# Welcome to Dopeville, pop. 27,757 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006 "2002-12-11T14:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/321 "2002-12-13T20:05:45Z")
Gosh, is it Friday already? You know what that means! Last night’s “Tahiti Night” was a roaring sucess. ( **Kn\*ckers** , are you up for this after your smashing performance last night?)I’ve already got the place cleared out, and now all I have to do is roll out the good furniture for tonight’s **Pajama & Martini Party**! Yup, it’s a party a minute at **Skerri’s**. Can someone recommend a good carpet cleaning company? (Until I get that stain out, I’ll have to keep some sort of barricade up…) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/322 "2002-12-13T20:09:57Z")
Just so everybody knows, it was not the bear (this time) that peed on **Skerri’s** carpet last night. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/323 "2002-12-13T20:24:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by anya marie \* > Anya Marie here and wasn’t that a great set! I am going to pay some Springsteen, **Beck** , Wilco, **U2** , and The Wallflowers, A little more **Split Enz, and Crowded House**! We just got a request for some **Tori Amos** , Dixiw Chicks Santana. And Murray would like me to play the **Foo Fighters** And **Travis**. > I can still fit in a few more requests, so please call before my show ends at 555-KDPE, that’s 555-5373! [Bolding my favorites] Could you play some old **Tears for Fears**? I just saw “Pale Shelter” on VH1 Classic and I’ve got the jones for some TfF now. I was thinking of getting a part-time job at an independent radio station because I want to hear what _ **I** _ want to hear, but if you’re playing great stuff like that, I’ll listen to you all the time! Even while I’m auditing **plnnr’s** books for that **“Boobs for Taxpayers”** scam he’s got going! Ya know, **plnnr** , I’ll sweep the whole thing under the rug if I can get a nice set of D-cups. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/324 "2002-12-13T20:38:07Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Skerri \* > \*\* > Last night’s “Tahiti Night” was a roaring sucess. (\*\*Kn_ckers\*\*, are you up for this after your smashing performance last night?)I’ve already got the place cleared out, and now all I have to do is roll out the good furniture for tonight’s **Pajama & Martini Party**! Yup, it’s a party a minute at **Skerri’s**. \*\* I’d be delighted - I was so glad that my rendition of “Cocomo” was such a hit, last night! Remember, Dopers and Dopresses, you can fill all your pajama needs at Knyckers Fine Lingerie! And in honor of **Skerri’s** Pajama & Martini Party, all sleepwear is half off! That is, the _price_ is half off. Though tailoring is available upon request. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/325 "2002-12-13T20:39:26Z")
Well now, no big town is complete without the local motorcycle shop. We sell all brands and all the local bikers like to hang out here. We are not always open on the weekends since we like to ride, and once a month we do a safety class for the new riders. I’m gonna need a few sales people and a mechanic or two even though I do both. Any and all gear you could want is here from jackets and helmets to bags for your trips. I’m also gonna open a metal shop/bar for the metal bands to play in. Not to take away from the other fine establisments but a metal bar is unique. Here you can find all that hard to find metal from around the world. We are only open late at night after the bike shop closes down. Also, and since this shouldn’t take too much of my time I’ll be the local map maker, I can have maps for any occasion and all the local buisness will be listed of course. The good motorcycle roads will also be highlighted. Lastly in my spare time I will play trombone for any band that happens to need one. I’m not picky so I’ll play Jazz, orchestra, or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/326 "2002-12-13T21:51:50Z")
_reads all 7 pages and rethinks the idea of becoming the town **Banger** _ ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/327 "2002-12-13T22:01:44Z")
You want to send me down to that den of iniquity? Well, if you insist…but this is going on the corporate credit card. What?! You know she’ll kick me out if I don’t at least try some stuff on! (This trip to the lingerie store might take a while. Like, all weekend. Because I’m not going out of town until Monday or anything. Nope. I’m trying on sexy bras.) ---
**Author:** ![Treviathan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@Treviathan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treviathan)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/328 "2002-12-13T22:27:52Z")
Sorry 'bout the prolonged absence, but Otherville was having an excellent music festival this weekend - fifteen garage bands from Finland, Sweden, Norway, Latvia, and Estonia - so I haven’t been around to respond to applications. I tried to get **Lsura** to come, but she said something about having to re-submit her thesis proposal, which I totally understand. Anyways… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ScorpioStem \* > \*\*I am trying to score one of the jobs with Treviathan as a disc jockey at KTRV. \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Visible \* > **I’d love to get a weekly nighttime spot on the community station KTRV 90.5, say from midnight to four a.m. on Wednesday nights.** **ScorpioStem** , since you’re a highschool student, would you be willing to fill some of our early morning time slots, say maybe from 6-8 A.M.? We could really use an energetic young voice to kick off the morning; plus, that punk music will get everyone out of bed much quicker than some of the stuff played at our…ahem…_other_ radio stations. **Mr. Visible** , we’d love to have someone carry us through the wee hours of the night. If you and **ScorpioStem** could make it in sometime this weekend for an intense training session (well, as intense as community radio can get), we’ll get you guys on the air this week. Oh, and make sure to brush up on your leftist political ramblings and your snide dismissals of “popular” radio - the hallmarks of any self-respecting community radio host! ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/329 "2002-12-13T22:40:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*I keep on hoping the sparks will jump from my fingers to yours when I’m paying my overdue fines. \*\* (glaring over the top of her hornrim glasses and down her prim little nose) Yes, well, while you were paying your fines the other day, I noticed you wedding ring. Sir, would your wife appreciate knowing that you’ve been flirting with librarians? If I were her, I wouldn’t put up with such nonsense. Fiddle dee dee! ---
