# Well shit. I'm not growing a third testicle. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 17, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368 "2009-04-17T01:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/1 "2009-04-17T01:39:36Z")
The doc told me that there were rarely complications from a vasectomy. Oh lucky me. On the plus side, I’ll be happy to finally be rid of the grapefruit I’ve had between my legs for the past two weeks. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/2 "2009-04-17T02:24:26Z")
I had that too; I’ve got no advice, only empathy. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/3 "2009-04-17T02:44:26Z")
I’m pretty sure I know what I’m in for, but give me the gory details chacoguy420. What am I in for? ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/4 "2009-04-17T02:57:45Z")
Eww! Pics? 😉 (Or at least an explanation?) ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/5 "2009-04-17T03:15:29Z")
Dolores, I had a vasectomy on the third of April. I figured it was taking a while to heal, but this morning I finally felt around (ouch) and discovered a few masses. Now normally, I would be thrilled that the first two masses are where they are supposed to be. It’s the introduction of the visiting teste cousin that got me talking to my dad (retired family practice doc). His over the phone diagnosis was bleeding, in the ol’ satchel. I’m actually relieved that there is an end at the tunnel. I’m pretty sick of the pain. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/6 "2009-04-17T03:17:50Z")
Why is it all swellings in that vicinity inevitably attain the size of a grapefruit? I feel that I will be doing much wincing tomorrow during breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/7 "2009-04-17T13:47:49Z")
Gotcha. Hope you heal up fast! (I’m glad I’ve got no dangly bits to swell up like grapefruits… Ow!) ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/8 "2009-04-17T15:41:32Z")
Dude, man, you’re hardcore. This has been going on since the 3rd of April and you’re just now addressing it? Cool! Sorry for the lack of a third testicle, though. Bummer. There goes your world domination plans. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/9 "2009-04-17T16:02:12Z")
Took mine more than a year to get down. One side was all swollen and damn. So be happy. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/10 "2009-04-17T16:18:23Z")
Ouch! It hurts me to even read that. Sending healing thoughts your way! ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/11 "2009-04-17T16:59:22Z")
Fucker told me to just deal with it. “It’s only been two weeks”. I kicked him in the nads as hard as I could, and pummeled him with a chair. Well. At least in my head I did. In two weeks it should liquefy (wtf!?!) and then be easily drained. Fucking asshole. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/12 "2009-04-17T17:09:56Z")
I admire your self restraint, NurseCarmen. I hope you feel better soon. Did Fucker at least offer you some pain meds? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/13 "2009-04-17T18:17:32Z")
Dammit. I didn’t think of pain meds. Fucker didn’t. When I broke my arm and had a bone sticking out, I didn’t use up all the prescribed Vicodin, but I have with this. That’s it. I’m going to have to go back and shit on his car hood and moon his nurse. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-shit-im-not-growing-a-third-testicle/493368/14 "2009-04-18T04:20:36Z")
Here’s hoping your _tri_sticle subsides asymptomatically.