# "Well smack my ass and call me Sally!"...WTF? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146 "2004-07-14T21:36:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/41 "2024-04-05T07:47:18Z")
Oh, and one that is quintessentially northern-England: ‘Well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs!’ ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/42 "2024-04-05T08:25:14Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > ‘Well, stap my vitals!’ Is an exclamation of surprise from around 1700. I wonder how far back this form of speech can be traced. Is ‘bless my soul’ older? Another version is “Well, blow me down!”\* - i.e. I am so surprised and taken aback by this turn of events that simply puffing air at me would cause me to fall over. Similarly “you could knock me down with a feather”. I wonder if the common feature to all these is along the lines of “My flabberghastedness has rendered me completely vulnerable to even the most painful or ludicrous indignities, I am defenceless in shock.” If so, “Bless my soul” would probably fit, as it suggests a need of urgent spiritual/moral support (and I guess, an implied danger of imminently passing away?). I never understood what is meant to happen at the foot of the stairs, though, so I don’t know if it fits this theory or not. \*(This shortens to “Blow me!”, an expression my 70-something father is prone to use to express surprise or indignation. One of his five children will have to tell him that to modern ears “Blow me!” sounds like an invitation to perform fellatio, but it ain’t gonna be me.) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/43 "2024-04-05T08:40:31Z")
> [@Stanislaus](#): > > I never understood what is meant to happen at the foot of the stairs, though, so I don’t know if it fits this theory or not. Hypotheses abound, but there doesn’t seem to be anything firm - it could be something to do with a need to sit down (the foot of the stairs being somewhere easily accessible if you need to sit down suddenly) - it might be connected to the practice of making a misbehaving child sit on the ‘naughty step’ as a punishment (that is, ‘I am so surprised, I need to be punished in some way’ - which sounds like nonsense, but it’s entirely consistent with all the ‘slap me’ forms) ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/44 "2024-04-05T11:21:38Z")
> [@Stanislaus](#): > > I never understood what is meant to happen at the foot of the stairs It could also be used as a sarcastic way of expressing a lack of surprise, as though someone has stated something trivial or bleedin’ obvious. As for “stap me vitals!”, the late George Melly said he had a great-aunt who would occasionally say “Dash me wig!” ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/45 "2024-04-05T11:37:01Z")
Well, slice off my willy and call me John Wayne Bobbitt. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/46 "2024-04-05T11:47:27Z")
After a particularly enthusiastic gang bang scene the porn actress had a face like a plasterer’s radio and a fanny like a punched lasagne. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2024, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/47 "2024-04-05T14:03:58Z")
Moderating: > [@kferr](#): > > After a particularly enthusiastic gang bang scene the porn actress had a face like a plasterer’s radio and a fanny like a punched lasagne. This is off topic and pretty gross. Please, no one else reply to it. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2024, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/48 "2024-04-06T02:32:04Z")
WOW! Twenty years later. “Well, powder me in sugar and call me a doughnut.” Figures of speech they are. Yrsssss. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2024, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146/49 "2024-04-06T17:08:12Z")
After reading this thread, I’m hearing a Foghorn Leghorn voice saying, “Well bust by britches!” Can anyone confirm this? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-smack-my-ass-and-call-me-sally-wtf/255146.md?page=2)