# Well, I likely have cancer \[update: no, I don't\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2018, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197 "2018-09-12T00:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/61 "2018-09-18T17:30:23Z")
Thanks again to everyone for the well-wishes. I made it through the surgery and just got home a few minutes ago. The doctor says everything went according to textbook. Hurts like hell right now, but I’m really happy to be back in my bed, especially since I got virtually no sleep last night. The doctor thinks we’ll get pathology results back sometime next week, but his “gut” is still that it’s seminoma, which would be the best malignancy we could hope for. And I cannot say enough how fortunate I am to have **wonky** by my side through this, for both the physical and emotional support. She is just unbelievable. Alright. I’m drugged up, got a little bit of food in me, and am comfortably under the covers. I’m going to see if I can get some sleep. I hope everyone else is having a good day! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/62 "2018-09-18T17:37:42Z")
Great news!! ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/63 "2018-09-18T17:42:08Z")
This is hardly “mundane and pointless stuff”! We’re talking about your life, here. Thank God for the good prognosis!! ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/64 "2018-09-18T18:07:53Z")
Yay. Great news! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/65 "2018-09-18T19:54:04Z")
Terrific news !!! And a huzzah, huzzah for your dearly beloved who is caring for you. Sure makes all the difference !!! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/66 "2018-09-18T20:59:37Z")
Sleep well and I’m so glad the worst is behind you. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2018, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/67 "2018-09-18T21:10:29Z")
Best wishes for speedy recovery and upbeat pathology results. Hope everything turns out as well for you as it did for Lance Armstrong (minus the returned medals and embarrassing Oprah appearance). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2018, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/68 "2018-09-20T13:55:19Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > … best malignancy … … Now that’s a pair of words we don’t see that often! Glad to hear all went well!! Cone of Shame: If you’re limber enough where that’s a necessity after this particular surgery, Wonky is a lucky person indeed :D. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2018, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/69 "2018-09-20T17:47:56Z")
I’m glad you’re home and recovering. Take care of yourself! You too **Wonky**! (How 'bout them Dodgers! :)) ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/70 "2018-10-11T21:51:46Z")
Well, it has been a strange ride, but it turns out I did not have cancer. Both the initial pathology report and the more detailed addendum from Johns Hopkins confirmed an exceedingly rare (only a few cases ever reported in the medical literature) but benign tumor. I apparently had something called “testicular fibrothecoma.” No reported case of this tumor has ever turned out to be malignant to date, and neither my urologist nor Johns Hopkins even sees a need for me to have any follow-up down the road. I’ve been set free. I am obviously grateful to not have cancer, and to not have to worry about going through radiation or chemotherapy. Still, it has been very strange to have my life completely uprooted out of the blue one day, to be on an operating table a week later, and then to suddenly be told, “Nope, nevermind. You’re fine. Have a nice life.” I feel a bit like I’ve been through an alien abduction. I’m still healing a bit from the surgery—I seem to be on the slower side of that. I’m supposed to go back to work next week. Like nothing ever happened, I guess. Other than being a testicle lighter than I used to be. Thanks to everyone who read and/or contributed to the thread. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/71 "2018-10-11T21:54:27Z")
Great news! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/72 "2018-10-11T22:00:51Z")
That is the best news I’ve heard this week. Mazel tov! ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/73 "2018-10-11T22:02:00Z")
Really fantastic news. ---
**Author:** ![Wolf333](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf333/32/3460_2.png) [@Wolf333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolf333)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/74 "2018-10-11T22:29:52Z")
Goods news. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/75 "2018-10-11T22:32:45Z")
That is terrific news. I’ve never seen a testicular fibrothecoma (they’re not uncommon in the ovary). Congrats, **Asimovian**. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2018, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/76 "2018-10-11T23:20:56Z")
Outstanding! Well done! ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/77 "2018-10-12T00:11:04Z")
Yay! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/78 "2018-10-12T00:20:07Z")
Very happy! Sorry for what you’ve been through, but I’m sure this must be a great relief. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/79 "2018-10-12T00:30:08Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > I feel a bit like I’ve been through an alien abduction. We’re saving that for the next Dopefest\*. 😉 Glad to hear the good news, and hope it’s not too much longer before you’re fully recovered from the surgery! \*Seriously, we should have one, one of these days. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/80 "2018-10-12T00:33:20Z")
Fracking awesome [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197.md?page=5)