# Welcome to 50 - here's your colonoscopy kit **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2014, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979 "2014-06-04T00:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/1 "2014-06-04T00:21:11Z")
So, I turned 50 and I have my wonderful birthday present coming up later this week. I’m supposed to have a light breakfast tomorrow then only clear liquids until Thursday at noon. Any tips or advise on getting through the next 48 hours? ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/2 "2014-06-04T00:25:04Z")
Stay close to the bathroom. I’ve had four or five, and for me, the prep is much worse than the procedure. There have been a lot of threads about colonoscopies, and I know you’ll be getting lots of advice. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/3 "2014-06-04T00:39:20Z")
Other than the nuisance of hanging around very near the toilet all day, and a certain amount of tenderness in the area, it was much less dramatic or unpleasant than I’d been led to expect (including here). I didn’t find the various prep drinks unpleasant or problematic, I wasn’t uncomfortable, the procedure itself was interesting (I got light medication and watched on the monitor), and I enjoyed a huge burger at Carl’s Jr. afterward with no ill effects. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/4 "2014-06-04T00:42:40Z")
They aren’t that bad. I even did mine without anesthesia which is rarely done in the U.S. so it should be a walk in the park for you. Look at it as a chance to clear all the gunk out of your system that has resisted being expelled from your body so far. It will be coming out soon and there is nothing you can do about it once you start drinking the prep liquid so don’t go to any black tie events or get stranded some place without a bathroom before it is completed. The procedure itself is pretty uneventful. They just stick an air hose (to induce expansion) and scope up your ass and carefully snake it through the subterranean world that is your GI tract. They can snip off little samples if anything needs further analysis. It is fascinating to watch on screen but I am not sure if you will be able to watch it if you get anesthesia. Recovery is no big deal although your ass may be a little sore. You won’t notice any real effects the next day except you may have lost a few pounds and feel bouncy. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/5 "2014-06-04T00:57:52Z")
Make sure you take a picture of the “20 pounds of rotting food” that some of the MLM folks claim is in there. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/6 "2014-06-04T01:13:07Z")
Baby wipes. Toilet paper will be like sandpaper after the 10th or 15th time. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/7 "2014-06-04T01:57:37Z")
What clear liquids did folks find best for getting through the day before? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/8 "2014-06-04T02:14:04Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > What clear liquids did folks find best for getting through the day before? Water or diet Sprite but mainly just water. Eating will be the least of your concerns. Your body will be triggered to get stuff out rather than take it in. Try clear chicken broth if you want something with taste. Don’t go on an all vodka diet. It would be counter-productive. The ‘clear liquid’ rule is stupid and misnamed. They just don’t want you eating anything that will interfere with the scope. Also, don’t ask the doctor why they aren’t taking you to a movie and dinner first for a little romance beforehand. They hear that one all the time and it gets old. ---
**Author:** ![Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kansas_Beekeeper)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/9 "2014-06-04T02:20:44Z")
Dave Barry gets it right: [http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html](http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html) ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/10 "2014-06-04T02:26:03Z")
The instructions are to have a light breakfast tomorrow, then have the first dose tomorrow night and the second dose the next morning. So getting through the day tomorrow is my first concern. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/11 "2014-06-04T02:38:15Z")
If you have a ‘fun’ group of team members like I had, they will send you pictures of real food all day long as you are starving! Nothing like getting a picture of a great looking burger and fries after your latest bowl of clear liquids! The procedure itself wasn’t anything and the food afterwards was great. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/12 "2014-06-04T03:53:00Z")
Lemon Jell-o. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/13 "2014-06-04T07:58:51Z")
> [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](#): > > Dave Barry gets it right: > > [http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html](http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html) Damn Kansas Beekeeper, ya beat me to it. Too funny. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/14 "2014-06-04T08:03:04Z")
