### Author:  [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)
#### Post date: [October 19, 2019, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/1 "2019-10-19T23:43:53Z")
## I’ve been on the road for a little while, but finally back from travel. I took a few minutes to sign into my email account, and What Ho! **FINALLY** , the invitation I had been patiently waiting for:
From: Ina Jolman \
To: Tripler \<[triplerSDMB]@hotmail.com\>
Sent: Saturday, October 19, 2019 12:46 PM
Subject: Join the illuminati.
\*
Greetings, from The illuminati world elite empire. Bringing the poor, the needy and the talented to limelight of fame, riches, powers and security, get recognized in your business, political race, rise to the top in whatever you do, be protected spiritually and physically! All these you will achieve in a twinkle of an eye when you get initiated to the great Illuminati empire. Once you are initiated to the illuminati empire you will get numerous benefits and reward.
Note: that this email message was created solely for the purpose of our recruitment scheme which will end next month and this offer is for unique ones only, if you are not serious on joining the illuminati empire, then you are advise not to contact us at all. This is because disloyalty is highly not tolerated here in our organization. Do you agree to be a member of the illuminati new world order? If YES!. Then kindly reply us back on our direct recruitment email only at: joinilluminati@[wazzup].com
Please note, Kindly make sure all your response are send directly to the email stated above only at:\> joinilluminati@[wazzup].com For more instructions on our membership process.
Note: Some email providers incorrectly place official Illuminati messages in their spam / junk folder or promotion folder. This can divert and exclude our responses to your emails.
## The Illuminati.\*
I wanted to share this all with you, to prove to you that the Illuminati is _ **REAL** _, and they’re _hiring_. Obviously, since it was not in my Spam mailbox, this is a genuine offer from a real person. And now we see just how exclusive joining the Illuminati is!! That being said, if someone else does get a similar recruitment email, let me know, and we’ll coordinate schedules so we can take same Illuminati corporate jet, and save them a couple of bucks.
Be nice to me, and I will protect you spiritually and physically, because disloyalty is highly not tolerated here.
Tripler
One of the unique ones.
---
### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/2 "2019-10-20T01:24:58Z")
Probably have better parties than the Bilderberg Group. Jeez, they are kinda lame.
---
### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/3 "2019-10-20T01:55:39Z")
Hey Trips! I always knew you were Illuminati material.
---
### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/4 "2019-10-20T03:05:45Z")
As long as you’re there, could you pull a few strings and get everyone to lower the amount of political bizarrity around the world? We’ve got real problems we need to work on!
---
### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/5 "2019-10-20T03:08:41Z")
That’s the same type of scam that the Trilateral Commission tried to pull on me! Beware when they try to get you to enroll in Illuminati University.
---
### Author:  [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/6 "2019-10-20T03:13:25Z")
Silly me. I wonder how much membership fees are gonna cost.
And golly. I wonder if the Illuminati recruiters just so happen to live in, maybe, Nigeria? Hmmm?
~VOW
---
### Author:  [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/7 "2019-10-20T03:24:38Z")
And, here I thought you had to be born into the illuminati. My hope is restored. Thx for posting.😉
---
### Author:  [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/8 "2019-10-20T03:26:19Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#):
>
> And, here I thought you had to be born into the illuminati. My hope is restored.
Only if you are born in Nigeria…
~VOW
---
### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/9 "2019-10-20T03:37:37Z")
They must be struggling at the moment. back in 2017 they had offers like this :
[https://www.economist.com/node/21718931/comments?page=6](https://www.economist.com/node/21718931/comments?page=6)
which included premiums such as:
> [@](#):
>
> a total lifestyle change
> access to bohemian grove
> monthly payment of $1,000,000 usd into your bank account every month as a member
> one month booked appointment with top 5 world leaders and top 5 celebrities in the world.
---
### Author:  [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/10 "2019-10-20T04:11:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> monthly payment of $1,000,000 usd into your bank account every month as a member
> one month booked appointment with top 5 world leaders and top 5 celebrities in the world.
