# Welcome to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211 "2004-05-26T18:12:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/1 "2004-05-26T18:12:18Z")
So, I’m cruising around the internet looking for a new place to call home after deciding the message board I’ve been at for the last two years has just changed too much for me. So I get pointed to here. Looks like a lively bunch, but I’m sitting here wondering, what makes this place worth 14.95 a year? Please answer in 12 words or less. btw, can we say fuck here? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/2 "2004-05-26T18:17:02Z")
Well, for starters, this place is populated by folks that will graciously tell you that you’ve posted in the wrong forum. This should probably be in MPSIMS, just as an FYI. That being said, welcome to the boards. And yes, you can say “fuck” here. Fuck. see? ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/3 "2004-05-26T18:20:53Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Fuck. Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say “earmuffs” to him, and you can say “Fuck, shit, bitch.” ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/4 "2004-05-26T18:23:17Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say “earmuffs” to him, and you can say “Fuck, shit, bitch.” Did you just call me a fucking shit bitch? Bite me. Goat. Felching. Monkey. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/5 "2004-05-26T18:24:25Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > Please answer in 12 words or less. Once you reach a thousand posts, you get your own masseuse. ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/6 "2004-05-26T18:32:28Z")
HA! I was just looking at this thread in MPSIMS, and then used the “Jump to a Forum” at the bottom to go to the pit to read something else. But lo! Here is the same thread, freshly booted here after gratuitous use of the word fuck! So, ya gotta appreciate the way the mods are all over this shit. And I mean that in a good way. 😃 Oh yeah. Since this is now in the pit: _Mother fucking piece-of-shit, Stupid ass son-of-a-bitch!_ ---
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/7 "2004-05-26T18:58:40Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Once you reach a thousand posts, you get your own masseuse. Ding ding ding. We have a winner. So, can we pick our own masseuse? I’d like a swedish girl named Inga. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/8 "2004-05-26T19:04:53Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Once you reach a thousand posts, you get your own masseuse. Dammit, where’s my masseuse? And do we get “happy endings”? ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/9 "2004-05-26T19:18:19Z")
Why should you join? Because it’s worth every penny. Since you can’t search you can find a sample [Here](http://www.teemings.com/extras/) and here Tinkertoy who’s been here for three bloody years and still hasn’t qualified for her own Masseuse ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/10 "2004-05-26T19:20:25Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > So, can we pick our own masseuse? I’d like a swedish girl named Inga. You wish, kid. It’s like the games at the carnival. At 1,000 you start out with a massively obese sweaty Armenian named Mitch. You get Mitch and his twin brother Carl at 2,000, and you can trade them in for Marge at 3,000. My advice is hold out for 5,000, where can trade in Carl and Mitch and your 3,000 post credit for Roger. Roger may have some open sores and really bad breathe, but his hands are healing hands. You get Inga after 128,000 posts and only if Tuba has yet to yell at you. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/11 "2004-05-26T19:21:45Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > So, can we pick our own masseuse? I’d like a swedish girl named Inga. We got no Inga. We got an Ilsa, though. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/12 "2004-05-26T19:22:27Z")
> [@Tinkertoy](#): > > Why should you join? Because it’s worth every penny. > Since you can’t search you can find a sample [Here](http://www.teemings.com/extras/) > and here > > Tinkertoy who’s been here for three bloody years and still hasn’t qualified for her own Masseuse And, as we all know, the first sample is always free. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/13 "2004-05-26T19:23:13Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Once you reach a thousand posts, you get your own masseuse. WOO-HOO!!! Now I’m torn…should I request a small Janapese woman who can walk on my back and do shiatsu, or should I request a large German woman who will hurt me? 😕 Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/14 "2004-05-26T19:26:39Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > …what makes this place worth 14.95 a year? Please answer in 12 words or less… Another thing that you will like is that you will find that the folk here are pretty darn smart and that they refuse to be held in by artificially imposed limitations. I find that this quality is one of the more endearing things about the people that post here. 100% worth every penny. In my time here, I daresay that my writing has improved and my thoughts have become more clear. My acne has cleared up and I married a supermodel who can suck the chrome off a bumper. I have developed telepath, and amassed untold wealth. Indeed, I would not be half of the internet persona that I am today without this hallowed board. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/15 "2004-05-26T19:27:50Z")
But, it would seem, that it has done nothing for my previewing and proofreading skills. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/16 "2004-05-26T19:35:37Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > You wish, kid. It’s like the games at the carnival. At 1,000 you start out with a massively obese sweaty Armenian named Mitch. You get Mitch and his twin brother Carl at 2,000, and you can trade them in for Marge at 3,000. My advice is hold out for 5,000, where can trade in Carl and Mitch and your 3,000 post credit for Roger. Roger may have some open sores and really bad breathe, but his hands are healing hands. Sorry to tell you, but Roger’s hands are no longer healing. The sores have reopened. They may never heal. The good news, however, is that there are plans to replace Roger’s diseased fingers with pizza cutters. ---
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/17 "2004-05-26T19:36:13Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > But, it would seem, that it has done nothing for my previewing and proofreading skills. And apparently nothing for your math skills. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/18 "2004-05-26T19:44:57Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > And apparently nothing for your math skills. Um. . . yeah. Refer back to \*\*Binarydrone’s \*\* prior post: > [@](#): > > the folk here . . . refuse to be held in by artificially imposed limitations 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/19 "2004-05-26T19:45:37Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > Looks like a lively bunch, but I’m sitting here wondering, what makes this place worth 14.95 a year? Please answer in 12 words or less. Well, **I’m** here. ---
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/20 "2004-05-26T19:46:43Z")
> [@Genghis Bob](#): > > Um. . . yeah. Refer back to \*\*Binarydrone’s \*\* prior post: > > 😉 'Touche \*starts digging through couch cushions… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211.md?page=2)