# Well, my father's dying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015 "2003-04-11T12:45:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/21 "2003-04-12T03:08:41Z")
My condolences and support to you and your loved ones in this difficult time, **norinew**. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/22 "2003-04-12T03:20:32Z")
**norinew** , I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/23 "2003-04-12T03:31:41Z")
I, too, lost my father to emphysema about 18 months ago. It’s a helluva way to die, **norinew** , but it’s even a worse way to live. God willing, he goes peacefully and you can take great solace in the knowledge that where he is going, he’ll never have to struggle for his next breath again. My heart goes out to you and your family. If you need someone to lean on, my addy’s in my profile. Be well. ---
**Author:** ![ninevah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@ninevah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninevah)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/24 "2003-04-12T04:02:51Z")
My heart goes out to you, **norinew**. I know exactly what you’re going through. My family has suffered two heavy blows already this year - my maternal grandfather passed away suddenly - no illness, nothing. He was 85 years old. Then, 2 weeks ago, my beloved Nanna (my maternal grandmother) had a massive heart attack. She was taken to hospital, and all of her 4 daughters (and their families) rushed up to their hometown in country Victoria. I rushed from work, straight up there. She clung on, and fought desperately but there was nothing we could do. She passed away 2 weeks ago this evening. She was 80. As I write this, I have a lump in my throat and my eyes are welling. Losing someone so close and so dear to you is incredibly hard. But, I know, the grief will dissipate and you will smile again. It will take a very long time, but you will get through this. And remember, your father may pass away physically, but he will never leave you. He will always be with you. My best wishes and prayers go out to you. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/25 "2003-04-12T04:04:42Z")
I’m so sorry, **norinew**. May your father find peace. ---
**Author:** ![Spooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Spooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spooky)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/26 "2003-04-12T04:07:28Z")
My heart goes out to you. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/27 "2003-04-12T05:24:15Z")
May your love for your father live on forever. My wish for you and your family is to find some peace and resolution during this difficult time. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/28 "2003-04-12T05:29:47Z")
The doctors told my mother she had maybe a month to live. That was two years ago. Not that it has made us appreciate every day just that much more. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/29 "2003-04-12T05:33:32Z")
I haven’t got a clue what you’re going through, **norinew,** but I’m very sorry. I hope your father goes peacefully. Cling to your loved ones, and do whatever feels right to remember him by. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/30 "2003-04-12T13:05:09Z")
**norinew** , I am so glad to hear that you and your father had the courage to say goodbye. I have had to do that more than once and although it was hard at the time, those moments live in my memory as warm, bright spots of love. May that be the same for you in time. I hope for peace for you, your father, and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/31 "2003-04-12T13:20:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruby \* > \*\*I, too, lost my father to emphysema about 18 months ago. It’s a helluva way to die, **norinew** , but it’s even a worse way to live. God willing, he goes peacefully and you can take great solace in the knowledge that where he is going, he’ll never have to struggle for his next breath again. > > My heart goes out to you and your family. If you need someone to lean on, my addy’s in my profile. > > Be well. \*\* Ruby you hit it right on the head. It is painful to watch as he struggles for his next breath, and it IS a very bad way to live. Another very close friend passed from lung cancer. That too was painful to watch. Whenever I can, I try to gently encourage people to give up smoking. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/32 "2003-04-12T13:52:15Z")
You and your family are in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/33 "2003-04-13T11:06:39Z")
OK. Let me explain something. I live in western Maryland, about 175 miles west of Baltimore. All 4 of my sisters, and their assorted children and grandchildren live in the Baltimore area. Yesterday, April 12th, we were all gathered at one of my neices’ homes for a bridal shower for another neice. The party was lovely. It was over. Guests were leaving, even one of my sisters had left. We got the call that my father had passed away. Peacefully. No pain. I’m glad I was with my sisters and other family when the call came. Hubby was at home with my younger two daughters, oldest daughter, being 15, had been invited to the shower. We all ended up gathering at neices’ house. One of my sisters invited us to spend the night at her house if I didn’t feel up to driving home. So, here I am at sisters’ puter, tell you all this. It’s strange that 2 days ago, we thought he had a month, but he went so quickly. A blessing, I guess. We have planned his memorial service (he’s being cremated down there, 2 sisters are going right after Easter to retrieve the ashes). We’ll put some of his ashes on my mothers’ grave, and divide the rest up between the five of us. Thank you all for your kind words. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/34 "2003-04-13T15:33:57Z")
I’m sorry for your family’s loss, but I’m glad that y’all can being the grieving and healing process. I’ll be thinking of you. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015/35 "2003-04-13T16:08:37Z")
My thoughts are still with you norinew. Know that he is at peace. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-my-fathers-dying/168015.md?page=1)