### Author:  [@wahoo11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wahoo11)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/1 "2001-03-29T04:25:06Z")
I found the subjects interesting ,but the site speed and the arrogance of most posters is intolerable. Do y’all sit around all day masturbating,thinking why the world has left you behind,and wondering if you can meet your next soul mate at an SD bash in Toledo? Seriously …good luck. This isn’t my vision of life on earth.
One last thing before I go…fuck you Uncle Beer you nazi!
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### Author:  [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/2 "2001-03-29T04:40:12Z")
I think I speak for many of most of us:
\
Fenris
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### Author:  [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/3 "2001-03-29T04:54:47Z")
Wha who?
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### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/4 "2001-03-29T04:56:20Z")
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/5 "2001-03-29T05:10:16Z")
There’s a bash in Toledo? I missed that thread! Link?
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/6 "2001-03-29T05:26:33Z")
I’ve never been an arrogant mastubater, per se; more of your furtive, perhaps winsome variety. Golly, maybe if I had been more arrogant in my masturbation the world wouldn’t have left me behind. Thanks for the advice!
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### Author:  [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/7 "2001-03-29T06:41:13Z")
MMM…butterscotch pudding. I love butterscotch pudding.
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### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/8 "2001-03-29T08:16:15Z")
Personally, I’ve always viewed masturbation as an action of humility.
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### Author:  [@DippityDoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DippityDoo)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/9 "2001-03-29T08:26:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by friedo \*
> \*\*Personally, I’ve always viewed masturbation as an action of humility.
>
> \*\*
Only when yer half sister walks in when you gots a hollowed out bannana rapped around yer peter and you going at it. Reminds me of some twisted dream I had. It involved Jesus jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo doo hole and Garth Brooks was laying something that resembled and almond cheddar cheese log on Santa Claus’s tummy tum.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/10 "2001-03-29T09:06:49Z")
You poor, deluded soul. **UncleBeer** is a _Stalinist Fascist_, not a _Nazi_. **Alphagene** is the Nazi Mod. Myself, I’m the Red Khmer Mod. Any other questions before you depart, leaving us bereft of your knowledge and wisdom?
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### Author:  [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/11 "2001-03-29T10:29:44Z")
Um, I like peanuts?
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### Author:  [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/12 "2001-03-29T10:33:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by wahoo11 \*
> **This isn’t my vision of life on earth.**
Eh?
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### Author:  [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/13 "2001-03-29T14:09:04Z")
Um, I’m going for “furtive.”
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### Author:  [@Freedom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedom)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/14 "2001-03-29T14:11:00Z")
Ahh…
Coldfire, you’re just pissed Uncle Beer got a mention and he ignored you.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/15 "2001-03-29T14:20:34Z")
Freedom, I don’t think that ANY of us mods/admins will ever get over the fact that Coldfire was repeatedly called a “Dutch gnome” by peace. I know that it worries me just before I fall asleep each dawn. I’ve only recently been able to refrain from sobbing out loud at random times of the day, realizing that peace didn’t make up some pet name for ME.
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/16 "2001-03-29T14:43:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Do y’all sit around all day masturbating,thinking why the world has left you behind,and wondering if you can meet your next soul mate at an SD bash in Toledo?
Well, actually I do. But I told my doctor that the tendonitis in my wrist was from typing on the computer so much. He believed me! What a dolt!
Well, I’m off to surf the net and find a new “personal massager”. They just don’t make 'em like they used to, you know?
Zette 😉
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### Author:  [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/17 "2001-03-29T19:17:52Z")
And the Straight Dope is now a lesser place without **wahoo11**.
Wait a minute, no it isn’t. Who the hell was that little putz, anyway?
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/18 "2001-03-29T20:11:31Z")
That little putz was what I just shot out of my dick after furiously masturbating to Lynn’s post.
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/19 "2001-03-29T20:19:23Z")
Well I mean, come on. He did give it a try after all. A month…almost fifty posts.
if I had known I was supposed to be working to impress him, I’d have taken my top off.
jarbaby
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [March 29, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-i-tried/59928/20 "2001-03-29T20:42:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \*
> \*\*if I had known I was supposed to be working to impress him, I’d have taken my top off.
>
> jarbaby \*\*
By all means feel free to impress the rest of us 😉
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