# Well, Looks Like This May Be One Of My Final Posts Here... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567 "2007-08-14T16:19:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/61 "2007-08-15T00:56:24Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] **Hal** has a boyfriend named Hal? That’s got to be confusing. [/QUOTE] Does **Hal** ’s wife know about this? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/62 "2007-08-15T12:10:50Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] What’s the deal, why are all of your smiley spiders club footed? Here is what they should look like. }} 😃 {{ [/QUOTE] Well acually they should look like this: }}}} 😃 {{{{. Hal, just buy youself a pig and name the spider Charlotte and you’ve got yourself a charming children’s story. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/63 "2007-08-15T12:36:57Z")
I’m laughing way too hard for the office. Thank you 😃 ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/64 "2007-08-15T12:39:52Z")
Why does this thread make me want to go out and rent [this movie](http://eightleggedfreaks.warnerbros.com/)? Must be my masochistic streak. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/65 "2007-08-15T13:58:01Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] And now there is an eight-legged deathbringer, **roughly the size of Buick** [/QUOTE] You know, at first I thought **Hal** was saying the spider was as big as a car…but on a second reading, it’s _as big as the company_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/66 "2007-08-15T14:34:45Z")
[QUOTE=supervenusfreak] Why does this thread make me want to go out and rent [this movie](http://eightleggedfreaks.warnerbros.com/)? Must be my masochistic streak. 😃 [/QUOTE] I love the cat chasing the spideys inside the walls scene. Classic I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/67 "2007-08-15T23:17:57Z")
[QUOTE=Zabali\_Clawbane] [Here](http://img61.imageshack.us/my.php?image=laserschargedtargetaquijr3.jpg), I don’t remember where I got this lolcat from, I thought it was from [I Can Has Cheezburger?](http://icanhascheezburger.com/), but I’m not finding it on searches there. [/QUOTE] Thanks for the picture - I’m glad I looked at it sitting down. {{ :eek: }} If I ever have a spider on my ceiling that big, I might have to move to another house. If this was a perfect world, spiders would never get big enough for me to see actual definition on them - just tiny little blobs. Or they would never come in the house - one or the other. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/68 "2007-08-16T00:21:54Z")
I’m gonna miss **Hal**. Because rest assured, that spider will be back. I know. Years ago I came into the bedroom of the apartment I was then living in and saw an outsize spider on the wall over the radiator. It got away from me (had a radiator to hide behind, radiator pipe holes to crawl into, all the advantages). I figured it was gone. More fool me. The following week–yes, week–I was lying in bed drifting off to sleep when I felt a sharp pain in my elbow. It was summer; I thought “Damn mosquito”. But it didn’t feel like a mosquito bite–too much burn, not enough itch or swelling. So I thought “Damn, I’m awake now, might as well get up, turn on the light, inspect my elbow and who knows, maybe I’ll find the mosquito and kill it.” So I got up and turned on the light. No mosquito. Big damn spider running across my bed. Try getting back to sleep after THAT, people. Just try. Of course I didn’t try for quite a while–I was busy. Destroying the spider, inspecting my elbow in the mirror (welt, two fang punctures, pain really disproportionate to the bite), and rummaging my reference books to see if any had a PICTURE of a brown recluse (descriptions were no good; they went on about a violin-shaped marking on the back, which is no use when you’ve beaten the spider so severely it’s no longer clear which side is up) so I could rule out that possibility, all took some time. Eventually I decided if it WAS a brown recluse I’d know soon enough when my elbow started rotting off, and in the meantime I might as well go back to bed. It wasn’t a brown recluse and I still have two intact elbows. But I learned. Spiders are like tyrants: If you’re going to attack one, you HAVE to kill. If you can’t kill it, better to leave it alone than risk its wrath. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/69 "2007-08-16T01:17:04Z")
Yeah, the whole family made it through night. I have a feeling he’s just gathering reinforcements. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/70 "2007-08-16T02:48:34Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] Godspeed to you all…I’ll miss you. [/QUOTE] Just sacrifice a sheep to it every Friday night. It will stay full and content in one place. But if you run out of sheep, better have a small child handy. Wait a minute, that didn’t come out the way I intended. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/71 "2007-08-16T06:59:05Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] Hey, waitaminute! It may be a bit of a shady loophole, but now that I think back, I promised that I wouldn’t try and kill bug with a [can of \*Pledge](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=426750)\* and a lighter! I don’t think I ever said a thing about WD-40! Damn…if only I’d remembered that at the time… [/QUOTE] We used to do that in gym class with aerosol deodorant shooting fire… not the killing spiders thingie. I’m thinking hair spray would make the hottest weapon. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/72 "2007-08-16T07:03:51Z")
