# Well... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303 "2003-01-13T15:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/101 "2003-01-13T23:59:33Z")
One could take the same philosophy that **EasyPhil** has about this board and apply it to real life. I can understand why it would be hard to put in practice in real life. And I can understand why it would be hard to put in practice on the internet. But it doesn’t make the philosophy wrong. It seems to me that **DDG** has more supporters than enemies. Even those who are critical aren’t being mean about it (except for a few). Often when someone is pitted this isn’t the case. So why– **Duck Duck Goose** –is it so bothersome what a minority thinks? It’s not like every Doper is sitting behind their computers, grumbling about what a googly-eyed bitch you are. I know I’m not. [sub]hehehe…“googly”-eyed bitch…get it?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/102 "2003-01-14T00:12:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > \*\*Or, alternatively, you could just stop pretending to be the supreme arbiter of who and what we can value in our lives. Just a thought, that. \*\* I’m calling it like I see it. You see something else, good, keep your eyes peeled, you’re bound to run into something. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/103 "2003-01-14T00:15:24Z")
Count me in as a supporter of **Duck Duck Goose**. She’s an asset to the board no question about it. bluecanary ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/104 "2003-01-14T00:23:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > \*\ ***EasyPhil** , for many, being called out here is no different than being called out face-to-face in a very public manner by a friend, neighbor, co-worker or classmate. > > If a group of your friends or co-workers stood up and shouted, “ **Phil** , I don’t like you, I think you’re annoying and here’s why.” And then proceded to outline every part of your personality that they found objectionable. You’d probably be a little upset, pissed off, hurt, whatever.\*\* I don’t think this analogy really fits, because someone you don’t know, that you’re not friends with, that is not your co-worker, etc., can call you out in the Pit. If the criticism isn’t justified or just plain wrong, and you know that, why waste time getting all worked up about it. If on the otherhand it’s correct, why not just note the points made and either keep on doing what you’re doing because you just don’t care, or change what you’re doing, because at the end of the day you do want to be a better person. To each their own. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Whether the criticsm is justified or not, a public rant by a group directed toward an individual would probably sting. As it did for DDG. > > My point was that for many people here who have invested a lot time and themselves at the SDMB, such a declaration of annoyance could illicit the same feelings as they would in the Flesh and Blood World. \*\* Life isn’t fair, what else is new? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/105 "2003-01-14T00:49:57Z")
Yeah, life isn’t fair, so therefore we’re not allowed to complain about it from time to time. **Easy** , just leave it at, “It’s not that way for me” and accept that it is that way for others, and you’re fine. Harping the point isn’t going to win you any points around here. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/106 "2003-01-14T00:51:27Z")
I remember feeling _exactly_ like **EasyPhil** does. In fact, I even said it aloud at my first Dopefest (to a moderator, no less) and watched his eyes goggle. That was a few years ago. A few deaths ago. A few births ago. A few deep conversations ago and a few loud arguments ago. That was before I fell in love with posters I never met and before I came to loathe one or two more than I would have thought possible without seeing them. This board is a place. It is made up of pixels, but it is still an actual, physical place where you can meet and talk and become emotionally involved --or not. Just like any other place where people talk and meet and become emotionally involved-- or not. Your job is just a job and your house is just a house and this board is just a board. You get out what you put in. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/107 "2003-01-14T00:56:41Z")
Oh yeah-- the only comment I have on the **DDG-- Jar** situation was all said in my post above. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/108 "2003-01-14T01:04:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Billdo \* > \*\ ***Duck Duck Goose** , > > I think that the issue is not one of substance, but of tone. To use you commune analogy, picking up coffee cups is not in itself annoying, but the attitude with which they are picked up could be. For instance (and this is not an analogy to how I see you being on the boards), if the hypothetical visitor looked down her nose and sniffed at all of the “slovenly” residents each time she picked up a cup, can’t you see how that might become annoying to the residents. Another illustration of this type of thing is in the many threads complaining about when a mother-in-law gives gifts that seem to contain a subtle message that the son/daughter-in-law isn’t keeping a proper house or raising the grandchildren correctly. > > Where I see the issue is that when you post on board-related topics or with you google results, your posts tend to have the tone of having found THE ANSWER. We’re all toiling here in the fight against ignorance, and some of us, by training or experience, are better equipped to fight certain types of ignorance than others. It’s very useful to get links in a question thread that provide background or even answer the question. However, when someone who knows the intricacies of the subject, and sees that there may be more to the answer than can be found on a linked general information webpage, it can be annoying when that webpage is posted as having answered the question. Perhaps if you prefaced your posts with “I found these links that might be helpful” or the like, rather than suggesting that the links answer the question, it might come off as less irritating, particularly in those instances when there is a bit more out there than what is found in the links. > > Similarly, with when faced with questions of board policy or procedure, perhaps you should try to answer with “what I’ve observed is,” or “I’m not a mod but I think,” or otherwise make clear that you’re posting based on your status as an interested observer, not an official answer