# Well, I likely have cancer \[update: no, I don't\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2018, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197 "2018-09-12T00:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/81 "2018-10-12T00:43:34Z")
Terrific news. So happy for you. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/82 "2018-10-12T01:28:34Z")
Oh, good. That’s good news, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/83 "2018-10-12T04:25:52Z")
So great to hear!!! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/84 "2018-10-12T05:33:34Z")
Wonderful news. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/85 "2018-10-12T05:45:28Z")
(jumps up and down and throws confetti in the air) I’m so happy to read this! YOU DON’T HAVE CANCER and that’s the best news of all. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/86 "2018-10-12T05:59:23Z")
Well that’s good news. So who has the rights to your remarkable excised bollock? Will they preserve it in formaldehyde to be poked and inspected by thousands of medical students for generations to come? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/87 "2018-10-12T11:01:59Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Well that’s good news. So who has the rights to your remarkable excised bollock? Will they preserve it in formaldehyde to be poked and inspected by thousands of medical students for generations to come? Or they could give it back to you in a jar, so you could show it off like gallstones. Wonderful news by the way. I’m so happy for you. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/88 "2018-10-12T11:07:13Z")
The news could only have been better if they’d found a large diamond in there. Cool! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/89 "2018-10-12T11:13:49Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The news could only have been better if they’d found a large diamond in there. Cool! Considering the puckering going on recently, a diamond could be found nearby. Great news!!! ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/90 "2018-10-12T12:16:28Z")
Congratulations! _Now_ you should go buy that lottery ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/91 "2018-10-12T13:23:39Z")
I just did my Happy Dance dedicated to you, right in the library. Great news! ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/92 "2018-10-12T13:26:51Z")
Great news! StG ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/93 "2018-10-12T14:30:54Z")
Glad to hear it and I hope you feel better soon. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/94 "2018-10-12T15:35:54Z")
'Ip 'ip – 'urrah! 'Ip 'ip – 'urrah! 'Ip 'ip – _'urrah!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/95 "2018-10-12T15:37:51Z")
Cancelling gift order for pirate eye-patch boxers. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/96 "2018-10-12T15:53:49Z")
Wonderful to hear! ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/97 "2018-10-12T16:12:48Z")
Yay! Now you won’t have to start a GoFundMe drive. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/98 "2018-10-12T16:39:18Z")
Very solid. And, in the spirit of the Dope, you know _who else_ only had one ball? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/99 "2018-10-12T17:32:35Z")
Scottie Pippen? ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/100 "2018-10-12T18:47:18Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Cancelling gift order for pirate eye-patch boxers. Hey hey, now. THAT issue is still very much in play. Or are you just trading them out for something featuring Han[g] Solo? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197.md?page=6)