# Well, what are you waiting for? Get the hell outta here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2004, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839 "2004-11-15T10:52:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/81 "2004-11-16T02:31:43Z")
> [@Ninja Pizza Guy](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by Ludovic > > One time, I tried to talk reasonably to this one athiest in my office – he was a real nutjob, always reading about evolution on his lunch hour and wearing hemp clothing. > > > > I tried to debate with him to convince him to convert to agnosticism, but the motherfuck took out his cross pen and stabbed me in the hand! ALL atheists do this. > > **All** atheists to this? Odd, but I don’t remember stabbing you in the hand with a pen, or, for that matter, stabbing **anyone** , **anywhere** with **anything**. Please refresh my memory of when I did that. TIA & all that. > > OBTW, just because **you** think you were “reasonable” does not mean you were - the atheist may well have thought you were a flaming asshole. WHOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHH… Methinks you need to adjust your Sarcas-O-Meter. 😉 Surely the “cross pen” bit should have set it off? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/82 "2004-11-16T02:35:05Z")
Bollocks to that! Give 'em the Dakotas. Build a REALLY big fence. What’s with givin up prime costal real estate to these loons? ---
**Author:** ![Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f04885/32.png) [@Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ninja_Pizza_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/83 "2004-11-16T03:46:21Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > WHOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHH… > > Methinks you need to adjust your Sarcas-O-Meter. 😉 Surely the “cross pen” bit should have set it off? 😃 Should it? I can buy a [Cross Pen](http://www.cross.com/) in pretty much any office supply store. Why would or should a real brand name make me think “satire”? In any event, it’s nearly impossible to satirize fundies since no matter how over the top you go, there’s a real fundie staring down at you from farther over the top. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/84 "2004-11-16T03:50:34Z")
> [@Asknott](#): > > They believe Catholics are evil, dishonest, and hellbound, for example. Cool! I never knew us mackeral munchers were so exciting! Yippee! So could I assume then that they hate us? > [@gobear](#): > > So why are the Christian Exodus people so upset? They’ve won. What else do they want? They want everything. It will never be enough. > [@](#): > > Maybe they’re just plain old nutjobs …. violence-prone people who demonize others with the reckless abandon of sixteenth-century witch hunters. That part (at least) was right. > [@gobear](#): > > When fundies support religious tolerance, the teaching of science in schools and creationism in churches, and the application of Christ’s teachings to the poor and the downtrodden, then I shall post something to the effect of “Well done, fundies!” Uh huh, and hell has just frozen over too. > [@Liberal](#): > > “fundamentalist” is one of the most controversial religious terms. Tough shit. So long as these individuals call everyone else various names, turn about is fair play. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/85 "2004-11-16T03:57:08Z")
> [@Ninja Pizza Guy](#): > > Should it? I can buy a [Cross Pen](http://www.cross.com/) in pretty much any office supply store. Why would or should a real brand name make me think “satire”? Maybe it was the lower-case “c”? Or maybe you just haven’t seen enough of **Lib** flinging “hand-stabber!” at atheists whenever they pollute his Weltanshauung. > [@](#): > > In any event, it’s nearly impossible to satirize fundies since no matter how over the top you go, there’s a real fundie staring down at you from farther over the top. Now, there I have to agree with you. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/86 "2004-11-16T04:47:51Z")
> [@NotMrKnowItAll](#): > > Of course there’s the small matter of the National Debt. If South Carolina wishes to secede, they will have to settle up on their portion of the Debt. The population of South Carolina was estimated to be 4,147,152 in 2003. The total US population was estimated at 290,809,777, so 1.43% of US citizens are South Carolinians ([cite](http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/45000.html)). > > Now, the total federal debt is [$7,429,634,897,166.91](http://www.publicdebt.treas.gov/opd/opdpenny.htm) (as of 11/10/2004). So, SC needs to pony up $105,951,820,261.72 first, and then we can talk about their seceding. Render unto Cesar what is Cesar’s and all that, right? Hey hey hey! I sent you that check last week, it musta got lost in the mail! Are you _sure_ you checked your mail? Are you _sure_ you didn’t throw it away? Cause I _swear_ I sent it! “South Carolina” dosen’t want to secede, what it wants is not to have anybody _else’s_ nutjobs, thanks so much. We have plenty of the homegrown sort. When the rest of you send your nuclear waste here the governor grandstands a bit and once stood in front of the trucks on the road. Maybe he’ll do that for the loonies too? ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/87 "2004-11-16T06:47:59Z")
hm… I’m just surprised and glad they aren’t coming to Mississippi… must be all of the darkies we have here. As far as Libertarianism goes, Liberal, what’s the problem? I’ll even let the secceed if they want, and I’ll be willing to forgive their balance of payments to the federal government. It will be priceless, IMO. Actually, though, in terms of population, Rhode Island isn’t the best choice, rest easy. Wyoming is the perfect choice. Don’t they have a population of around 300k? Supposedly 4 million fundies voted for Bush. Oh, and the reason they aren’t satisfied is because they don’t have a complete Christian state. That’s the Republican’s problem. If Bush doesn’t turn America into a theocracy, or if his sucessor doen’t promise to go even further, they’ll be dissatisfied. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/88 "2004-11-16T07:07:06Z")