**Author:** ![ScorpioStem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@ScorpioStem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScorpioStem)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/330 "2002-12-13T22:58:17Z")
Treviathan, Unfortunately classes at Dopeville High begin at 7 in the morning. However, I could take the spot from 3 to 5 if it would be ok with you. I am definitely up for the training this weekend and I look very forward to meeting you. Skerri, Are you in need of any bands for opening acts in the near future? The Whelks are not booked for very many shows right now, so please contact me if you are interested. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/331 "2002-12-14T00:03:34Z")
**ScorpioStem** , we can always work something out. At **Skerri’s** , we’re very accomodating. (You just have to promise not to do anything illegal, since you’re still in high school.) 😉 Now, who wants the first martini? ---
**Author:** ![bristlesage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@bristlesage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bristlesage)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/332 "2002-12-14T00:06:10Z")
Me! Dry dry dry, dirty, two blue cheese stuffed olives. Tanq Ten is my gin. Should I just mix it myself? ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/333 "2002-12-14T00:11:30Z")
Heh heh. No, but you’ll have to do the olives. I’m ridiculously allergic to bleu cheese. 😃 Snazzy pjs you’ve got there, **bristlesage**. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/334 "2002-12-14T00:15:57Z")
Well, I decided to give my, er, staff the night off. I’ve got these green satin lounging pajamas that have to be shown off. I’ll mosey down to **Skerri** ’s for the evening’s festivities… ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/335 "2002-12-14T00:35:29Z")
_Local drunks congregate at nearby watering hole._ _Governor calls out militia to quell rebellion._ _pllnr scandal rocks local red light district._ ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/336 "2002-12-14T00:37:28Z")
Doperville Gazette Special Supplement. _Chronic PJ Shortage: What you can do to help._ ---
**Author:** ![bristlesage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@bristlesage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bristlesage)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/337 "2002-12-14T01:02:30Z")
Hey, thanks. I made them myself because I’m avoiding Knyckers’s place due to the libel suit against **pllnr**. (She is entangled in the whole mess, you remember.) I think I’m ready for my second, if you would, ma’am. I just have to be careful not to give away any quiz answers or crossword puzzle clues… ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/338 "2002-12-14T01:18:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > **Tikki** , you’re not a pawn! You’re valued over here in Rival Town! We don’t _use_ you per se, we just occasionally find that you help us out in ways of which you aren’t aware. I don’t see “pawn” anywhere in that last sentence. > > Now, heck, I’d be extremely grateful if you’d deliver this package marked “Troll” to **Rue** at the post office. I mean, after all, you’re going there anyway to model some shorts… right? \*\* Who said I’d be modeling any shorts??? It’s true I may be trusting but I know a lech when I see one. However, if **Rue** would wear a \*\* _skirt_ \*\*I might reconsider. However, I will deliver your package since Rival Town doesn’t seem to have a post office. Maybe I could open one there if my application here falls through. Or maybe I’ll open a delivery service! Oh, so many things to think about! Oh, and **Swampbear** …um…I was hoping _you_ were the big, hairy one. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/339 "2002-12-14T01:38:07Z")
This is getting interesting… **anya marie** , as of tomorrow morning you will be doing the AM drive show. I like your style, young lady, and your musical tastes are impeccable. We’ll show those NPR geeks a thing or two when the ratings come out. 😛 Oh yes, and after your shift, why don’t you run by the town hall and see if you can make…uh…friends, yeah, that’s the right word…with the town manager? Maybe he can tell you a thing or two about his uncharacteristic silence the past 12 hours. **widdershins** , are you still happy with the overnight shift, or would you like to move up to afternoons? ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/340 "2002-12-14T01:53:49Z")
Hey, I’ve decided I _will_ open a delivery service since I’m a little peeved at **Rue’s** lax ways (not to mention the way he keeps staring at me.) So I’ve got me a little place just off of Main Street, a ten-speed bike and a Radio Flyer. So remember my slogan, “When you really, truely want it to get there, trust Tikki!” I am also announcing my junk mail pick-up service 4 times a week. North side of town on Mondays, East on Wednesdays, South on Thursdays, and West on Saturdays. Just place your junk mail in a bag and leave it on your porch or hanging from the flag of your mailbox. By the way, **Plnnr** when you have a moment between extortions, could you please look over my proposal for my 30-foot-high junk mail forest out on Lake Dope. I’m really anxious to start work on it. I think my critter training skills might be of use to a certain **Cougarfang**. It’s just a suggestion. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006.md?page=18)