# Welcome me with open arms -- I demand it! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043 "2004-11-16T12:23:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Phantom\_Dennis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/51bf81/32.png) [@Phantom\_Dennis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phantom_Dennis)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/1 "2004-11-16T12:23:13Z")
Hello, my name is June. No, I’m not a newbie. In fact, I’ve been an on-and-off lurker since 1999. I remember the days when Wally was still alive and Scylla was writing about Evil Nazi Groundhogs. I was registered under a different name (which I will allow to die a safe, anonymous death), but I didn’t post more than 100 times in all my years as a member of the Straight Dope, and consequently, I was never very well-known. I left for a spell when the board went to paid subscriptions; to be honest, I didn’t think the scheme would work. Call me a deserter if you like, but I was very happy to find the board thriving when I stumbled on it a few weeks ago. I’ve decided to put my money where my heart is and become a charter member. I’m going to try to make it worth my $14.95 – considering my long history as a lurker, I’m probably going to have difficulty posting more than once every couple of days. It’s not that I can’t write or I don’t have anything interesting to say, it’s just that I enjoy reading much more than I enjoy writing, and I also have somewhat of posting phobia that I’m sure some of you are familiar with. During my other incarnation, I would often compose several intelligent, well-written posts a day, but I’d spend so much time editing and rewording them that I’d gradually begin to lose confidence in the thesis behind the original post – so much so that I’d rarely reach the point where I was confident enough to hit the “submit” button. Instead I would simply give up (and berate myself for wasting time writing something that nobody would ever read). What was I afraid of? Several things, I suppose. Making grammatical and spelling errors. Not sounding smart enough. Being ignored or worse – ridiculed. Saying something embarrassing that I’d regret later. In short, I was guilty of thinking too much, and I want to avoid that this time around. In recent years, life has given me some much-needed self-confidence, and I have enough faith in myself to realize that, if I have interesting ideas/observations which I feel compelled to share with other intelligent people, chances are, at least some of them will share that interest. And even if I do post something stupid or embarrassing, so what? Even the most valued posters on this board have committed such crimes on occasion. So welcome me! I will try my hardest to be a credit to this board. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/2 "2004-11-16T12:29:05Z")
Hello! and welcome! Although can I really say that? You _have_ been here longer then I have. Hey, _you_ should be welcoming _me_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/3 "2004-11-16T12:31:21Z")
Welcome… uhhh, \*back \*?? > [@](#): > > What was I afraid of? Several things, I suppose. Making grammatical and spelling errors. Not sounding smart enough. Being ignored or worse – ridiculed. Saying something embarrassing that I’d regret later. Eh… don’t worry about that. I find there’s always someone dumber than me who comes along and does far worse than I eventually. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/4 "2004-11-16T12:37:21Z")
Ahhh, another one for The Dope Side. We knew we’d getcha sooner or later 😛 . Welcome, **June**. Here’s a question: since **June** did, in fact, post under another name a few times, does she get a _second hand goat_? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/5 "2004-11-16T12:37:49Z")
[Obvious juvenile posting about your user name] **June**! How _are_ you? Love those pearls! How are Ward, Wally and The Beaver? Must dash now! See you at the PTA meeting![/Obvious juvenile posting about your user name] Well, _somebody_ had to do it! Now it’s all out of the way. Welcome, please post lots and lots. Check out the last two quotes in my sig line. See, there is at least one doper you can do better than. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/6 "2004-11-16T12:47:18Z")
Don’t worry about a low post count. As the winter trickles in like a brick to the head, you will find yourself magnetically drawn to this place. Obsessively drawn to this place. You are Keith Richards and we are The Dope. Resistence is futile. Welcome back. Shirley ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/7 "2004-11-16T14:03:06Z")
Sing out, June! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/8 "2004-11-16T14:29:34Z")
