who is really Cosmic Boy unless he isnt) took a sliver of Pre-Crisis universe and created a pocket universe of only Earth and Krypton.) THAT was the reality the LSH visited whenever they time travelled. Then Superboy died and they made a statue of him. Then he never existed again and they made Monel (now called Valor) the inspiration. Then “Five Years Later” happened…and now IM getting confused…but I know at End of an Era Superboy showed up briefly which was very cool except half the Legion said who is this guy and half said SUPERBOY!! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/34 "2015-10-29T18:47:56Z")
Who is not, of course, to be confused with Superboy Prime. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/35 "2015-10-29T18:48:47Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Who is not, of course, to be confused with Superboy Prime. Superboy Prime is Dick and Jane compared to that mess above. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/36 "2015-10-29T18:50:36Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Who is not, of course, to be confused with Superboy Prime. I’m pretty sure I’ve warned you before that, if ever you mentioned that buttwipe again, you’d be getting a visit from a hotpants-clad Mary Ann Summers-model slapbot who would hit you in the face with a coconut cream pie. It’s like you WANT me to hurt you. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/37 "2015-10-29T18:52:36Z")
The original Batman and Robin relationship was pretty damned weird. I would have liked to have been present at the guardianship hearing: \*So let me get this straight, Mr Wayne: You plan on taking this boy, dressing him up in a costume you once sewed for yourself, and then exposing him to grave danger by cruising around Gotham City all night in search of violent criminals to whom you intend to mete out vigilante justice? That’s correct, Your Honor. Custody granted, next case!\* :dubious: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/38 "2015-10-29T18:56:51Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > A hotpants-clad Mary Ann Summers-model slapbot who would hit you in the face with a coconut cream pie. Can I find one of these on Craig’s List? :o ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/39 "2015-10-29T19:19:33Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Can I find one of these on Craig’s List? :o Of course you can’t buy coconut cream pies on CraigsList, but I’m pretty sure there’s any number of bakeries that can hook you up. Google it. What? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015/40 "2015-10-29T19:37:29Z")
I have to throw out a link for [_Waiting for the Trade_](http://waitingforthet.tumblr.com/) in this thread, which is a treasure trove of really awkward relationship vignettes between superheros. [Jewish Grandfather Magneto](http://waitingforthet.tumblr.com/image/105257933315) is one of my favorite recurring characters. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-relationships-in-comc-books/736015.md?page=3)