# Weirdest Top 10 Singles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 9, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190 "2008-10-09T17:25:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/101 "2008-10-16T03:43:44Z")
If we can count UK top ten, and I don’t know if these are weird, but are certainly embarrassing: [Convoy GB](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-FZZ7ye7h8) [Grandad](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEwlnByCJoM&feature=related) [Two Little Boys](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uw26DHIs4o4&feature=related) [No one quite like grandma](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bXCTeVN0S4&feature=related). This will really set your teeth on edge - and it was number 1 for 2 weeks. Already mentioned: [Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLKaLvrtn-8) I can’t find a good original of the [Floral Dance](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2Z6wUTmpvg&feature=related), but [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElnCI1fkfFM) is truly horrible. And let’s not forget [Captain Beaky](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMzaiCS1jrM&feature=related). The embarrassing thing about this is that I try persuade my American wife that all good music comes out of the UK. Maybe all the bad stuff does too. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/102 "2008-10-16T04:20:50Z")
Lyrically, I think that **Short People** by Randy Newman deserves a mention in this thread. It went to #2(!) in 1977, only stopped from reaching #1 by that wonderful song \*You Light Up My Life. \* ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/103 "2008-10-16T16:41:33Z")
Cone to think of it, the Beatles had a number of “weird” songs, but once again, I don’t know how high they charted. I’m thinking of “Rocky Racoon”, “I Am the Walrus”, and of course “Yellow Submarine”. There are probably more. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/104 "2008-10-16T16:45:30Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > “Shut uppa your face” a bit of a fad song, but very popular at one time. Does anybody else even remember it? This was going to be my entry. It was a silly novelty song that spiked for a week or two. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/105 "2008-10-16T16:55:18Z")
Also notable because it stopped Vienna by Ultravox from reaching the no 1 slot, in the UK at least. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/106 "2008-10-17T13:27:47Z")
The correct answer hasn’t been mentioned yet. The weirdest ever top 10 single was **The Cuban Boys** - ‘_Cognoscenti vs Intelligentsia_’, which was a #4 UK hit in Christmas week of 1999. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/vAE74L0bsCE/hqdefault.jpg "Cuban Boys - Cognoscenti Vs Intelligentsia on TOTP 1999") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAE74L0bsCE) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/107 "2008-10-17T13:45:48Z")
One of the weirdest (or most nauseating, depending on your tolerance for Aussie quaintness) has to be Rolf Harris’ _Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport_, which hit Billboard’s #3 in 1963, and featured the line “Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred”. Also, though it wasn’t Top Ten material, my vote for weirdest Top 20 single of all time is _Eighteen With A Bullet_ by Pete Wingfield, sung in a loopy falsetto, and which peaked at (naturally) #18 on the charts: \*I’m eighteen with a bullet Got my finger on the trigger, I’m gonna pull it I’m picked to click now I’m a son-of-a-gun So hold it right there little girl, little girl We’re gonna have big fun\* ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/108 "2008-10-17T15:04:33Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > _Tiptoe Through the Tulips_ by Tiny Tim That’s the song I was going to mention, even though it only made it up to # 17. The weirdest song that hasn’t been mentioned yet has to be Elva Miller’s (known as “Mrs. Miller”) cover of _Downtown_. Picture a 60-ish woman who sounds like Ethel Merman on a bad day, accompanying herself on the zither. She only peaked at #82, but, hey, it was what some consider the Golden Age of Rock, so you gotta give her due props. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/109 "2008-10-17T17:48:43Z")
