# "Well smack my ass and call me Sally!"...WTF? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146 "2004-07-14T21:36:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/1 "2004-07-14T21:36:09Z")
Why would I want anyone to do that? What would it mean if they did? What does my ass, Sally, or the two together, have to do with a state of disbelief or surprise? I heard this exclamation uttered again yesterday, I hope for the very last time; and yet I can’t stop thinking about it. I must get to the _bottom_ of this annoyingly inscrutable phrase! What does it mean? What…does…it…_mean_? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/2 "2004-07-14T22:03:48Z")
First you have to find out if it’s Mustang Sally or not. This is critically important. And if it _is_, find out if she ‘goes round the roses’. Get back to me. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/3 "2004-07-14T22:14:46Z")
My boss, who is from the vicinity of Kansas City, MO; uses as an expression of surprise: “Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit!” :eek: I have no clue how to respond to that… ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/4 "2004-07-14T22:31:18Z")
One of my sister’s best friends used to alternate between: “Well cut my hair off and call me baldy!” and “Cut my legs off and call me shorty!” I grew up in southwestern Indiana, so I’m not sure if it’s a regional thing, a national thing or just something really weird that this particular person or her family did. It was funny as hell, though, because sometimes she’d get them mixed up and yell “Cut my hair off and call me shorty!” ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/5 "2004-07-14T23:25:07Z")
I have always preffered “Well tie me up and dip me in malto meal!” ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/6 "2004-07-15T00:01:57Z")
“Well, cut off me leg and call me Peggy.” Perhaps Sally was a close friend, and a slap isn’t quite as devestating as an amputation. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/7 "2004-07-15T00:06:20Z")
Well suck my nipples and call me momma! ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/8 "2004-07-15T00:25:17Z")
Well, knock me down and call me scuttlebutt. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/9 "2004-07-15T01:27:06Z")
The line you heard was likely inspired (perhaps _very_ indirectly) by Jon Lovitz. In the episode of _Friends_ titled “The One with the Stoned Guy”, Lovitz was “one toke over the line” when he exclaimed: “Slap my ass and call me Judy!” See the **Terms of Endearment** section [on this page](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385483295/104-6043757-9133557?v=glance&vi=excerpt). ---
**Author:** ![Live\_Better\_Electrically](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@Live\_Better\_Electrically](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Live_Better_Electrically)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/10 "2004-07-15T02:27:41Z")
There’s a [hot sauce](http://www.tijuanaflats.com/cgi/quikstore.cgi?search=yes&detail=yes&product=Smack1&category=Smack_My_Ass_Line&keywords=) by that name. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/11 "2004-07-15T02:34:06Z")
Well, tuck me in and call me for breakfast! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/12 "2004-07-15T03:42:41Z")
Another one I’ve heard is “Well tie me to an Anthill and fill my ear with jam!” That I get. It’s a kind of torture. Conceptually, it makes perfect sense. I might easily be confounded and/or surprised to find myself in such a predicament. But imagine… \ \ SMACK! Loopy: “Hey! What the…” Irritant: “Sally! Hah-hah!” Loopy: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/13 "2004-07-15T04:40:48Z")
Well, shellac my ass and call me shiny! ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/14 "2004-07-15T04:49:46Z")
Speaking as the ambassador from the American South, ‘Sally,’ or ‘Sal’ are two traditional names for mules. Does that in any way help? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/15 "2004-07-15T05:13:45Z")
Mr Garrison once said that line on _South Park_. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/16 "2004-07-15T05:41:14Z")
Well, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the nymphos! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/17 "2004-07-15T05:43:19Z")
My personal version of this (learned from a friend’s dad - thanks, Al!) is “Well dip me in shit and roll me in cracker crumbs!” Makes me giggle every time. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/18 "2004-07-15T12:08:27Z")
I sometimes say, “Well, paint me blue and call me a Smurf.” As to the OP, I have no fucking idea why people say these things. But they’re amusing nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/19 "2004-07-15T12:13:54Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Well, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the nymphos! Why do I think that the next line is “No, really. Please. I mean it.” 😃 Grammar hijack: When you end a question with a quoted sentence that is _not_ a question, how do you properly punctuate? I know that normally the punctuation does inside the quotation marks. But here, you actually need two punctuaters - one for the quote, one for the sentence (question). ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/20 "2004-07-15T12:17:20Z")
well, smack me with a bag of rabbits. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146.md?page=2)