# Well I never! Rules for living... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392 "2003-10-19T18:05:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/61 "2003-10-20T15:55:08Z")
74and a half: **Never** chase hamsters with a mallet, they bite back. _sucks wounded little finger_ ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/62 "2003-10-20T16:06:17Z")
75 **Never** let anyone tell you what to do. No matter how much you want to sleep with them. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/63 "2003-10-20T17:08:16Z")
1. **Never** forget that stopping the ball between your thighs still counts as a save. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/64 "2003-10-20T17:27:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tir Tinuviel_ > \*\*72. Never play a game which should be retitled “Stoopid Dumb-ass Addictive Card Game That I Cant Win At But Have To Keep Trying Anyway Just In Case And If On The Off-Chance I Do I Still Have To Have Another Go To Make SUre” \*\* Say hello to the past nine years of my life. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/65 "2003-10-20T17:30:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > \*\*75 **Never** let anyone tell you what to do. No matter how much you want to sleep with them. \*\* **Garius** , after reading how willing you were to accept **ianzin’s** suggestion [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=4132304#post4132304) of helping me carry various baked goods across London for the LonDope, is there something you’re trying to tell us? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/66 "2003-10-20T17:51:04Z")
1. Don’t pull the mask off the Lone Ranger. 2. Don’t mess around with **jjimm**. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/67 "2003-10-20T17:58:16Z")
1. After your seventh pint, do not test the maximum velocity of a shopping cart. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/68 "2003-10-20T18:08:02Z")
1. Do not ask for extra Jalapenos. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/69 "2003-10-20T18:09:30Z")
1. Always ask for extra Jalapenos. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/70 "2003-10-20T18:18:18Z")
1. Ignore rule 81 ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/71 "2003-10-20T21:01:04Z")
1. Ignore . . . 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/72 "2003-10-20T21:19:05Z")
**84. Never** assume people are gonna work out the rules… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![buzzie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@buzzie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buzzie)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/73 "2003-10-20T21:19:19Z")
1. Never sleep on wet hair. 2. Never tell your mother that she talks too much. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/74 "2003-10-21T16:58:04Z")
My father-in-law (gimme four and a half) says: 86. **Never** forget to turn off the mower before clearing the clog out of the chute! ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/75 "2003-10-21T17:07:35Z")
You **NEVER** run on a barge! (Thanks, Phoebe) ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/76 "2003-10-21T18:25:19Z")
1. Never try to shove butter up a porcupine’s backside with a red hot poker. 2. Good trailer doesn’t mean good movie. 3. In general, get drunk OR make decisions with long-term consequences. 4. If you meant to buy Coke, check you haven’t accidentally picked up Vanilla Coke by mistake BEFORE you pay and leave the shop. 5. Remember that this is not a dress rehearsal. This is IT. ---
**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/77 "2003-10-21T18:43:30Z")
1. **ALWAYS** leave after you’ve had seven pints and the ugly old man two seats down from you insists on buying you a drink. (Okay, it’s always instead of never, but I think I get a little leeway with this one! I DID leave!!! :-D) ---
**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/78 "2003-10-21T18:48:53Z")
(Leave WITHOUT taking the drink. Forgot that part!) ---
**Author:** ![nobrainer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nobrainer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nobrainer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/79 "2003-10-21T19:16:25Z")
1. Never pick your nose on a roller coaster. 2. Never mow the lawn bare-footed. 3. Never fart during a job interview. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/80 "2003-10-21T19:46:53Z")
1. **Never** push buttons until you know what they do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392.md?page=5)