# Well, ok, Cancer it is then. Sigh. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2006, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340 "2006-03-29T02:05:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/61 "2006-05-10T17:53:40Z")
YAY!!! Terrific news! I am so happy for your MIL **picunurse**. MY thoughts and prayers remain with her for a full and speedy recovery. FIL, hubby and you are also in my thoughts and prayers. I’m sure there’s still lots of support and caregiving to be done. I say you deserve to be taken out to dinner. Every night. For a month. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/62 "2006-05-10T17:57:07Z")
I am so glad there is good news! You were right that your FIL needed a target and chose to vent his frustrations at his wife’s disease and his inability to do anything about it, all on you. Just because you have 40 years in ICU doesn’t mean you are not still wet behind the ears, you whippersnapper! You know these kinda things, but he didn’t want to hear what you knew. He just wants you to say what he can handle: It will all be better in a little while. Everything will be ok. (naturally, he won’t believe that either, but hey, as an in law, you will never win. That’s half the fun!) When you are finished tidying up your house, come over to mine. There are feral dog hair tumbleweeds threatening a takeover. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/63 "2006-05-10T20:15:21Z")
Oh my god! **picunurse**!! HOORAY! I am so so so sooooooo glad to hear this! I’ve been trying to get my stupid, stupid, stupid email to work for the past couple of weeks (apparently beta testing wasn’t such a hot idea for my piece of crapola computer - and boy is my mother ripping mad that she can’t contact me through email… I got my ear chewed off on the phone for that one :mad: ) and I’ve got the husband working on it, I wanted to give you a call and find out how you were doing. I’m so sorry I haven’t yet, and I will write your number down this time!! But I am so happy to hear this news! I’ve been thinking of you and your family, sending out good vibes and all that good stuff. Wonderful news! And terrible the things your FIL said, but as you said, it must just have been the stress. How terrible. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, sweetheart. Not so I could tear him a new one, I _guess_ that wouldn’t be fair, but so you could have at least had a shoulder to cry on. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/64 "2006-05-10T23:02:37Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Oh my god! **picunurse**!! HOORAY! I am so so so sooooooo glad to hear this! I’ve been trying to get my stupid, stupid, stupid email to work for the past couple of weeks (apparently beta testing wasn’t such a hot idea for my piece of crapola computer - and boy is my mother ripping mad that she can’t contact me through email… I got my ear chewed off on the phone for that one :mad: ) and I’ve got the husband working on it, I wanted to give you a call and find out how you were doing. I’m so sorry I haven’t yet, and I will write your number down this time!! But I am so happy to hear this news! I’ve been thinking of you and your family, sending out good vibes and all that good stuff. > > Wonderful news! > And terrible the things your FIL said, but as you said, it must just have been the stress. How terrible. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, sweetheart. Not so I could tear him a new one, I _guess_ that wouldn’t be fair, but so you could have at least had a shoulder to cry on. Thank you! I feel so much calmer today. FIL has been at the hospital all day, I got my house clean. I got the mattress pad I’d ordered from [Overstock.com](http://Overstock.com), so I washed all my bedding so I’ll have a fresh, crisp bed to drop into tonight. (my 600 count sheets won’t get here until the 15th) You can still call, if you want, I’ll e-mail my # again, maybe it will get through. It would be nice to talk to someone who doesn’t want me to do something for them or take care of them. . (Yes, I am still a little snarky.) **Shirley Ujest** , sorry about your feral tumbleweeds. Hubby sucked up a few from under our bed today. He came home to help. He vacuumed and mopped, while I did the dishes, and laundry and made the beds. Also he has decreed we are having leftovers tonight, and Pop can suck an egg, if he doesn’t like it. (Hubby’s words, not mine. Our house looks ok again, and that helps my psyche as much as Mom doing well. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/65 "2006-05-11T02:27:03Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > My MIL is a wonderful woman. My husband idolizes her. I think of her as a second mother, myself. > He just went out for a drive, so I have a few minutes for my own tears. > Thanks for listening. > M. Our thoughts and prayers go to all three of you. Especially you as you will have the hardest task-helping others cope. If there is anything we can do, we want to help. God bless ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/66 "2006-05-13T04:15:13Z")
