# Weirdo resumes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105 "2007-10-17T22:57:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/121 "2007-10-28T22:49:32Z")
[QUOTE=Poysyn] I worked with a filing clerk that had the alphabet written out on on a slip of paper. I asked her about it. “My cheat sheet.” she explained. That was very sad to me. [/QUOTE] Maybe she had a learning disability. I actually suggest this in my trainings as a free accommodation which would allow someone with learning issues to do a job that would otherwise be impossible for them. Why, yes, I am a buzzkill. ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/122 "2007-10-28T23:53:07Z")
[QUOTE=Ms. Pumpkin] Not a resume, but on an application. In the “previous emplyment” section, under “reason for leaving”, one applicant wrote, “got fired for stealing money out of register.” [/QUOTE] We got one a year or two ago that said: **Reason for leaving previous job:** Boss was an asshole. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/123 "2007-10-29T03:05:12Z")
[QUOTE=lorene] Maybe she had a learning disability. I actually suggest this in my trainings as a free accommodation which would allow someone with learning issues to do a job that would otherwise be impossible for them. [/QUOTE] Quiddity? Quiddity Glomfuster? Sorry, mistook you for someone, for a moment. On the theme of ‘Too much info’ in a resume: I was working at a movie theatre when the Asst. Mgr. says "Hey, on this application under reason for leaving she’s put “I was made pregnant by the restaurant manager, and his wife found out.” I said “Oh, hey I know her.” I did, I was working at that very Fish ‘n’ Chips shop at the time. She was 17. I wasn’t the Manager, BTW. I was working on the day his wife came down, confronted him, and he admitted it. I wasn’t there for the girl’s father promising to see the Manager ‘rot in jail.’ But I heard about it. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/124 "2007-10-29T03:52:24Z")
We got a resume from this guy: [http://www.dead.net/member/ericabrahamson](http://www.dead.net/member/ericabrahamson) > [@](#): > > I went from UCI to Cal State because of low grades even though I got straight A’s in Lowell High School, have an I.Q. of 159, and got B’s (High Passes) at Yale because I have a learning disability, a bad memory, possibly Alzheimer’s, I think from the chronic prostatitis I caught at age twenty-six… It just gets better from there. ---
**Author:** ![NajaNivea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NajaNivea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NajaNivea)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/125 "2007-10-30T04:52:45Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] There’s nothing standard about “old fashion”, _I hope_. As fiercefully descriptivist as I am, that one would kill me. [/QUOTE] I see it all the time, and it makes me homicidal. I too, picture pants with the waist around the armpits and natty suspenders. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/126 "2007-10-30T04:56:37Z")
> [@Eric Abrahamson](#): > > I would like to impress you with my family’s prominence. Too bad, I’m not impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_of\_the\_Felines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b5e925/32.png) [@Queen\_of\_the\_Felines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_of_the_Felines)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/127 "2007-10-30T05:58:06Z")
I once saw an amusing typo where somebody had previous experience as a “shit manager” at a local McDonald’s. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/128 "2007-10-30T06:37:57Z")
[QUOTE=Queen of the Felines] I once saw an amusing typo where somebody had previous experience as a “shit manager” at a local McDonald’s. [/QUOTE] That is funny. How could they misspell [Taco Bell](http://www.tooshocking.com/content/images/image_b6aa6ffed7b268d1e407e09f79e38c11.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/129 "2007-10-30T11:29:53Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] There’s nothing standard about “old fashion”, _I hope_. As fiercefully descriptivist as I am, that one would kill me. [/QUOTE] There’s an ice cream shop in Williamsport PA that sells “Old Fashion Ice Cream.” It always annoys me when I see it. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/130 "2007-10-30T12:33:21Z")
[QUOTE=Queen of the Felines] I once saw an amusing typo where somebody had previous experience as a “shit manager” at a local McDonald’s. [/QUOTE] My brother once wanted to steal the “C” out of an Arby’s letter board that said “Now Hiring Closers”. ---
**Author:** ![Surok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Surok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surok)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/131 "2007-10-30T12:40:03Z")
[QUOTE=Ghanima] With my most recent batch, though, my main source of amusement was how many resumes of “detail oriented” people arrived with no cover letter. When it stated in the ad that a cover letter was _required_. That’s some attention to detail you got there, kid. [/QUOTE] Out of the same box: we were advertising for editors. The ad specified ‘detail oriented’ as one of the main requirements. I estimate that at least 2/3 of the resumes we received contained typos. Including typos that would have been caught by a basic run through with a spellchecker. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/132 "2007-10-30T13:28:22Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] My brother once wanted to steal the “C” out of an Arby’s letter board that said “Now Hiring Closers”. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure I’m strong enough to resist that temptation. That’s too perfect. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/133 "2007-10-30T14:47:23Z")
The strangest resume I’ve seen was from “John Smith”. His resume looked sort of like this: 2006-2007: John Smith Landscaping Company Position: Proprietor 2005-2006: Smith’s Bait and Tackle Position: Proprietor 2004-2005: John Smith Graphic Design Co. Position: Proprietor 2003-2004: John’s Housepainting Position: Proprietor What HR really didn’t like, wasn’t so much that his ventures failed, but that they were totally unrelated and not a single one lasted more than a year. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/134 "2007-10-31T00:12:53Z")
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone] The strangest resume I’ve seen was from “John Smith”. His resume looked sort of like this: 2006-2007: John Smith Landscaping Company Position: Proprietor 2005-2006: Smith’s Bait and Tackle Position: Proprietor 2004-2005: John Smith Graphic Design Co. Position: Proprietor 2003-2004: John’s Housepainting Position: Proprietor What HR really didn’t like, wasn’t so much that his ventures failed, but that they were totally unrelated and not a single one lasted more than a year. [/QUOTE] I think the possibilities are: A. Incompetence B. Scammer C. All of the above ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/135 "2007-10-31T05:27:13Z")
[QUOTE=sturmhauke] I think the possibilities are: A. Incompetence B. Scammer C. All of the above [/QUOTE] Not to mention “D. Front businesses” which means either: E. Bad drugs F. Couldn’t cover his tracks G. Pissed someone off H. Even more incompetence or the dreaded I. All of _that_ above! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/136 "2007-11-01T00:42:47Z")
What that looks like to me is someone who can’t work for someone else, which is also a red flag. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/137 "2007-11-01T19:09:44Z")
[QUOTE=Muffin] An applicant’s cover letter stated that if we did not hire her, then she would report us to the Law Society. [/QUOTE] You’ve aroused my curiousity now,on what basis was she going to report you to the L.S.? ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/138 "2007-11-02T03:42:21Z")
sorry post was submitted twice. ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105/139 "2007-11-02T03:43:59Z")
I had a friend who applied for a job at the same place i was working at, and this place would accept 99% of the people that applied and had the qualification’s. After a week or so my friend was kinda confused as to why they hadn’t rang him back after he emailed them his resume. He went back into his email and went over the resume he sent them to make sure he hadn’t screwed something up or sent it to the wrong place and noticed he forgot to put his name and contact details. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weirdo-resumes/423105.md?page=6)