> [@5que](#): > > Come \*\*ON \*\* people! > > We give them Texas! Please, not all of Texas! How about just the area around Lubbuck? Wide open, undeveloped spaces. We can even help them build a wall so they’re safe from the rest of Texas (the cities anyway). ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/89 "2004-11-16T07:12:38Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > Bollocks to that! Give 'em the Dakotas. Build a REALLY big fence. What’s with givin up prime costal real estate to these loons? No, can’t give them South Dakota. Way too much beautiful landscape, plus Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse are both there. Besides, haven’t we punished the Native Americans enough? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/90 "2004-11-16T07:28:26Z")
South Carolina?! SOUTH CAROLINA?! Why would they want to move to South Carolina? I would think they’d want to all move to someplace more religious. Perhaps the birthplace of their god? It’s not like anyone wants that land anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/91 "2004-11-16T08:43:24Z")
Yeah, sorry for the whoosh…and I didn’t even think of the double meaning of “Cross Pen” till a few seconds after i hit submit! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/92 "2004-11-16T10:41:19Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Tough shit. So long as these individuals call everyone else various names, turn about is fair play. That’s not what you really mean because if it were, you wouldn’t mind them calling you names (if indeed they do). I think what you really mean is that it is fair for you to call names, but not fair for them. No “turnabout” to it. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/93 "2004-11-16T10:43:31Z")
> [@bannerrefugee](#): > > Hey \*\*Liberal \*\* It seems you want to argue about who is more violent. > How about Eric Rudolph, Dennis Malvasi, or James Kopp. They seem like a pretty rough bunch. Tell me again who did Madalyn Murray O’Hair shoot or bomb? What, you want to match Christians with atheists or something? I’ll see your Eric Rudolph and raise you Josef Stalin. I’ll see your Dennis Malvasi and raise you Pol Pot. I’ll see your James Kopp, and raise you Mao Tse-Tung. […raking in the pot…] ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/94 "2004-11-16T10:44:57Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Actually, a lot of Dopers _are_ ordinary, church-going Americans. At my workplace, we have church-going Christians, synagogue-going Jews, and mosque-going Muslims. > > What you have failed to get that this is not a diatribe against ordinary religious Americans, but about a pack of looney tunes fundies who want to secede and start their own theocratic state in South Carolina. Surely, even you can figure out that extremist nutcases do not represent the entirety of their faiths. Who are you and what did you do with **gobear**?!? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/95 "2004-11-16T15:49:54Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > What, you want to match Christians with atheists or something? I’ll see your Eric Rudolph and raise you Josef Stalin. I’ll see your Dennis Malvasi and raise you Pol Pot. I’ll see your James Kopp, and raise you Mao Tse-Tung. > > […raking in the pot…] I’d put that loot back on the table if I were you. Stalin, Pol Pot and Mao Tse-Tung were all three atheists, true, but that’s not why they surpressed religion and killed its adherents; their political beliefs, paranoia and intolerance of dissent led them to that. And, again, what support do you have for your assertion that American Atheists are violence-prone as a group? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/96 "2004-11-16T16:18:30Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Who are you and what did you do with **gobear**?!? I’m the same guy, but you just don’t get my position. I’m philosophically opposed to religion, all of it, and you will find me attacking belief in the supernatural. But at the same time, I don’t expect anyone else to live by my standards. I recognize that each faith has its spectrum of adherents, from the spiritually transformed to the fundamentally obnoxious. I can respect the devout, even if I disagree with them, and judge them by their action, just as I woukld anyone else. I frequently go off on fundamentalists who insist on forcing other people to obey their rules, and that’s my chief problem with them. If they’d just keep their hateful beliefs in their church and off the ballot box, I’d leave them in peace. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/97 "2004-11-16T16:25:12Z")
Ot to put it another way, it ought to be understand that when I bitch about fundies, it ought to be understood that I’m not talking about Benedictine monks, or Egyptian Copts, or Minnesota Lutherans, or Nestorian anchorites. A condemnation of one set of beliefs held by a right-wing subset of the faith ought not to be read as an indictment of the whole of Christendom, and yet it often is. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/98 "2004-11-16T16:37:13Z")
I looked through all of their FAQs and I was suprised to find that “Are fucking kidding me?” was not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/99 "2004-11-16T16:41:20Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Oh my! I’ve seen the light! I can no longer believe in God. I’m atheist now. And not just a _little_ atheist, but full-on Ayn Rand atheist! I like hand stabbing! > > Wait a minute, what about [Pascal’s Wager](http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/pascal-wager/)? Both sides present a coherent, if out of context, sound byte of an argument. Man alive, am I so confused. Yay, I converted one! Huzzah! But that Ayn Rand is a nutjob, so don’t really follow what she advises, 'mkay? And Pascal was a weenie, since he figured that a tri-omni deity could have the wool pulled over his eyes by a rascally liar. And the river in afterlife? A classical allusion to **Brutus** ’s stated location. As for everything else, despite what the righties and lefties in the States may believe, the election wasn’t won because of moral values-- it was the same old War and Terror issues. I often disagree with him, but [Charles Krauthammer](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A44082-2004Nov11.html?sub=AR) makes the argument well. (Registration for Washington Post required) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839/100 "2004-11-16T17:05:42Z")
Mrs. Nott has reminded me that our fundie relations moved to **North Carolina,** not South Carolina. I’m quite relieved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-what-are-you-waiting-for-get-the-hell-outta-here/274839.md?page=6)