# Well, I likely have cancer \[update: no, I don't\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2018, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197 "2018-09-12T00:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/101 "2018-10-12T19:05:32Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Very solid. > > And, in the spirit of the Dope, you know _who else_ only had one ball? Lance Armstrong. Hold on, is he _more_ evil? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/102 "2018-10-12T19:10:51Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Like nothing ever happened, I guess. Other than being a testicle lighter than I used to be. The good news: cancer free - Yay!!! The bad news: your weight loss program will not likely make you rich. On the whole, net positive. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/103 "2018-10-12T19:11:58Z")
Congrats on the good news, Asmovian! ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/104 "2018-10-12T19:22:49Z")
Great news from a fellow Asimovian! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/105 "2018-10-12T19:49:31Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Hey hey, now. THAT issue is still very much in play. Or are you just trading them out for something featuring Han[g] Solo? Hmmmm…I still wish you the best, but just in case, would that be a right “eye” patch, or a left one? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/106 "2018-10-12T21:25:09Z")
Great news! Glad you’re OK (and out of the woods). ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/107 "2018-10-12T21:35:05Z")
congrats …. although one q if they would of figured it out before said jewel was removed would ya had to have it removed in the first place ? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/108 "2018-10-12T21:37:11Z")
Congrats!! If you’re gonna be the one-in-a-gazillion oddity, you definitely want it to be in this direction vs the other!! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2018, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/109 "2018-10-12T21:45:21Z")
> [@nightshadea](#): > > congrats …. although one q if they would of figured it out before said jewel was removed would ya had to have it removed in the first place ? Unfortunately, there isn’t any good way to tell without the actual removal. Apparently, testicular biopsies are not usually considered a worthwhile risk because the biopsy can actually cause cancer to spread. There are some cases where they can open the scrotum and do kind of a real-time analysis of the tumor, but my limited understanding is that the type of pathology they can do during the surgery isn’t incredibly reliable. Since a very, very large number of intratesticular tumors wind up being malignant (I believe the number I saw was greater than 95%), and since removal of the testicle and spermatic cord winds up being a cure for many cases of testicular cancer, especially when caught early, the radical orchiectomy is almost always recommended. In testicular cancer, much like nuking things from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197/110 "2018-10-13T18:44:59Z")
Surgery is never fun, but I’m glad to hear that you had such a positive outcome, **Asimovian**. Best of luck in a fast recovery. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-likely-have-cancer-update-no-i-dont/821197.md?page=5)