Everything you ever wanted your fellow Dopers to tell you about colonoscopies! Compendium of past threads on the subject: [I had a colonoscopy on monday.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=361018) ( **A.R. Cane** 03-01-2006 ) [What to do with my colonoscopy pictures?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=382856) ( **KlondikeGeoff** 08-06-2006 ) [Help interpret my colonoscopy report](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=398134) ( **Sycorax** 11-29-2006 ) [Should a colonoscopy have hurt this much?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=400763) ( **lisacurl** 12-19-2006 ) [Fleet’s Phosphosoda (TMI)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=406324) ( **black rabbit** 01-30-2007 ) (Note: As I’ve mentioned above, I found Phospho-Soda to be totally comfortable to use. Alas, it’s fallen into disfavor and is no longer available.) [Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=416276) ( **kunilou** 04-11-2007 ) [What to expect for a colonoscopy? (TMI)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=420894) ( **Incubus** 05-14-2007 ) [Why is a colonoscopy being done at Camp David?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429728) ( **Fear Itself** 07-21-2007 ) (Note: Numerous threads at about this time speculating on Bush’s colonoscopy. Will they find the Constitution and Bill of Rights up there? What will Acting-Pres. Cheney do during his hour in power? Trying to distinguish real news from Onion article.) [Best Laxative?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=440801) ( **Red Barchetta** 10-19-2007 ) [Rise of the Machines: Anal Probing Robot](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=449442) ( **Tuckerfan** 12-29-2007 ) [Aetna’s New Colonoscopy Policy? Ouch!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=450334) ( **Jinx** 01-05-2008 ) [Colon removal as cancer prevention?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=455264) ( **Kinthalis** 02-11-2008 ) [The Picolax Thread](http://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/) [Apparently a classic colonoscopy thread from the Singletrack message board.] Obligatory link to classic Dave Barry column: [Dave Barry: A journey into my colon – and yours](http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/v-fullstory/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html) (Miami Herald, orig. publ. 02-22-2008) [Colonoscopy-Not great news](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=462010) ( **Mint Julep** 04-01-2008 ) [Get a colonoscopy if you are 50](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=463187) ( **Lillith Fair** 04-09-2008 ) [Ask the guy who just had a colonsocopy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=466228) ( **Eutychus** 05-01-2008x ) [Colonoscopies & Cosmetics](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=470065) ( **KittenKat** 05-31-2008 ) [Journey to the Center of My Colon…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=475627) ( **Shodan** 07-15-2008 ) [Homer Simpson’s colonoscopy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=482024) ( **mobo85** 09-06-2008 ) [Dave Barry colonoscopy journal - humorous PSA](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=485412) ( **pinkyvee** 09-28-2008 ) [Clear liquid diet, one gallon of laxative, colonoscopy - TMI](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=485782) ( **beckwall** 09-30-2008 ) [Making the most of a forced bowel cleanse](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=487042) ( **What the … !!!** 10-09-2008 ) [To boldly Go where no Vet has gone before. Gorilla + Colonoscopy. Newslink](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=491659) ( **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** 11-06-2008 ) [Well, the HalfLytely is kicking in…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=493217) ( **ivylass** 11-16-2008 ) [It’s Roto-Rooter time again…whine](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=500124) ( **Clothahump** 01-03-2009 ) [Colonoscopy - routine or only when symptoms are present?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=503544) ( **Carol the Impaler** 01-25-2009 ) [HalfLytely vs Phospho-Soda](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=504910) ( **crazyjoe** 02-03-2009 ) [Ask yesterday’s colonoscopy recipient](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=515410) ( **Boyo Jim** 04-25-2009 ) [So, ever been through colonoscopy prep?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=547726) ( **EddyTeddyFreddy** 01-13-2010 ) [What’s the poop on CT Colonography?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=557823) ( **teela brown** 03-30-2010 ) [Colonoscopy Baby](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=562523) ( **Cicero** 05-09-2010 ) [Your favorite colonoscopy prep regimen? (need answer fast)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=566221) ( **Mama Zappa** 06-07-2010 ) [Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy - the Sequel](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=575251) ( **kunilou** 08-20-2010 ) [Tell me about your colonoscopy, especially the prep experience](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=577994) ( **Stoid** 09-12-2010 ) [Whatever you do, don’t fart. TMI!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=608935) ( **kambuckta** 05-18-2011 ) [Ooooohhh - My First Colonoscopy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=619388) ( **Atomic Mama** 08-07-2011 ) [Ever Have A High Colonic?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=619547) ( **Quasimodem** 08-08-2011 ) [Includes tangential discussion of colonoscopies.] [Does Miso Soup Count?