# Well I never! Rules for living... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 19, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392 "2003-10-19T18:05:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/101 "2003-10-22T14:36:41Z")
1. **Never** bait a Northerner who might buy you a pint. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/102 "2003-10-22T15:11:52Z")
1. Never force a fart. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/103 "2003-10-22T15:15:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SciFiSam \* > \*\*122. **Never** bait a Northerner who might buy you a pint. \*\* Hah! A Yorkshireman buy someone else a pint?! 1. Never bring up old stereotypes like “Yorkshiremen are tight gits”. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/104 "2003-10-22T15:26:45Z")
1. **Never** get into a farting contest with a skunk. ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/105 "2003-10-22T15:28:48Z")
1. never let it be said that paul doesnt get his round in you crazy kids and your regional stereotypes ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/106 "2003-10-22T15:41:13Z")
1. **Never** forget Gaudere’s Law. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/107 "2003-10-22T15:51:10Z")
1. **Never** forget that computers are evil pieces of silicon which will be mean and nasty and horrible to you just as you have some work to get done quickly. 2. Addition to 126. **Never** forget that the day something important is due in, the computer systems _will_ collapse. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/108 "2003-10-22T15:57:39Z")
1. **Never** decline a beer if you’re working behind the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/109 "2003-10-22T16:36:16Z")
1. **Never** sit at your desk and dance. No matter how happy you are. You’re office mates _will_ think you’re strange. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/110 "2003-10-22T20:06:06Z")
1. Never care what your office mates think. If they don’t already know you’re strange, they soon will. ---
**Author:** ![criminalcatalog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@criminalcatalog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminalcatalog)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/111 "2003-10-22T21:10:46Z")
“ **Never** rub another man’s rhubarb.” Never impersonate a horse brush - it makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/112 "2003-10-22T21:44:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doebi \* > \*\*130. Never care what your office mates think. If they don’t already know you’re strange, they soon will. \*\* That’s _another_ rule I live my life by, along with the blue liquid thing and the following: 1. **Never** read anything by Piers Anthony. Life’s too short. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/113 "2003-10-23T07:32:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doebi \* > \*\*130. Never care what your office mates think. If they don’t already know you’re strange, they soon will. \*\* 1. Never forget that in an office full of astrophysicists, strange is a relative term. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/114 "2003-10-23T08:14:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*134. Never forget that in an office full of astrophysicists, strange is a relative term. \*\* 1. Never forget that in an office full of **Angua** , quietness is a relative term. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/115 "2003-10-23T08:19:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > \*\*135. Never forget that in an office full of **Angua** , quietness is a relative term. 😃 \*\* 1. Never forget the AnguaCookies™ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/116 "2003-10-23T08:21:21Z")
1. **Never** talk about Fight Club. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/117 "2003-10-23T08:26:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > \*\*135. Never forget that in an office full of **Angua** , quietness is a relative term. 😃 \*\* 😛 I thought I was rather quiet, by my standards, at the mini-LonDope. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/118 "2003-10-23T09:32:37Z")
Only because you had a mouthful of beer most of the time. 😉 1. **Never** feed cheese to your dog. Not only is it bad for dogs, but the doggie farts afterwards are just _lethal_. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/119 "2003-10-23T09:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gyrate \* > \*\*Only because you had a mouthful of beer most of the time. 😉 > \*\* **Gyrate** , you’re going to make me sound like some alcoholic astrophysicist. Which is not true, in the slightest. 1. **Never** believe that undergrad students will ever learn anything. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392/120 "2003-10-23T13:39:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gyrate \* > \*\*Only because you had a mouthful of beer most of the time. 😉 \*\* Or a mouthful of something else! Bwhahahaha! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gyrate \* > \*\*133. **Never** read anything by Piers Anthony. Life’s too short. \*\* I so agree, and I’m adding Robert Jordan to that too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-never-rules-for-living/208392.md?page=7)