# Welcome, New Teenaged Dopers! Don't make me kill you. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073 "2001-07-19T17:23:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/82 "2001-07-27T02:00:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Searching For Truth \* > **Sheesh, the hijacks were horrible this time. Note to Newbies: This happens a lot. Crunchy does this a lot, too.** ☹ I am a very bad man. \*\* > [@](#): > > _shakes head_ What medication are you on now, dude?\*\* I am currently taking super-riboandroslaxatrin duplex 12. Ya want some? It tastes kinda like chocolate-covers gummi bears. Except it isn’t chewy. Or very chocolatey for that matter either. Come to think of it they taste more like liver. Sorry about that. I always get liver and chocolate confused. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/83 "2001-07-27T02:30:07Z")
**Crunchy** , do you want to come over and talk? Seems to me like you could use a shoulder to cry on…or someone to talk to. Other than the voices in your head, that is. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/84 "2001-07-27T08:01:20Z")
Bait? Bully? What the hell are you two talking about? There’s no way you’re going to hit and run me with those. **LDG** went off the deep end after not thoroughly reading a very intelligent post by **Jester**. I saw no reason to let that railing go, so I stood up for him. How on earth you can classify that as “bait” I have no idea. And I don’t even want to guess what you mean by bullying. I suggest you back that up right now. pan ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/85 "2001-07-27T11:37:18Z")
and kids, remember the most important rule of all… **HAVE FUN!** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Dead_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/86 "2001-07-27T12:05:07Z")
Thank you kindly, **Irishman**. I don’t wanna get all soppy in the pit, lest I break some unspoken rule, but I appreciate your post - I was kind of worried I was coming off as the meltdown type, and it’s nice to know everyone didn’t take it that way. You too, **Searching** - you’re not a bad teen Doper yourself. **kabbes** : I’d say the bait **irishman** was referring to would be insinutation I was about to “follow that with a public meltdown, a promise never to return, a next-day return, multiple pit threads and a banning.” If that’s not bait, what is? ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/87 "2001-07-27T13:13:36Z")
> [@](#): > > I said this: > > But if you feel uncomfortable here then please feel free to let us all know just how horrible we are. Maybe you can follow that with a public meltdown, a promise never to return, a next-day return, multiple pit threads and a banning. **Or maybe you can stop being so silly and recognise that there’s no clique, there’s no cabal, we’re all just individuals and, really, noone is out to get you.** > > (bolding added) That isn’t bait. That’s being facetious. No, more than that - it’s an admonition. I didn’t just try to goad you into doing something you’d regret - quite the reverse in fact, I pointed out how silly it would be to act in such a fashion. It’s trying to encourage you _not_ to do something silly, although it does do so in less than saccharine-sweet terms. Frankly, anyone who considers that “bait” is in for a real hard comedown out here in the real world. pan ---
**Author:** ![FarmerOak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@FarmerOak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FarmerOak)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/88 "2001-07-27T13:29:54Z")
Allow me to parse, if I may. **Jester** got it right in the OP. If you want to get along, go along. If you want to change the world, establish some credibility first. **Jester** addressed his OP to Teenage Dopers because they are the **main** transgressors of board etiquette. If his admonitions do not apply to you, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THEM. If you losers who insist on butchering the languange, the syntax, the style and the grammar with which we have all become comfortable EVER manage to re-write the rules, then… \*\* DOPE homey! We KiN AlL tAwK lIkE yOu AnD Be MoS DeF!\*\* Until such time has come, please respect the prevailing standards of usage. I can guarantee that if you DON’T, no thinking person will respect you. And thinking persons are the ONLY ones who matter on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/89 "2001-07-27T14:46:53Z")
**Kabbes** , you make me laugh. You sound like Mr. Feeney off of _Boy Meets World_. (Did anyone else love that show? Man was that great or what?) Cranky old men are so funny. [sup][sub]I wonder if he’ll get pissed at this one! [/sub][/sub] ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/90 "2001-07-27T14:57:42Z")
Personally, I prefer the term _curmudgeon_. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/91 "2001-07-27T15:17:54Z")
I think you just got your panties in a twist. For any of new Dopers reading this, just look at **Kabbes**. This is the kind of old curmudgeons we have to put up with on the board. One day we’ll rise up against the oppressive fist of old people and stand tall, flags waving and…[sup][sub]nevermind[/sub][sup] I’m going to go lie down now. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/92 "2001-07-27T15:43:05Z")