I might consider joining the Illuminati and committing to this, but there are a couple of things that make me a little nervous. A “monthly payment of $1,000,000” sounds terrific, but having to emphasize that the monthly payment will be “every month” is a bit skeevy. A monthly payment that doesn’t necessarily automatically happen every month makes my spidey-senses tingle. The Illuminati, for all their secret powers, seem deficient in the ability to express themselves clearly in the English language. What if my “monthly payment” only comes in once every few years, then what, huh? And suppose I have financial commitments to hookers and suppliers of blow and Ferrari dealerships demanding their due?
And this bullshit about keeping appointments with the “top 5 world leaders and top 5 celebrities in the world”? Is that mandatory, or what? What the fuck do they want from me? What if I’m happy to have the top 5 world leaders and top 5 celebrities in the world entertain themselves and just leave me the fuck alone and have the Illuminati just send me the dough? Can I do that?
---
### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/11 "2019-10-20T04:27:05Z")
It’s a brave man that speaks ill of the Illuminati.
---
### Author:  [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/12 "2019-10-20T04:36:26Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#):
>
> They must be struggling at the moment. back in 2017 they had offers like this :
>
> [https://www.economist.com/node/21718931/comments?page=6](https://www.economist.com/node/21718931/comments?page=6)
>
> which included premiums such as:
The Bohemian Grove grounds are really very pretty. As are most places on the lower Russian River in California. I didn’t get out of the canoe, but it and the nearby Korbel vineyards were really quite scenic and placid.
That perk of membership, I’d enjoy using.
---
### Author:  [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/13 "2019-10-20T04:42:20Z")
Membership has it’s benefits.
---
### Author:  [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/14 "2019-10-20T05:20:04Z")
Oh, dear, I’ve read the fine print a bit more carefully, and I don’t qualify:
“DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS, call +2348079938457 MR nathan, Are you in Nigeria, USA, or anywhere in the world, are you a Businessman or woman , politician, musician,or student and you desired to be rich, famous, and powerful in life.”
According to my reading, this offer seems to be addressed exclusively to Mr Nathan (or possibly, MR nathan), whether he’s in Nigeria or anywhere else in the world, and is not open to the rest of us. Shit! And now I notice that I wouldn’t even have to commit to that Ferrari, since in addition to the million a month, I would also have got some sort of generic "new sleek dream car valued at ‘usd $120,000 usd’ ". That wouldn’t be a Ferrari, though. At “usd $120,000 usd” that would probably be a Tesla Model S Tesla. From Tesla.
---
### Author:  [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)
#### Post date: [October 20, 2019, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/15 "2019-10-20T10:53:10Z")
Congratulations. I’m in Phase 3 of the process now. Bring gloves and eye pro to the interview, trust me!
---
### Author:  [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2019, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/16 "2019-10-21T09:29:28Z")
> [@wolfpup](#):
>
> in addition to the million a month, a.
But it’s not a million a month…you have to specify that you deserve million a month per month.
Otherwise you might get scammed.
---
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2019, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/17 "2019-10-21T19:40:58Z")
> [@chappachula](#):
>
> But it’s not a million a month…you have to specify that you deserve million a month per month.
> Otherwise you might get scammed.
We wouldn’t want that.
---
### Author:  [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2019, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/18 "2019-10-21T20:54:25Z")
The Illuminati? _Those_ weenies? I guess it’s something.
I’d invite you to Majestic 12, but we don’t currently have any openings (Vannevar Bush’s cryochamber is still sputtering along). Still, stop by Area 51 sometime for a coffee. Those Grays can really make a mean cup of joe.
---
### Author:  [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2019, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/19 "2019-10-21T21:06:33Z")
Hmm…“tripler” or “Triple-R”…Triple is three, three corners to a triangle, which is the 2-D representation of a pyramid. And…the “R”…obviously stands for the first Illuminati Master, **R** adl.
Now we know how they found you: Illuminati confirmed! :eek:
---
### Author:  [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2019, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020/20 "2019-10-21T22:08:37Z")
I would do it. What have you got to lose?
I’m betting the application process is quite simple; they probably just need your social security number and maybe some bank routing information. Go for it!
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-its-about-damn-time-my-genius-was-recognized-round-these-parts/842020.md?page=2)