# Well the boyfriend and I have set a date...far, far away
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 8, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976 "2005-02-08T12:49:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/21 "2005-02-08T15:48:30Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> I’m not sure what this means but I’m thinking it’s a compliment? Don’t worry tdn, I still will cook \*rotis \* for you when you come over! How about _aloo ki pranti_, or bread with potato & seasoning cooked in!
The reference is from The Graduate, where Dustin Hoffman tries to stop a wedding in progress to get the girl he loves.
But if I can’t have you, than pass the food! 😉
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/22 "2005-02-08T15:57:26Z")
> [@wisernow](#):
>
> I am not sure whether it applies to **Anaamika** and her family, but most Indian weddings also have the bride and groom go around a sacred flame 7 times. While the whole business of the wedding is spread over a few days, with different ceremonies performed each day, the last and central process of the wedding takes about an hour or so where the bride and groom sit beside a sacred flame, in the _mandap_ that **Anaamika** mentioned, and the priest chants specific _shlokaas_(holy verses). The walk around the flame is the high point after which the bride and groom are deemed married. It is also here that the groom puts red vermillion on the bride’s head, which signifies that the woman is married.
Well, I just skipped over all the grisly details. Figured my post was long enough. But the 7 times is one for each lifetime we will be together (note: I am not Hindu anymore but I don’t mind, really) and we do have all the havan, and everything.
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### Author:  [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/23 "2005-02-08T16:11:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> So March 2007 is going to be my traditional Indian wedding. Then in May 2007 we ourselves will pay for a completely traditional Chinese wedding. There will be no Western influence in either wedding, and I have to admit, that makes me very happy - it’s good to touch one’s roots on a day like this.
>
> It’s nice to have you guys to tell about it as we are not telling every member of the family yet. (My mother might just die of the excitement)! Thanks for listening to me!
Congratulations! Does that mean you’ll include the part where the groom rides in on a horse and everything?
I’m sorry - for some reason that really appeals to me.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/24 "2005-02-08T16:13:05Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#):
>
> Congratulations! Does that mean you’ll include the part where the groom rides in on a horse and everything?
>
> I’m sorry - for some reason that really appeals to me.
Oh yes, I love that too. He will definitely be on a horse.
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### Author:  [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/25 "2005-02-08T16:15:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> (note: I am not Hindu anymore but I don’t mind, really) and we do have all the havan, and everything.
Then? And then why the Indian wedding? 😕
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### Author:  [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/26 "2005-02-08T16:20:22Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> Oh yes, I love that too. He will definitely be on a horse.
Awesome. I wish my husband and I had had more time to do the full-blown traditional wedding. It meant a lot to his family that we included their traditions at all, but I would have loved to include more. We didn’t even get to have the party the night before because we had the Western rehearsal dinner and the mendhi ceremony in the morning, which took all day. Then there were other things that we missed like the party my father-in-law had the night before the rehearsal dinner - I had to wait for my dad to get in because he was stuck in a snow storm. I didn’t even get to do the Gouri puja before the wedding. My mother-in-law said she wants to do some of those ceremonies when we visit my husband’s family in India next year. But it won’t be the same. I’m so excited for you! Yay!
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### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/27 "2005-02-08T16:24:58Z")
Congratulations, **Anaamika**! Sounds absolutely beautiful!
[sub]I’d renounce my white-bread suburban Anglo-ness for the beautiful colours of an Asian wedding, but cruel fate has thrown you into the arms of another. Looks like it’s peanut-butter sandwiches again tonight.[/sub]
🙂
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/28 "2005-02-08T16:39:21Z")
> [@wisernow](#):
>
> Then? And then why the Indian wedding? 😕
Because I want it. Isn’t that enough reason? Just because I am not Hindu neither changes my family nor does it make me not _Indian_.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/29 "2005-02-08T18:40:07Z")
> [@wisernow](#):
>
> Then? And then why the Indian wedding? 😕
[Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=301329) is a more detailed answer.
Thanks.
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/30 "2005-02-08T18:50:28Z")
Congratulations again.
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### Author:  [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/31 "2005-02-08T19:12:06Z")
Congrats. Engagement is fun, ain’t it?
(just FYI Monsoon Wedding was directed by an Indian woman, totally independent and shot entirely in India in just one month)
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/32 "2005-02-08T19:16:27Z")
Now, since you are marrying a Hot Asian Guy you lucky devil what entails a chinese wedding? I gots to know.
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### Author:  [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/33 "2005-02-08T19:18:29Z")
You can be an atheist and still be a Hindu, btw, so if Aanamika wants to have a traditional Hindu wedding there’s no hypocrisy or contradiction. I’m not saying that Ms. A IS a Hindu Atheist but within Hinduism it happens to be possible.
When I get hitched I’m gonna wear me some yellow per Marathi customs. I adore North Indian and Guju weddings the best, though-very lively.
Anu
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/34 "2005-02-08T19:27:51Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#):
>
> Now, since you are marrying a Hot Asian Guy you lucky devil what entails a chinese wedding? I gots to know.
I’m afraid I don’t know much about it as the only other wedding I’ve been to in his family was half-Chinese/half-Jewish. I’ll keep you guys posted. A lot of incense lighting and bowing, I’m sure. 😉
> [@anu-la1979](#):
>
> You can be an atheist and still be a Hindu, btw, so if Aanamika wants to have a traditional Hindu wedding there’s no hypocrisy or contradiction. I’m not saying that Ms. A IS a Hindu Atheist but within Hinduism it happens to be possible.
I guess this is what I was trying to explain in the other thread. I am a Hindu atheist. Never thought of such a title for myself, but I am.
(and I thought you were married. Haven’t you spoken of your husband?)
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### Author:  [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/35 "2005-02-09T18:49:37Z")
Well, well… how the mighty have fallen… 😛_ **Mazal Tov!** _ – you’ve been to a half-Jewish wedding, so you must know what this means!
Of course, two years is a long time. Things can happen… jus’ saying, is all… 😉 (hey, a guy’s gotta have **some** hope!)
(seriously, I’m sure you’ll still be overjoyed at the prospect when the time finally comes… and 30 years later. All the best!)
Dani
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-the-boyfriend-and-i-have-set-a-date-far-far-away/288976/36 "2005-02-09T19:23:57Z")
Of course I know what Mazel Tov means! That was a fun wedding, they broke the glass (a light bulb) and even put everybody in a chair and flung them up and down.
Well, not me. I didn’t want to get hurt!
Thank you everyone!
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