# Well, my father's dying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015 "2003-04-11T12:45:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/1 "2003-04-11T12:45:48Z")
My dad was diagnosed about 2 years ago with emphysemia. We knew when he wouldn’t give up smoking that his time was limited. Then, a year ago, doctors found cancer in his left leg and amputated it just above the knee. My sister called me yesterday, saying apparently they didn’t get all the cancer. Now it’s all through his body. He has maybe a month to live. We’ve known this was coming. He’s already made and paid for all arrangements, but it’s still very sad. Please keep us in your good thoughts, prayers, etc. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/2 "2003-04-11T12:48:38Z")
Wow, that’s very tough **norinew**. My thoughts and prayers are most definitely with you and your family. My father died three years ago of pancreatic cancer, so I know what you’re going through. I hope for the best. ---
**Author:** ![Siemsi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Siemsi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siemsi)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/3 "2003-04-11T12:54:59Z")
((((((((((((hugs & prayers)))))))))))) I’m so sorry to hear this. Please know you are not alone and you and your father/family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Try and hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/4 "2003-04-11T12:59:48Z")
I’m so sorry, **norinew**. We’re here for you. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/5 "2003-04-11T14:43:21Z")
My deepest condolences, and sincere empathy for your situation. May his passing be peaceful for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/6 "2003-04-11T15:02:09Z")
I’m so sorry. Positive thoughts coming your way. Ava ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/7 "2003-04-11T15:13:01Z")
Hey, thanks you guys. I appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/8 "2003-04-11T15:13:38Z")
That is a very deep sadness and nothing that I say will make it easier for you - but none-the-less, know that you are in my thoughts. My own father has had heart and lung problems for over a year. Every time the phone rings now at night I cringe, thinking “this is the one.” Every quarter or so Mom calls and says “Get here, he won’t last the night.” But somehow he has so far. But it is a matter of time. Sending warm thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/9 "2003-04-11T15:36:39Z")
One of the hardest things about it for me, is the thought that I will never see him again. He lives in Florida. We were down to visit last June, but won’t be going back down until I don’t know when. Money, and obligations to my kids prevent me from going down by myself at this time. I will be calling him, though. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/10 "2003-04-11T18:13:57Z")
Best wishes, **norinew** – we’re thinking good thoughts in your direction. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/11 "2003-04-11T18:18:28Z")
If you change your mind about going to visit him, **norinew,** you probably won’t regret it. When I got the call that my dad, who was dying of Parkinson’s, had had a stroke and could no longer swallow and it was only a matter of days, I decided to just get on the first plane the next morning, leaving a job I’d been at for all off three weeks, figuring that if they fired me, I didn’t want to work there anyway. I will never forget the smile that lit up my dad’s face when I walked in the room. Please know I’m thinking about you and your family as you go through this most difficult time. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/12 "2003-04-11T18:30:32Z")
I’m so sorry. Best wished heading your way. -tool ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/13 "2003-04-11T18:31:55Z")
I’m sorry that you and your family have to go through this, **norinew**. My grandfather died of problems associated with senile dementia this past November. He was hospitalized on and off from that September onward, almost passing on a couple times. Knowing ahead of time that the end was coming made it a little more bearable, but it certainly didn’t take the pain away. My thoughts are with you and your entire family. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/14 "2003-04-11T19:09:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by butrscotch_ > If you change your mind about going to visit him, norinew, you probably won’t regret it. It doesn’t look like I’ll have the time to change my mind. I was going to talk to my hubby about it this evening, when he got home from work, as two of my sisters are going down in two weeks, and I was wondering about the possiblity of going along. But the hospice nurse called a few hours ago, and says she doesn’t think he’s going to make it through the next 24 hours. I called him, and talked to him, and he said he wants to go; “well, I’ll be going,” he said, “and I won’t be back.” He also said he was “good, emotionally.” So, he’s ready. He’s comfortable. That’s my main concern right now. I’m glad I got to say goodbye. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/15 "2003-04-11T22:10:18Z")
That’s really important for you. Please take good care of yourself! ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/16 "2003-04-11T22:16:22Z")
I’m so sorry **norinew**. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/17 "2003-04-11T23:54:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by norinew \* > \*\*\I called him, and talked to him, and he said he wants to go; “well, I’ll be going,” he said, “and I won’t be back.” He also said he was “good, emotionally.” So, he’s ready. He’s comfortable. That’s my main concern right now. I’m glad I got to say goodbye. \*\* I didn’t read your first post closely enough. Dad also has emphysemia and so I know exactly where you are. I am SO very glad to hear your father is in good spirits. One of the worst moments of my life was when my dad looked into my eyes and said: “I’m scared.” It broke my heart but I had to look him in the eyes and say that there was nothing to fear. I didn’t lie. I believe there is nothing to fear. But it was killing me to see dad this way. My thoughts are close with you, be well. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/18 "2003-04-12T00:27:40Z")
I’m really sorry, **norinew**. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/19 "2003-04-12T02:46:24Z")
My BIL called less than an hour ago to say that dad has been unconscious and unresponsive for several hours. Some close friends are with him, as is a specific clergy-person he requested. We are expecting it to be any time now. Thanks for the support. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/20 "2003-04-12T03:04:59Z")
I’m sorry, norinew. May he pass away in peace. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015.md?page=2)