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=623395) ( **Atomic Mama** 09-07-2011 ) [Going for a colonoscopy - what’s it like?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=636960) ( **AaronX** 01-01-2012 ) [Colonoscopy while conscious: what’s the discomfort?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=637350) ( **Machine Elf** 01-04-2012 ) [Colonoscopy advice](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=642546) ( **Ibanez** 02-18-2012 ) [Having a colonoscopy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=650070) ( **Surly Chick** 04-29-2012 ) [[TMI] Had that colonoscopy 2 weeks ago, and now my ejaculate volume is way down. Normal?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=651180) ( **John DiFool** 05-09-2012 ) [How soon does Dulcolax work? Requesting TMI pre-colonoscopy.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=663471) ( **Napier** 08-27-2012 ) [Need colonoscopy jokes!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669964) ( **Mama Zappa** 10-25-2012 ) [What would happen if…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=672626) ( **CheeseDonkey** 11-17-2012 ) [Mixing laxatives and anti-diarrheal meds, with side-discussion of colonoscopy prep.] [Tell me about your colonoscopy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=684967) ( **tdn** 03-12-2013 ) [colon cancer and colonoscopies](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=689360) ( **Machine Elf** 04-27-2013 ) [Colonoscopies](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16315966#post16315966) ( **john b.** 05/23/2013 ) [Good news for colonoscopy prep!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=696074) ( **Mama Zappa** 07/09/2013 ) [Colonoscopy in a week](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=703563) ( **Ike Witt** 9/30/2013 ) [Another Colonoscopy Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=709612) ( **Siam Sam** 12-05-2013 ) [It’s been two months - time for another Colonoscopy Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=719221) ( **Mauvaise** 03/25/2014 ) [Welcome to 50 - here’s your colonoscopy kit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=725122) ( **Telemark** 06/03/2014 ) ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/15 "2014-06-04T09:17:56Z")
If I could only give one piece of advice, it would be to drink huge amounts of water during the day prior to the procedure. If you don’t, you will have to go back and do it all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/16 "2014-06-04T11:48:01Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Everything you ever wanted your fellow Dopers to tell you about colonoscopies! I never imagined that there would be that much crap on the SDMB. Time to start reading, I guess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/17 "2014-06-04T12:06:05Z")
Having one on the 16th. Think it’s a case of “Lie back and think of England”. Or, as Sydney dopers might appreciate, “Lie back, and think of Engadine.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/18 "2014-06-04T16:57:23Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > The instructions are to have a light breakfast tomorrow, then have the first dose tomorrow night and the second dose the next morning. So getting through the day tomorrow is my first concern. I found beef broth to be really tasty - much more so than I would have otherwise. Also, I second the vote for stocking up on some baby wipes. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/19 "2014-06-04T16:57:55Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > . . . The procedure itself is pretty uneventful. They just stick an air hose (to induce expansion) and scope up your ass and carefully snake it through the subterranean world that is your GI tract. They can snip off little samples if anything needs further analysis. It is fascinating to watch on screen but I am not sure if you will be able to watch it if you get anesthesia. . . . . They also have a little spray hose to wash off the last bits of yellow and give a good view. I was given some kind of anesthesia and told that I’d probably go to sleep. I’m guessing it was a tranquilizer because I was completely awake, just really mellow. The mellowness continued a good bit after I was home. Just ask my son and his girlfriend. Which reminds me, you were notified to arrange to have someone drive you home, right? > [@Telemark](#): > > I never imagined that there would be that much crap on the SDMB. Time to start reading, I guess. 🙂 Have we talked more about colonoscopies than about weddings? Or have I just noticed the colonoscopies more? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979/20 "2014-06-04T17:24:51Z")
I haven’t had the pleasure of being introduced to the gas pipe, but I have had the bowel prep. My advice is to lay in a good supply of reading material, some premium baby wipes, and something sealed to keep the used wipes because you’ll clog your toilet otherwise. Basically, you’ll feel some not-uncomfortable tummy rumbling, then it flows. And flows. And flows. I found the taste of the mag citrate to be the worst of it, frankly. It tasted like very salty Sprite. If you get the same stuff, make sure it’s cold. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-50-heres-your-colonoscopy-kit/689979.md?page=2)