# Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 31, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662 "2002-10-31T05:49:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/1 "2002-10-31T05:49:52Z")
If my sister buys a monkey. ---
**Author:** ![StPaul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58f4c7/32.png) [@StPaul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StPaul)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/2 "2002-10-31T06:03:27Z")
Your sister would give birth to the monkey or at least adopt it. Your sister having a monkey isn’t totally impossible. After all, Mary had a little lamb. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/3 "2002-10-31T06:37:49Z")
That’s nothing, my dog had fleas. CAN YOU DIG IT? ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/4 "2002-10-31T08:17:18Z")
Feh. **My** dog has no nose. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/5 "2002-10-31T08:20:37Z")
But… but… how does he smell? ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/6 "2002-10-31T09:07:53Z")
Terrible. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/7 "2002-10-31T10:51:37Z")
I should have seen that one coming. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/8 "2002-10-31T21:26:33Z")
Did I miss the memo about making MPSIMS _more_ mundane and pointless? Is it brass? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/9 "2002-10-31T21:35:48Z")
A munkle? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/10 "2002-10-31T21:57:07Z")
Oh, don’t be silly! Whoever heard of a brass munkle! ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/11 "2002-10-31T22:00:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by StPaul \* > \*\*After all, Mary had a little lamb. \*\* Mary had a little sheep And with the sheep She went to sleep The sheep turned out To be a ram Mary had a little lamb. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/12 "2002-11-01T04:11:32Z")
That’s just horrid. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/13 "2002-11-01T05:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*That’s just horrid. \*\* O-ka-a-a-y, how about: Mary had a little lamb I’m sure you’ve heard before But did you hear she passed her plate And asked for a little more? DD ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/14 "2002-11-01T15:51:23Z")
Within 15 replies, we’ve got horrible puns, dirty poetry, and bestiality. Sounds like the right type of thread for a Friday morning. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/15 "2002-11-01T16:15:09Z")
Mary had a little lamb, A lobster and some prunes; A little pie, a little milk With chocolate macaroons. It made the snooty waiters laugh To see her order so, And when they carried Mary out Her face was white as snow Grim [sup]Since someone started…[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/16 "2002-11-01T16:33:06Z")
I knew a Mary got a monkey I thought you ought to know. From then on her apartment stunkey Okay…okay…I’ll go. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/17 "2002-11-01T16:36:40Z")
Mary had a little lamb … so her father shot the shepherd. ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ill-be-a-monkeys-uncle/134662/18 "2002-11-01T17:08:59Z")
Mary had a little lamb His feet were black as soot And everywhere that Mary went His sooty foot he put