# Welcome to Bad Brothers Bait-and-Switch store... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 7, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774 "2006-06-07T18:21:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/21 "2006-06-08T17:25:59Z")
Shopkeeper! I want a Mail-Order Bride. And make sure she’s fresh! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/22 "2006-06-08T17:55:59Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Shopkeeper! > I want a Mail-Order Bride. > And make sure she’s fresh! Mail order bride? Well, unfortunately she was deported last week back to Pago Pago . . . but I do have this new live goat! Trust me, the goat, you can tell it what to do, and it’ll do it! It’ll never bitch that you stayed out all night with the boys, and it won’t nag you about the dishes. What’s best, it doesn’t have a mother in law! But hurry up! I gotta book a flight back to the States! Tripler Man, I hope this place has a good on-line airline ticket agency. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/23 "2006-06-08T19:53:24Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > Well, all we currently stock is Used Paint (in the shape of a house) but since that’s too close to what you want, that won’t work, however i _do_ have something Just As Good, something i’m _sure_ you’ll absolutely _LOVE_… > > Realistic, Lifelike Animatronic Robot Sheep… > > i mean just _look_ at the realistic walking motion, the Authentic, Synthetic (Flame Retardant) fur, you’d swear they were _real_… > > (Sorry **Hal** , couldn’t resist… 😉 ) Bullocks to the Lifelike Animatronic Robot Sheep! I had one last year, this crazy android I’d been having an affair with found out where I lived and pushed my sheep right off the ledge to its death! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/24 "2006-06-08T20:18:21Z")
> [@Mr. Slant](#): > > Bullocks to the Lifelike Animatronic Robot Sheep! I had one last year, this crazy android I’d been having an affair with found out where I lived and pushed my sheep right off the ledge to its death! Was it under warranty? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/25 "2006-06-08T20:37:48Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Was it under warranty? Warranty, schmarranty. What you need is a shiny new slide whistle. I just so happen to have such a slide whistle riiiiiight here. It hits the hig notes and the low notes just as easy as your mother’s panties hit the floor. Look! It’s nice and shiny as well. You can reflect the sun and work on frying ants or you can use it as your favorite, non-piercing pocket mirror! All yours for the handy-dandy price of $65.72. No warranty needed on this bad boy either! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/26 "2006-06-08T21:00:20Z")
I need a box of bandaids and some antibiotic oitment ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/27 "2006-06-08T21:26:38Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > I need a box of bandaids and some antibiotic oitment Well, unfortunately we had a self-mutilation/masochist conference arrive in town, all the hotels are booked up solid, and they’ve bought out our entire stock of first-aid supplies, the hospitals are doing great business though… Lucky for you, i just happen to have something Just As Good!.. this box of surplus hard drive magnets!, you can stick them to _any_ metal surface, and look how strongly they’ll hold, just think of all the things you can stick to metal surfaces like car fenders, refrigerators, filing cabinets, you can magnetize your screwdrivers, yep, there’s _nothing_ a nice, big box of magnets can’t improve… ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/28 "2006-06-08T21:32:58Z")
Oh, I’m also looking for a decent coffee machine, what do you have in stock, just a basic machine, nothing special… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/29 "2006-06-08T21:37:58Z")
A coffee machine? Don’t you know that caffienne is bad for you. Joe Dimaggiio died, for Chrissakes. Instead of that addictive poison, why not try my all new Healthy Juicer. This will make juice out of anything–fruit, veggies, placenta, hair, toenails, body wastes, anything. Good for you juice for only $399! And if you act now, I’ll throw in for free this handsome china picture, made from the rare gemstone by native American! Just what you need to add the final touch to all your natural fluids. All this talking has got me thirsty. Somebody got a Coke? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/30 "2006-06-08T21:43:52Z")
Did I hear someone say Coca-Cola? Young lady, you know that sort of fizzy beverage dissolves pennies and cleans car batteries. That’s not what you need. What you need, my fine, youg woman, is a contraceptive sponge. Yes, the “SpoogeStopper 5000” is your ticket to satisfaction. When you want to root around like a whore and get stabbed by a line of gents, this handy-dandy sponge will be your bestest friend in the whole, wide world. Just be sure you’ve got it in place properly after reading the 15 page manual or else you’ll get shot up fulla spunk faster than a thrity man takes free samples! Pandering to stereotypes, you say? Never! I’m just THAT enamored with my SpoogeStopper. It’s a lifesaver! (used under the proper context, that is) ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/31 "2006-06-08T21:44:53Z")
thrity = thrifty I’m THAT enamored! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/32 "2006-06-08T23:11:09Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > Mail order bride? Well, unfortunately she was deported last week back to Pago Pago . . . but I do have this new live goat! Trust me, the goat, you can tell it what to do, and it’ll do it! It’ll never bitch that you stayed out all night with the boys, and it won’t nag you about the dishes. What’s best, it doesn’t have a mother in law! > But hurry up! I gotta book a flight back to the States! > > Tripler > Man, I hope this place has a good on-line airline ticket agency. That’s not fresh. You have made some sort of **use** of that goat. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2006, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/33 "2006-06-08T23:38:10Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > That’s not fresh. > You have made some sort of **use** of that goat. You want an ignorant, inexperienced goat? One that knows nothing of the finer arts of…goatery? Fine, go to a lesser quality establishment, like the one in the joke about the Frenchman, the Englishman, the Basque and the sheep. Hmph. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774/34 "2006-06-09T15:39:20Z")
Oh, sorry, looks like the goat ran away… but i just happen to have something Just As Good!.. an entire 18-wheeler trailer full of [Cowboy Mike’s Original Red-Hot Ric-O-chet Barbecue Sauce (It’s BOLD!!)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfBr5l4S63Q&search=MST3K%20Bold) (Cranial Ports sold seperately…), what’s your shipping address, and will that be cash/check/credit card? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-bad-brothers-bait-and-switch-store/359774.md?page=1)