The last time I saw a huge spider, was before we moved. It was using the dog’s water dish as a spa, I believe. When I found it, I burst into tears, screaming, shaking…in other words, I turned into a blubbering idiot. I had never seen a spider THAT large before. Not even on the Discovery Channel. I was screaming for my daughter to get the shotgun, so I could kill the damn thing. She refused (Damned teenagers these days). She DID gather it up into a jar, which meant she had to actually leave my side to go search for a damned jar, which just made me even more manic, which was NOT a good thing! I had to stand there, in my manic state, getting worse and worse by the second. I HAD to stay there, just to be sure it didn’t gallop off to hide somewhere. It got a good look at me, and I KNOW it knew what I looked like, and would come back for me at a later date if it wasn’t killed/captured right then. She proceeded to ‘save’ the damned thing, to show the Bug Man, when he came around to spray the next time. It was a wolf spider, he said. He actually kept the damn thing, so he could show his boss. He’d never seen one that big, either. Damn, those things get big. Damned spiders. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/73 "2007-08-16T07:57:52Z")
I notice that we’ve been having a larger number of spider related threads. This is not helping my general level of anxiety. I relax on this board by indulging in cat related posts dammit. Timeouts aren’t the only thing broken around here recently! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/74 "2007-08-16T14:17:17Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] I notice that we’ve been having a larger number of spider related threads. [/QUOTE] Wait till the spiders start creating _their own_ threads. ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/75 "2007-08-16T15:31:47Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] I notice that we’ve been having a larger number of spider related threads. This is not helping my general level of anxiety. I relax on this board by indulging in cat related posts dammit. Timeouts aren’t the only thing broken around here recently! [/QUOTE] Yeah, sorry about that! Since my pit thread, I haven’t seen one though (not even the linked ones. Do I look stupid?). ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/76 "2007-08-16T15:53:29Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] Yeah, the whole family made it through night. I have a feeling he’s just gathering reinforcements. [/QUOTE] Why am I picturing a sheep, missing its front left hoof, standing in Hal’s closet and attaching a chainsaw to the bloody stump as well strapping a double barrelled shotgun onto its back? "Along came a spider that sat down beside her when… _chainsaw whine_ _Boom!_ … time for new furniture." :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/77 "2007-08-16T16:19:40Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Wait till the spiders start creating _their own_ threads. [/QUOTE] They seem well built for that, don’t they? I have a nice Orb Spinner outside one of my windows. She is making her own threads in quite the beautiful fashion. As far as Giant Spiders inside the house, I recommend getting hold of an ancient blade made is Gondolin. Think Sting. Jim ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/78 "2007-08-16T18:28:25Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] They seem well built for that, don’t they? I have a nice Orb Spinner outside one of my windows. She is making her own threads in quite the beautiful fashion. As far as Giant Spiders inside the house, I recommend getting hold of an ancient blade made is Gondolin. Think Sting. Jim [/QUOTE] That, or a really,_really_ big newspaper. The Sunday NY Times for example. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/79 "2007-08-16T18:33:51Z")
[QUOTE=ryobserver] I\The following week–yes, week–I was lying in bed drifting off to sleep when I felt a sharp pain in my elbow. It was summer; I thought “Damn mosquito”. But it didn’t feel like a mosquito bite–too much burn, not enough itch or swelling. So I thought “Damn, I’m awake now, might as well get up, turn on the light, inspect my elbow and who knows, maybe I’ll find the mosquito and kill it.” So I got up and turned on the light. No mosquito. Big damn spider running across my bed. \ [/QUOTE] :eek: :eek: :eek: Why am I still reading this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567/80 "2007-08-17T17:23:57Z")
Update: The bastard foolishly showed himself again, in the same damn spot. But this time I was ready, armed with several paper towels and, more importantly, a footstool. \ Victory is mine! Death to the arachnid invaders! Note: There will be no talk of this being a different spider. This was _the one_…I know it…I could see eight different kinds of vengeance in his eyes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-looks-like-this-may-be-one-of-my-final-posts-here/415567.md?page=5)