# Welcome our porcine overlords **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2019, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300 "2019-10-05T03:47:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/1 "2019-10-05T03:47:54Z")
Today, tools - tomorrow, the world! [https://www.google.com/amp/s/relay.nationalgeographic.com/proxy/distribution/public/amp/animals/2019/10/first-tool-use-pigs-visayan-endangered](https://www.google.com/amp/s/relay.nationalgeographic.com/proxy/distribution/public/amp/animals/2019/10/first-tool-use-pigs-visayan-endangered) Seriously though this is a cool story. Pigs using tools. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/2 "2019-10-05T03:54:19Z")
I hope those tools tools were make-up brushes. Amiright? amiright? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/3 "2019-10-05T04:54:19Z")
We already have examples of pigs eating people unfortunate enough to fall in their enclosures. Now tools. If those tools start looking like cutlery, I’m never going to eat bacon again. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/4 "2019-10-05T05:43:45Z")
Oh, shit! I’m in big trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/5 "2019-10-05T10:53:22Z")
Judging by the damage done by feral hogs around here, I’d say they’ve been using trenching tools for quite some time. If the hogs ever realize that most folks leave the keys in their tractors, we’ll have a BIG problem. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/6 "2019-10-05T12:40:08Z")
Four legs good! Two legs bad! ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/7 "2019-10-05T13:08:20Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > We already have examples of pigs eating people unfortunate enough to fall in their enclosures. Now tools. If those tools start looking like cutlery, I’m never going to eat bacon again. But if pigs knew how good bacon tasted they’ed all be cannibals:D. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/8 "2019-10-05T13:41:36Z")
Imagined what 30-50 of those could do! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/9 "2019-10-05T13:45:06Z")
> [@rsat3acr](#): > > But if pigs knew how good bacon tasted they’ed all be cannibals:D. Sometimes sows [eat their babies](https://www.businessinsider.com/animals-that-are-cannibals-2018-12#pigs-are-known-to-commit-infanticide-3). :eek: ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/10 "2019-10-05T14:33:19Z")
This is not tool use. The definition given is too weak. One key concept is the tool itself must have been chosen/shaped/etc. before use. A bird using a twig to add to a nest is not tool use. A beaver using twigs and branches to build a dam is not tool use. A chimp selecting a branch of just the right size, breaking it off and stripping it to poke it an hole to dig out ants is tool use. This is merely object use. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2019, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/11 "2019-10-05T14:40:55Z")
Damnit! I told you not to leave that screwdriver out in the yard! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/12 "2019-10-06T05:13:19Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > We already have examples of pigs eating people unfortunate enough to fall in their enclosures. Now tools. If those tools start looking like cutlery, I’m never going to eat bacon again. I would. Eat them before they get the chance to return the favor. Preemptive baconing. ---
**Author:** ![mandala](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mandala/32/95_2.png) [@mandala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mandala)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2019, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/13 "2019-10-06T15:36:12Z")
Meanwhile how are the bovines faring in the area of tool use? I would much rather report to bovine overlords than porcine. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/14 "2019-10-07T00:28:01Z")
lol I can hear the song now “pigs with guns” instead of cows Now those should make a few hundred pounds of pulled pork country ribs pork chops and bacon as an example to “uppity” pork … ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/15 "2019-10-07T00:31:03Z")
> [@mandala](#): > > Meanwhile how are the bovines faring in the area of tool use? I would much rather report to bovine overlords than porcine. here ya go :[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/16 "2019-10-07T00:42:12Z")
I raised a coupla nice pink baby pigs (not the nasty feral pigs). It was enough of a job that I’ll never ever do it again. They got to Market size and I unceremoniously sent them thus. My 3 kids cried like I had sent the pet dogs to be executed. Didn’t stop them from eating bacon, somehow they didn’t put 2 and 2 together. It was very fun telling them about later in their life. The looks on their faces were priceless. I categorically state “no pig will ever rule over me” Their brain power is legendary up and until you put food out. I coined ‘stupid-hungry’ for this phenomenon. They will eat anything. Including their own brethren. They’re easily controlled by this one fact. Tools or no. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/17 "2019-10-07T00:48:31Z")
Catapult birds at them if they get to be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/18 "2019-10-07T01:37:11Z")
> [@mandala](#): > > Meanwhile how are the bovines faring in the area of tool use? TWICE I read this as “How are bovines farting in the area of tool use?” TWICE I wondered where the area of tool use was and who let cows in there. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/19 "2019-10-07T18:42:51Z")
> [@mandala](#): > > Meanwhile how are the bovines faring in the area of tool use? I would much rather report to bovine overlords than porcine. Check with Larson. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300/20 "2019-10-07T20:03:39Z")
I’m sorry Larson retired. His cow humor was priceless. I’m sure his pig humor would be unmatched. ~VOW [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-our-porcine-overlords/841300.md?page=2)