# Welcome to Dopeville, pop. 27,757 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006 "2002-12-11T14:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/41 "2002-12-11T17:23:55Z")
**Knyckers** is the really snooty lingerie shop. Or rather, “shoppe”. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/42 "2002-12-11T17:24:33Z")
Well, you’ll find me in residence at the old Johnson place, y’know the one, you can just see the cupola over the trees behind the library as you drive west out of town on Baker st? Anyway, you’re most likely to hear about me on a day after the police have been called out because of the maniacal laughter or when the locals are muttering about the latest strange phenomenon in the middle of the night. I’ll be the one they mean if they start a sentence with the phrase “That boy ain’t right”. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/43 "2002-12-11T17:25:54Z")
I’m the town’s quiet grad student. I live here 'cause I can get cheap rent and still learn what I need to learn. I’m unemployed, but I always have high hopes that the perfect part time job will come along - one that pays me enough for rent, amusement and the like. Until then, I continually talk about getting a job, but prefer to hang out and have philosophical discussions. ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/44 "2002-12-11T17:26:06Z")
I’m the one who longs to leave for the City. In the meantime, I keep **Kyla’s** bookstore and the local watering hole in business. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/45 "2002-12-11T17:31:09Z")
Dang, **Uncle Rue** - I figgered you’d set yerself in front of the general store and tell the local kiddies all yer tales… And those magazines that keep coming to my house? Well, I didn’t subscribe to them. Really! I think someone did as a joke, the sick bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/46 "2002-12-11T17:33:07Z")
I run an international comics-publishing organization out of my apartment. I’ve contracted with **mcms\_cricket** for a whiz-bang website for selling my comics. The website is connected to the local copy shop and fulfilment house, of whom I am a client. In my spare time, I’m also president of the local Esperanto society (we meet at the bookstore or library or coffeeshop, and then go out to dinner), and I frequently host guests from out of town. Occaisionally these guests are interviewed by the local media. I bow in the direction of Her Imperial Polarity. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/47 "2002-12-11T17:33:49Z")
Can I be town drunk? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/48 "2002-12-11T17:42:02Z")
The [original](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28008), in case anyone’s interested. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/49 "2002-12-11T17:43:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*Doh! I was going to run a game store! Can I work at yours? > > I’d call mine, “The Geektique”. \*\* Sure. We can have spirited discussions at the relative merit of AD&D 3E vs. Rifts, and whether or not we should start stocking some of Sunspace’s comics. ---
**Author:** ![deathawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@deathawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deathawk)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/50 "2002-12-11T17:45:32Z")
Interesting **Eve** started that one too. Just the sort of thing the town’s crabby recluse would point out. ---
**Author:** ![Biba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Biba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biba)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/51 "2002-12-11T17:45:37Z")
Another alien who’s moved in, I’m looking for a job, so would welcome any offers, I love books, gardens, but would be happy with almost anything. Failing any job offers coming in, perhaps I could be the Official Town Lurker. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/52 "2002-12-11T17:46:17Z")
I’m the opinionated old crank who sits out on his front porch and shakes his cane at “those darn kids.” Got an empty rocker right next to me should **sailor** stumble by. ---
**Author:** ![deathawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@deathawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deathawk)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/53 "2002-12-11T17:47:01Z")
The recluse is me if that was not obvious from the last post. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/54 "2002-12-11T17:50:10Z")
**Town character #1** _currently sitting on the curb outside of **Knyckers Lingerie Shoppe** sipping something from a bag and leering at the female customers._ ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/55 "2002-12-11T17:56:09Z")
I’ll solve all your mysteries with the help of my dog. I specialize in finding out who is haunting the old abandoned buildings. ::peers suspiciously at **Eve** :: Why, that’s not **Eve** at all! It’s…_a mask!_ ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/56 "2002-12-11T18:00:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyla \* > \*\*I own the town bookstore. Call me a snob, but my shelves are laden with interesting books on politics, history, science, film history (of course!) and great novels. And because Dopers are my custom, I also carry the complete works of JRR Tolkein and The Onion. Nary a Danielle Steele book to be found, but comfy chairs and couches are in great abundance. > > Politziana is my employee. She has an excellent employee discount. \*\* I want to work at the bookstore, too. Please? I promise not to ever order cheesy Harlequin romance novels, and to always keep Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters and lots of good women’s literature and poetry in stock. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/57 "2002-12-11T18:00:44Z")
I’m still the friendly uncle next door…although I’ve introduced a new supporting character in my life… ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/58 "2002-12-11T18:03:24Z")
Although everybody so far has self identified, I’d ask **Eve** or other participants to decide what _I_ am. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![deathawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@deathawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deathawk)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/59 "2002-12-11T18:04:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by deathawk \* > \*\*Interesting **Eve** started that one too. > > Just the sort of thing the town’s crabby recluse would point out. \*\* Since my initial correction did not appear until the second page, let me be clear: I mean myself here, not **Uncle Beer**. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006/60 "2002-12-11T18:06:04Z")
I think **Polycarp** is our town preacher. 🙂 Me? I own the television station. Star Trek, all kinds, movies, comedies, home improvement shows…you want it, I can air it. (Except porn. That’s for the XXX shop down the street. Our advertisers won’t support it on air.) Now…who wants to be our news anchor? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-dopeville-pop-27-757/142006.md?page=4)