You can’t defeat the old people. They’ll always be one step ahead of you _and be smiling as they make their next move_. It took me a very long time and too many lost bets to learn to not underestimate my dad, for instance. Anyway I’m just enjoying being referred to as a cranky old curmudgeon at the ripe old age of 24. [best old person voice] You’ll be my age one day too you know sonny Jim. pan ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/93 "2001-07-27T15:49:46Z")
_bursts into laughter_ Wow, 24, ay? _wipes away a tear_ Sorry **Kabbes**. I guess it was your wisdom and intelligence beyond your years that decieved me. I mean, who woulda knew? Hey, I’m just a youngun, right? Silly whippersnappers like me don’t know what we’re talking about half the time. (Like that only happens to teenagers. _scoff_) Must be cuz you’re British. They probably age faster, as opposed to Americans staying younge (and dumb) forever. But my name isn’t Jim. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/94 "2001-07-27T16:12:53Z")
Hmph. That’s nothing - when one person at my new work found at my age he paraded me around the office asking people how old they thought I was. Apparently he expected people to anwer “about 30”. Cheeky bastard. And I was asked if I had any kids, which is admittedly very possible but to me a very scary idea. [sports commentator] **kabbes** has wisdom beyond his years.[/sports commentator] And to nick a joke I saw on the SDMB just the other day (but I can’t remember who’s it was, so they’ll have to claim the credit themselves), I have a reading age of 28. Basically you never know on the SD - that’s what makes the place so cool. **Jester** for instance: before this thread I thought he was at _least_ my age. With no physical presence, noone actually even knows how old you are unless you choose to reveal it. And respect rests entirely on the quality of your message. I like it. pan ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/95 "2001-07-27T18:45:01Z")
I’ve had a few misconceptions about some posters, aside from age. I used to think **Speaker for the Dead** was a girl! :o I don’t anymore… I’ve confused genders for some other people too. Well, onto more important things now… [sub]::looks around for Jester so the stalking can begin:: This is all YOUR fault Searching![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/96 "2001-07-27T18:54:24Z")
I get stalkers? COOL!! I knew there was a reason I loved this board. What’s next? Groupies? Thanks, **Searching**. I guess I owe you now. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/97 "2001-07-27T19:02:23Z")
Ooh there he is! [sub]::runs over to a dark corner, binoculars in hand::[/sub] Don’t mind me, I’m just stalking **Jester** ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/98 "2001-07-27T19:10:21Z")
“We have found some teenagers! May we burn them?” ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/99 "2001-07-27T19:33:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*I get stalkers? COOL!! I knew there was a reason I loved this board. > > What’s next? Groupies? > > Thanks, **Searching**. I guess I owe you now. \*\* You sure do! Now, I have to think of something you can do to pay me back… _huge toothy grin_ I’m sure I’ll think of something. And yes, **Kabbes** , that little You-Don’t-Know-Who-I-Am thing is neat. Cept when you start flirting with Dopers thousands of years older than you and people start bitching and…nevermind. **Lady Juliet** , I am prepared to take full blame for you deciding to stalk **Jester**. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/100 "2001-07-27T20:28:57Z")
Kabbes, my apologies if I seemed to be feeding the flames. I was being slightly facetious in my own wording. Or something like that. I saw you make a comment to Living Dead Girl about how not to react, and apparently Living Dead Girl wasn’t quite taking you correctly. She, I guess, is not familiar enough with the common patterns around here to recognize why you would use the string of events you did. (Hint LDG: that happens all the friggin’ time, so it is _not_ out of the realm of possibility that you would react that way. If you were a loser. But I don’t think you’re a loser.) And also, I don’t think LDG fit the category of thinking there’s a clique and cabal and everyone’s out to get her. Anyway, I was commenting to LDG that she handled that much better than many people who see a post they perceive as an attack and get hostile in return, rather than sorting out what was actually meant. I don’t think you were intentionally trying to rile her. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073/101 "2001-07-30T09:16:07Z")
OK, cool. I had not picking up on someone being facetious in reply to my own facetiousness. It feels kinda silly. But dammit, now I want _someone_ to self-destruct. We haven’t had a good self-destruct here in ages. Unless you count **Morrison’s Lament** , apparently, but I didn’t even get to see that happen. Come on folks - one of you must be harbouring a secret loathing for us all. Speak your mind! pan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-new-teenaged-dopers-dont-make-me-kill-you/73073.md?page=6)