Must fight urge to imitate Steve Perry and break into song! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/9 "2004-11-16T15:57:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I was registered under a different name (which I will allow to die a safe, anonymous death) Better email **TubaDiva** post-haste. You aren’t supposed to register a second name, no matter what your intentions regarding the unused neglected first one might be. She’ll euthanize it for you. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/10 "2004-11-16T16:01:28Z")
Wouldn’t it be more welcoming to greet you with open legs? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/11 "2004-11-16T16:06:48Z")
Welcome! 🙂 Congratulations on finding Posting Confidence! I know some of the minds here can be pretty intimidating, especially in Great Debates. OTOH, this is a great place to learn about all kinds of bizarre things. Just remember though: typos may be the only thing deflecting criticism of your post’s _content_. [sub]( **Twickster**! Another one! Rev up the goats and calamari!)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/12 "2004-11-16T16:08:05Z")
> [@June](#): > > What was I afraid of? Several things, I suppose. Making grammatical and spelling errors. Not sounding smart enough. Being ignored or worse – ridiculed. Saying something embarrassing that I’d regret later. > [@RumMunkey](#): > > I find there’s always someone dumber than me who comes along and does far worse than I eventually. That would be…me. ☹ Welcome, **June**! Don’t be afraid of the [Submit Reply] key! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/13 "2004-11-16T16:13:41Z")
Hello June. Be welcome, enjoy your stay. > [@June](#): > > Hello, my name is June. > > \What was I afraid of? Several things, I suppose. Making grammatical and spelling errors. Not sounding smart enough. Being ignored or worse – ridiculed. Saying something embarrassing that I’d regret later. > \ Don’t worry about spelling errors - if you make them you can always point to my posts and say “Well, at least I’m not as bad a Khadaji!” 😃 I won’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/14 "2004-11-16T17:53:59Z")
But, but, did you bring pie??? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/15 "2004-11-16T18:01:44Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Here’s a question: since **June** did, in fact, post under another name a few times, does she get a _second hand goat_? 😃 What, you think we ever actually spring for _new_ goats? Hell, we get 'em in bulk from Happy Harry’s Used Goat 'N Hamster Emporium. Oh, and welcome, **June**! Please go to the room on the left for your…ummm…cookies…yes, that sounds plausible. Free yummy welcoming cookies… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/16 "2004-11-16T18:39:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Welcome me with open arms – I demand it! We _could_ welcome you with _fire_ arms, if you’re willing to stick your head in a cannon. Would that help? 😃😉😛 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/17 "2004-11-16T19:06:32Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Must fight urge to imitate Steve Perry and break into song! AIGHHHHHHH That song is now stuck in my head…! **Shib!** You evil, evil bastard! [size=1]but in a good way.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/18 "2004-11-16T19:16:45Z")
June, I don’t feel it’s my place to welcome you, since I’m pretty new here myself. So may I piggy back on your thread and throw myself upon the mercy of the Dopers? (Is that a mixed metaphor?) Fellow insecure poster here. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/19 "2004-11-16T19:22:16Z")
Welcome to our collective insanity, **Nordic**! :: looks at location tag :: Wow, you’re south of me! 🙂 Make sure you read the New Registrants’ Guide, have your papers ready, enjoy the cookies, and don’t worry about any tentacle marks. [sub]How many goats do we have on hand? This looks like it’s going to be one of _those_ threads…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043/20 "2004-11-16T19:58:08Z")
> [@Nordic](#): > > June, > > I don’t feel it’s my place to welcome you, since I’m pretty new here myself. So may I piggy back on your thread and throw myself upon the mercy of the Dopers? (Is that a mixed metaphor?) Fellow insecure poster here. Welcome, **Nordic**! You are officially a MAD (Mid Atlantic Doper); we have several DopeFests per year; you’ll have to come to one (no, I don’t mean “you’re welcome to come to one”, I mean you’ll _have_ to come to one; it’s required. If you don’t, we revoke your Doperhood, and no refunds, either!). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-me-with-open-arms-i-demand-it/275043.md?page=2)