Serious blast from the past (circa 1930s) here, but this thread isn’t complete without a mention of [The Hut-Sut Song](http://www.archive.org/details/soundie_1). Favorite mention: TV animated adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ _Horton Hears a Who_ (or conceivably the other Horton?) has the elephant singing it. Hut Sut brawn sind on the rinerah, and a braw, and so on so forth… [aside to the camera: “I can’t remember the words!”] ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/110 "2008-10-17T17:55:45Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > …Elva Miller’s (known as “Mrs. Miller”) cover of _Downtown_. Picture a 60-ish woman who sounds like Ethel Merman on a bad day,… Ethel Merman has been dead for 24 years and she still hasn’t had a day that bad. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/111 "2008-10-17T17:57:43Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > One of the weirdest (or most nauseating, depending on your tolerance for Aussie quaintness) has to be Rolf Harris’ _Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport_, which hit Billboard’s #3 in 1963, and featured the line “Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred”. > > - Tan me hide when I’m dead. So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde And that’s it hanging on the shed.’ You’re right. It is nauseating… A very odd #1 was Lorne Green’s [Ringo](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/l/lornegreenlyrics/ringolyrics.html). Green just talked to very quiet background music. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/112 "2008-10-17T18:24:56Z")
Jimmy Dean’s “Big John” was a spoken recording, just like Lorne Green’s “Ringo” ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/113 "2008-10-17T23:05:51Z")
> [@well\_he\_s\_back](#): > > Wasn’t there also a Japanese song, possibly titled “Sakura”, that charted in the US? _Sukiyaki_. Actually titled _I Look Up When I Walk_, the name was changed to something Japanese-sounding that had nothing to do with the song for American release, a move _Newsweek_ joked was equivalent of renaming _Moon River_ “Beef Stew.” > [@AHunter3](#): > > Serious blast from the past (circa 1930s) here, but this thread isn’t complete without a mention of The Hut-Sut Song. > > Favorite mention: TV animated adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who (or conceivably the other Horton?) has the elephant singing it. Actualy, Horton sings this tune in Bob Clampett’s Looney Tune adaptation from the 1940s (one of the few times Warners actually licensed somebody else’s work, and surprisingly faithful while still having that typical Warner style.) > [@Jackmannii](#): > > One of the weirdest (or most nauseating, depending on your tolerance for Aussie quaintness) has to be Rolf Harris’ Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport, which hit Billboard’s #3 in 1963, and featured the line “Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred”. As well as the now-politically incorrect (and later removed) line, “Let me Abos go loose, Bruce.” ---
**Author:** ![clnilsen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecccb3/32.png) [@clnilsen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clnilsen)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/114 "2008-10-19T00:38:46Z")
How about [Pac-Man Fever](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pac-Man_Fever_(album)), #9 in 1982? I still like this song today ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/115 "2008-10-19T01:15:04Z")
> [@well\_he\_s\_back](#): > > There’s a song I heard on regular pop radio the other day called “No Handlebars” by the Flobots. I don’t know how high it reached on the charts but I loved it and it’s definitely weird. Have you seen the video? The video’s great, the song by itself is pretty bad. ![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/AuK2A1ZqoWs/maxresdefault.jpg)https://www.youtube.com/embed/AuK2A1ZqoWs?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/116 "2008-10-19T01:41:44Z")
_Muskrat Love._ Why Muskrats? When you think about cute animals being in love, [muskrats](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat) are not something that immediately jumps to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/117 "2008-10-29T20:11:45Z")
No idea what made me think of [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE). Apparently was #1 in the UK for one week in '87. ---
**Author:** ![timbicile59](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@timbicile59](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timbicile59)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/118 "2008-11-08T00:34:30Z")
Having my baby by Paul Anka kinda creeped me out. It hit #1. ---
**Author:** ![timbicile59](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@timbicile59](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timbicile59)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/119 "2008-11-08T00:53:01Z")
Two more Playground in my mind by Clint holmes hit #2. And Transfusion by Nervous Norvus. Dont know how the latter charted but deinately odd. I don’t know how to link. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190/120 "2008-11-08T13:55:09Z")
Weird #1 Singles? “Winchester Cathedral” by the New Vaudeville Band "In the Year 2525 by Zager and Evans “Ben” by Michael Jackson (a love song for a homicidal rat) "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia by Vicki Lawrence (even in the Deep South, people don’t get put on trial, sentenced to death and hanged the night they’re arrested) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdest-top-10-singles/467190.md?page=7)