We’ve had quite a set back. Mom’s in ICU. She has a fever and her level of consciousness has gone down. They’ve cultured everything. They took out her epidural catheter today, and they’re doing a spinal tap. They did dopler studies of her legs; no clots. They took her off all pain meds, to see if she’d wake up at all, but not much change. I took Pop in this morning and let Hubby sleep. Hubby’s brother is going to take him in tonight and Hubby will follow them. I’m staying home to regroup. Yesterday I make cookies for the nursing staff; big hit. Of course, she’s on a different unit now, so, I guess I’ll make more tomorrow. I tried to get a nap this afternoon, but, the phone has been ringing every few minutes all day. Mom’s sister and BIL are arriving tomorrow. I guess, that means more work. I’m not really tired, but keeping the gloom out of my voice isn’t easy. Religion isn’t really my thing, but the only thing left I can think of to do is pray. Again, thanks for the gentle ears. M ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/67 "2006-05-13T04:17:31Z")
Praying. Lots of prayers headed out, plus snuggles from the kitty on my lap. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Denis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5e9695/32.png) [@Denis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Denis)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/68 "2006-05-13T04:19:51Z")
I’m thinking about you and yours, **picnurse**. Best of luck to you and vent all you need on the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/69 "2006-05-13T04:24:55Z")
thinking of you! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/70 "2006-05-13T10:30:53Z")
So sorry to read the update. Prayers and good thoughts for your MIL, you, and all your family. GT ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/71 "2006-05-13T12:14:09Z")
So sorry to hear about the setback! I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/72 "2006-05-13T13:39:58Z")
**picunurse,** I’m so sorry to read all of this. I was gone in DC until yesterday, so I’m just catching up. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please take care of yourself as well. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/73 "2006-05-13T21:50:17Z")
Well. I don’t know what made the difference, the antibiotics, taking out the epidural, or just the kind thought and prayers, but Mom is much better today. She’s awake, and talking. The nurse even called here this morning to let her talk to Pop. Hubby just got back from the hospital. He’s so relieved. They will probably transfer her back to the floor later today, and she may be ready for discharge by the middle of next week. As I said, I don’t know what turn the tide, but I have to believe all of your kind thoughts had a hand. 🙂 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/74 "2006-05-13T22:10:02Z")
That’s wonderful news! I’m so glad. Good thoughts and prayers still heading your all’s way… GT ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/75 "2006-05-13T22:37:51Z")
Wonderful news! So glad to hear it! ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/76 "2006-05-14T05:42:19Z")
That is really great news! I’m so glad to hear it! I’ll continue to send best wishes and thoughts to you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/77 "2006-05-14T15:59:17Z")
I’m so glad. I’ll continue to pray, and the kitty continues to send snuggles. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/78 "2006-05-14T16:25:55Z")
I hope she comes through okay. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/79 "2006-05-17T00:01:36Z")
MIL is doing well, but won’t be able to go home. She’s going to a skilled nursing facility about 20 minutes from their home tomorrow. That takes me off the hook for a while. I had promised to go stay with them until she got back her strength. So, she’ll be getting her strength back in the rehab place. I feel a little guilty for being so happy about it. I was not looking forward to more time with Pop. He hasn’t barked at me anymore, but he’s pretty passive agressive. Here’s an example. Everyday, we’d get into his car, with either me, or Hubby driving (he can’t deal with the city traffic) He’d say, “Boy, this thing sure needs to be washed.” Yesterday, I washed my car, and he sulked all evening. So I washed his car this morning, and he said “You didn’t have to do that. I just can’t do it anymore.” what? Blah. blah. blah. My nice, is just about all used up. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340/80 "2006-05-17T19:56:32Z")
The ambulance picked mom up at 11:00 am. We drove Pop as far as the ferry, then put him in the driver’s seat. He can make it from Kingston to Sequim. He’ll be 10 minutes away from the rehab center. I’m pretty sure he’s as glad to leave here as I am to see him go. It’s funny, how you can love someone, but not want them in your house. [sub] Or maybe its only me that feels that way.[/sub] I’ll go over when she’s ready to go home, but everyone should be over the stress. Thank you all. This thread can go to bed now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-ok-cancer-it-is-then-sigh/350340.md?page=5)