# Welcome to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 26, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211 "2004-05-26T18:12:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/61 "2004-05-27T04:38:30Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say “earmuffs” to him, and you can say “Fuck, shit, bitch.” “Cock! Balls!” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/62 "2004-05-27T04:42:33Z")
I keep thinking of the title of this thread as “Welcome to Me, population: 1”. Hello you guys. Play nice. And no fucking outside the pit. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/63 "2004-05-27T05:16:31Z")
Welcome, Sharky! “Where the deep blue pearly waters wash across white silver sands…” ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/64 "2004-05-27T05:52:56Z")
> [@Jimmy Chitwood](#): > > You can say fuck all over the place. You just can’t say “Fuck you” or “You fuck” or “I fucked your mom” anywhere but the Pit. Read a **Deadwood** Thread in Cafe Society sometime. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/65 "2004-05-27T10:25:54Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > You male or female? And do you do massages? 😛 I am male. I don’t do massages… but for U$S 14 I’ll learn really fast. Binarydome, fuck you for your not so subtle indication that this is a scam. For your information a resarch has been done by a prestigious university “The scientologist creation college of El Paso” that demostrates, without a doubt, that you can loose weight simply by using the SDMB.- ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/66 "2004-05-27T11:06:30Z")
If you don’t annoy the mods they send you cookies as a thank you. (Well, it’s ALMOST 12 words.) ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/67 "2004-05-27T13:29:13Z")
> [@lainaf](#): > > I believe that you can say “I fucked you mom” in GD and GQ, as long as you provide a cite. Dude…That seems to be the sort of thing that not only would be weird if you did it, but would be doubly weird if you kept notes. As for being able to say “fuck:” I wish I knew that before, my posts would be a lot more entertaining. At least more obviously ignorant. ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/68 "2004-05-27T13:45:02Z")
> [@Aldebaran](#): > > _There is currently no other US based message board where you can admire the shining presence of this brilliant red star._ > I know it shall take a while for you to overcome the shock, yet as you can witness yourself, all the others have and remained alive. Wait. wait. Are we trying to keep the guy or scare him off? ---
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/69 "2004-05-27T14:01:05Z")
I’m still trying to see the star… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/70 "2004-05-27T14:03:02Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > 'Touche > \*starts digging through couch cushions… You’re a little late for the cheapo introductory rate of $4.somethin’. Oh…And I want to buy a vowel. I’ll take an “e”. I’m going to try to solve it: Pete. How’d I do? ---
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/71 "2004-05-27T14:04:59Z")
—| | O | | | \_ ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/72 "2004-05-27T14:14:27Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > All I know is, that when I reached 2000 posts, burly men bearing beer and cookies appeared at my front door for a two week bacchanal. I just now am able to walk again. Oh, and **my** breakfast was a hot breakfast buffet with a chef who made belgian waffles to order. So there! Maybe it’s because I’ve moved a lot, but I guess my burly men haven’t been able to find me yet, 2000 posts later than they found you. But when they finally get here, I hope they’re balding! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/73 "2004-05-27T14:28:09Z")
> [@Lsura](#): > > Maybe it’s because I’ve moved a lot, but I guess my burly men haven’t been able to find me yet, 2000 posts later than they found you. > But when they finally get here, I hope they’re balding! They were an assortment of balding, shaved head and buzz cut. MMMMMM… a burly man sampler. 😃 Welcome **Sharky**! I’m about three hours northeast of you in south GA. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/74 "2004-05-27T15:13:19Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Once you reach a thousand posts, you get your own masseuse. A _ **THOUSAND?!?** _ It was only 600 when I singed up! Bastards. They keep upping the ante. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/75 "2004-05-27T16:35:59Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > A _ **THOUSAND?!?** _ It was only 600 when I singed up! Bastards. They keep upping the ante. 😉 Actually, the rule is “twice **Winston Smith** ’s current post count”. So as of today, it takes 1088 posts to get the masseuse. [sub]And the rest of us would appreciate it if you’d only post when absolutely necessary…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/76 "2004-05-27T16:41:08Z")
> [@P\_T\_](#): > > —| > | O > | > | > | > \_ Shit. I was so sure. I’m going to buy a “Y”. Vanna? Do we have a “Y”? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/77 "2004-05-27T17:21:59Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Actually, the rule is “twice **Winston Smith** ’s current post count”. So as of today, it takes 1088 posts to get the masseuse. > > [sub]And the rest of us would appreciate it if you’d only post when absolutely necessary…[/sub] It’s me?!? Damn. The Red Sox curse is my fault, too. [sub]I’ll stop posting now. Goodbye! \[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![P\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a587f6/32.png) [@P\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P_T)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/78 "2004-05-27T17:57:10Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Shit. I was so sure. > > I’m going to buy a “Y”. > > Vanna? Do we have a “Y”? —| | O | /| | / | \_ There, I’ll just save time. It would have been PT, but the powers that be require at least a 4 letter name. Now, I would really rather not discuss what PT stands for. A few here already know… ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/79 "2004-05-27T18:11:56Z")
Plastic Testicles? ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211/80 "2004-05-27T18:37:35Z")
No, _pizza_ testicles, of course. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/welcome-to-me/247211.md?page=5)