# Well I never! Rules for living... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392 "2003-10-19T18:05:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/21 "2003-10-20T06:52:42Z")
1. Never lose count \*3. Hi Opal! \*Delayed Entry ---
**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/22 "2003-10-20T06:58:55Z")
1. Never operate _ **ANY** _ cooking appliance while drunk. The burn on my arm from last wednesday says so! 2. Never say anthing to anyone about anyone else. (My #1 rule! Learned it the hard way!) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/23 "2003-10-20T07:13:35Z")
1. Never do anything while drunk which is preceded by the words, “Hey, watch this!” ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/24 "2003-10-20T07:57:53Z")
1. Never let **Tir** go without food at a DopeFest - she’ll bite your neck. 😉 2. Never travel back to Birmingham from London on the train after having been drinking, without lots and lots of water. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/25 "2003-10-20T08:54:13Z")
46: Never teach your kids how to use the computer. ---
**Author:** ![SirMuffinMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SirMuffinMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirMuffinMan)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/26 "2003-10-20T09:12:48Z")
1. **Never** wonder how the DVD player works. Don’t unscrew it, just leave it alone. Yes, even if it’s working. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/27 "2003-10-20T10:18:10Z")
1. Never butter bread BEFORE you toast it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/28 "2003-10-20T10:23:00Z")
1. **Never** go see a film just because Sean Connery’s in it. 2. **Never** rub your eyes whilst slicing onions or chili peppers. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/29 "2003-10-20T10:39:28Z")
1. Never question the sanity of your computer manager. ---
**Author:** ![Mellon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Mellon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/30 "2003-10-20T11:07:22Z")
1. **Never** fry bacon and/or eggs in the nude. 53 If you foolishly choose to ignore rule 52, **never** turn the eggs over by flipping them in the air pancake-style. (This was learned the hard way). ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/31 "2003-10-20T11:28:16Z")
1. **Never** believe that the cute bar hostess is really interested in you when drinking in a place that charges by the hour and encourages you to buy drinks for the hostesses. (although I know some who’ve had different experiences than I’ve had) 2. **Never** take your doctor’s word for it when he says nothing’s wrong, if his initial comment was “wow! I’ve never seen one like _that_ before!” I speak from personal experience on both of these. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/32 "2003-10-20T11:37:48Z")
1. Never forget rule 1. (Its a Pratchett reference. Virtual cookies for whoever gets it.) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/33 "2003-10-20T11:39:28Z")
1. **Never** dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/34 "2003-10-20T11:49:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*56. Never forget rule 1. > > (Its a Pratchett reference. Virtual cookies for whoever gets it.) \*\* _Thief of Time_. Hee hee. 1. **Never** perm your own hair. 2. **Never** walk on a soggy lawn in high heels. (And if you recognize _that_ reference, just keep it to yourself, 'kay?) ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/35 "2003-10-20T11:54:41Z")
1. **Never** take _all_ the advice in a rules for living thread. [sub]Go on, live a little . . . . [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/36 "2003-10-20T11:55:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gyrate \* > \*\*_Thief of Time_. Hee hee. > > Damn! Ah well, you get real cookies anyway. 😛 > > \*\* 1. Never drop your mobile phone into a hot steaming mug of tea. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/37 "2003-10-20T11:56:48Z")
1. **Never** not preview :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/38 "2003-10-20T12:02:11Z")
**62.** Never spit into the wind. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/39 "2003-10-20T12:22:14Z")
1. Never drink your tea with the spoon still in the mug. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/40 "2003-10-20T12:46:05Z")
**64. Never** look at yourself in the mirror after your 7th pint. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392.md?page=3)