# Well wishes for atheists!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 10, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897 "2005-07-10T22:58:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/1 "2005-07-10T22:58:36Z")

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We atheists are a sorry lot. Something good (or tragic) happens to someone and what have we got to say?

Congratulations!  
Good Luck!  
Wishing you all the best!

-or-

My Sympathies.  
I’m so sorry.  
Condolences.  
But aren’t the real gems theistic?

God bless.  
Go with god. (Via con dios if you’re feeling international)  
Godspeed. (My favourite, though I’m not sure what it actually means)  
Bless your heart.

I’m certain there must be more that I can’t think of at the moment. Please add at will and then share if, as an atheist, you feel comfortable invoking god as a heartfelt gesture or expression.  
From your lips to god’s ears… 🙂

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**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/2 "2005-07-10T23:17:58Z")

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When I was an atheist, I generally tried to avoid using the ‘G’ word. I didn’t want to mislead people into thinking that I believed there was such an entity as God, so I tried to steer clear of namedropping.

I did use the word “goodbye,” even though it originally came from “God be with ye.” But no way would I ever have said “Goodbye, and may God bless.”

Naturally, when I became a theist, I loosened up quite a bit in this area. But I still don’t throw the word “God” around much, unless I am with others who share my belief. To me, spreading the gospel doesn’t mean beating people over the head with it.

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**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/3 "2005-07-10T23:42:38Z")

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For God’s sake. Oh God, Not even _God_… God knows. What in God’s Name? Jesus Christ!

All linkstones of English conversation. All inappropriate for Atheists.

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/4 "2005-07-10T23:45:01Z")

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“Hey, good thing there’s no God to smite you for doing that!”

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**Author:** ![Arch\_Trout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9f8e36/32.png) [@Arch\_Trout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arch_Trout)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/5 "2005-07-10T23:47:25Z")

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As an atheist I often use ‘Jesus’ as an expression of disbelief at other peoples stupidity.  
Not sure there is a proper atheist equivalent, other than saying ‘You’re an idiot’

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**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/6 "2005-07-10T23:49:15Z")

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> [@Lobsang](#):
>
> For God’s sake. Oh God, Not even _God_… God knows. What in God’s Name? Jesus Christ!
> 
> All linkstones of English conversation. All inappropriate for Atheists.

Says who? Even though I am agnostic, I like to throw around most of those. Peppery language, I say.

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**Author:** ![Arch\_Trout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9f8e36/32.png) [@Arch\_Trout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arch_Trout)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/7 "2005-07-11T00:02:20Z")

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Just thought of the Futurama gem as said by Bender:

> [@](#):
>
> Oh _your_ God

😃

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**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/8 "2005-07-11T00:10:22Z")

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> [@ZebraShaSha](#):
>
> Says who? Even though I am agnostic, I like to throw around most of those. Peppery language, I say.

I did say inappropriate. I didn’t say unused. I catch myself using them all, but always too late.

I wish I could convince myself that I am using them in the same way I give and recieve pressies at crimbo (habit and tradition) but there is always the niggling feeling that by using them I am hinting to people that I am a theist.

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**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/9 "2005-07-11T00:24:48Z")

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May the non-existant God non-bless all your endeavors!

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/10 "2005-07-11T00:40:26Z")

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I believe that God speed is short for My God speed you on your journey.  
My random factors operate in you favor.  
Via con Dios is one I like but I sometimes change it up with Jesus (hey-sous) con queso.

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**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/11 "2005-07-11T00:41:19Z")

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> [@Ethilrist](#):
>
> “Hey, good thing there’s no God to smite you for doing that!”

_snerk_

I have almost broken myself of the habit of saying “Thank God”, I say Thank Goodness. Even if it sounds sappy. And I don’t say “Oh my God” anymore.

But I simply cannot break myself of the habit saying “Jesus!” or worse “Jesus H. Christ!”

And I’m a strong atheist. :smack:

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/12 "2005-07-11T00:44:59Z")

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It would be illogical to assume that all conditions remain stable.  
Is a nice way of saying ‘shit happens’.

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**Author:** ![sundog66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@sundog66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sundog66)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/13 "2005-07-11T01:01:49Z")

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> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> But I simply cannot break myself of the habit saying “Jesus!” or worse “Jesus H. Christ!”
> 
> And I’m a strong atheist. :smack:

???

I consider one of the cool fringe benefits of being an atheist to be the ability to invoke such oaths without guilt…

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**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/14 "2005-07-11T01:07:50Z")

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> [@QuickSilver](#):
>
> Congratulations!  
> Good Luck!  
> Wishing you all the best!

I’m actually down to just one from your list because I don’t believe in luck or wishing. It takes some thought but it’s doable. In fact, I like the spanish version of ‘bless you’ better. When someone sneezes you just say ‘salud!’ no hoping for a deity to bless someone with good health or whatever. You just hand over the health directly with ‘salud,’ no middleman.

I’m an atheist who uses god or jesus in my speech. My use doesn’t mean I endorse them, they’re just tools for communication. Like if I say 'shit!" I don’t actually _mean_ feces or that I’m a big fan of the stuff.

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**Author:** ![EleventyOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@EleventyOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EleventyOne)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/15 "2005-07-11T01:49:48Z")

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> [@sundog66](#):
>
> ???
> 
> I consider one of the cool fringe benefits of being an atheist to be the ability to invoke such oaths without guilt…

Me too. I can tell people to “go to hell,” while I have no worries of going there myself.

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**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/16 "2005-07-11T01:58:14Z")

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I’m as atheist as they make ‘em, but I find a great delight in spouting, "_Jay_-sus, Mary an’ Joseph, ya _darty bahstardt!_" in a violently fake Irish accent.

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**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/17 "2005-07-11T02:10:33Z")

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> [@sundog66](#):
>
> I consider one of the cool fringe benefits of being an atheist to be the ability to invoke such oaths without guilt…

Precisely. I say Jesus Christ and variants thereof all the time. I also say the following phrases with some regularity:

**god’s green earth**  
There’s no way on god’s green earth I’m going to touch that iron.

**good lord**  
Good lord, that shit was hot!

**gott in himmel**  
_Gott in himmel!_

**sweet lord**  
Sweet lord, my finger hurts!

**goddamn it**  
Goddamn it! Why did I touch that iron?

**no way in hell**  
There’s no way in hell I’m touching another iron unless I know how long it’s been unplugged.

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**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/18 "2005-07-11T03:41:26Z")

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Does anyone remember HeretiCards? Their website seems to be defunct now, so I guess they are out of business. They sold atheist-oriented greeting cards. Some of 'em were pretty funny.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/19 "2005-07-11T03:45:21Z")

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> [@QuickSilver](#):
>
> We atheists are a sorry lot. Something good (or tragic) happens to someone and what have we got to say?  
> …  
> But aren’t the real gems theistic?

I don’t find that those are gems at all. They’re just things everybody’s taught to say. So I find it annoying that I can’t go with something easy like that, not because they’re wonderful things to say. Oops, I have to be sincere.

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**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\
**Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well-wishes-for-atheists/311897/20 "2005-07-11T06:09:03Z")

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> [@Lobsang](#):
>
> I did say inappropriate. I didn’t say unused. I catch myself using them all, but always too late.
> 
> I wish I could convince myself that I am using them in the same way I give and recieve pressies at crimbo (habit and tradition) but there is always the niggling feeling that by using them I am hinting to people that I am a theist.

Ah, I see. Mea culpa.

Cheers! (\<–Where’s your [general, not Lobsang’s] God _now?_ )

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