source. Then, if it should happen that the mods/admins come to a different answer (which it usually does not), they don’t have to correct the impression that someone with authority made an incorrect statement. > > I think because you realize that the vast majority of the time you provide accurate and effective answers, you can get a little touchy the few times you miss. If you come into this with the attitude that you’re just providing your personal research or views without implying that there is any further authority behind what you’re posting (unless, of course, we’re talking about something within your particular areas of expertise or experience), you’ll avoid the incidental bits of annoyance you sometimes accidentially cause. \*\* Better written than I could manage post-work. Being Pitted is not fun. I know from experience. I was hurt and angry at first. After I calmed down, I realized that the person who Pitted me did have a valid point. I learned from the experience and (hopefully) became a better poster. It’s all in how you take things. _exits quietly_ ---
**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/109 "2003-01-14T01:08:37Z")
I usually steer clear of these emotional threads (hey I’m male, I don’t “do” emotion) but there’s just a couple of points that struck me: 1. I read both the other thread and this one and I’m still not sure what Jarbaby or anyone else is complaining about. Far as I can see, the Goose is kosher. Sure she’s not right 100% of the time but then she’s human not a computer. And if she likes to help out around the place then, so what? Leave her alone. 2. Towards the end of the other thread Green Bean linked to a thread from May 2000 in which Notthemama (aka DDG) said: > [@](#): > > The Better Half did try to warn me–said, “Your true personality won’t come over the pixels, better not even try.” Score one point for the Better Half. Even as I type this, the calm voice from the other side of the dining room table is reminding me, “In three months, six months, tops, you won’t be talking to these people anymore, you’ll have moved on to something else.” I have a very wise person for a spouse. Well he may indeed be wise but, boy, he sure as hell called _that_ one wrong. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/110 "2003-01-14T01:23:04Z")
Quoth **Hardygrrrrl** : > [@](#): > > Being Pitted is not fun. I know from experience. I was hurt and angry at first. After I calmed down, I realized that the person who Pitted me did have a valid point. I learned from the experience and (hopefully) became a better poster. It’s all in how you take things. Which would explain your balanced, compassionate, and polite posts in the original trainwreck, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/111 "2003-01-14T01:26:49Z")
I’ve always appreciated your participation in the boards DDG. In my view you’re helpful. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/112 "2003-01-14T01:30:40Z")
**EasyPhil** , someone on here criticizing you doesn’t mean the same to you as someone on here criticizing me. That’s mainly because, for better or worse, I have more at stake here. Most of my friends are on here. It’s not unusual for my to both start and end my day on here. If one of your friends/relations/whatever were to criticize me, I can’t say that I’d care all that much because that person probably wouldn’t matter all that much to me. Similarly, if someone on this MB had a problem with you, I doubt your reaction would be to the same degree that mine would if someone pitted me. One person’s message board is another person’s SDMB.::shrug:: ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/113 "2003-01-14T01:30:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > Which would explain your balanced, compassionate, and polite posts in the original trainwreck, yes? Ah, screw that. I just want her to stop quoting long posts that agree with her position for the sake of telling us she agrees. ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/114 "2003-01-14T01:55:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\ ***EasyPhil** , someone on here criticizing you doesn’t mean the same to you as someone on here criticizing me. That’s mainly because, for better or worse, I have more at stake here. Most of my friends are on here. It’s not unusual for my to both start and end my day on here. > > If one of your friends/relations/whatever were to criticize me, I can’t say that I’d care all that much because that person probably wouldn’t matter all that much to me. Similarly, if someone on this MB had a problem with you, I doubt your reaction would be to the same degree that mine would if someone pitted me. > > One person’s message board is another person’s SDMB.::shrug:: \*\* I hear what your saying, but I’m of the mind set that your “stake” is a matter of what you make of it. If you’ve got a lot riding on this board, and I interpret that as ego, then yes, your reaction to being pitted is going to be stronger than mine. I would take it as a joke or an opportunity to spar depending on my mood. At the end of the day, the outcome is not going to make or break me, though insights may be had. I’ve never met any of the posters and none of my friends post here, but even if I did or they did, I still firmly believe my position would be the same. **Biggirl** , You make a fair point. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/115 "2003-01-14T02:21:08Z")
**DDG**. Being that I am a somewhat kindred spirit, I’d hate to see you change.\* Anyone who says that “Googling for topics about which you have no personal information and posting the results”— just doesn’t get it. It’s about helping. And it’s fun. And you’re great at it. I only wish my Googling skills were as good. \*I have to agree with **Billdo** though. It’s probably your tone of posting a well-researched, authoratative link and then, in effect declaring, “that’s the definitive, final answer.” I know that anytime I’ve been upset with you, that’s the problem. When we butted heads in the great penis/BM/front teeth BJ thread, you certainly came on as implying “if it aint available one the web(admittedly in a scholarly cite), then it probably ain’t true.” But that’s where I distance myself from you. I support you 99%. Your Google cites are superb. Your ability to sort through crap cites and present the obviously scholarly ones is amazing. I wish I had the time and patience. Again, to offer constructive criticism, you could always try to do what **Billdo** suggests. Change the tone. Offer a disclaimer. I’m bad at this myself. I post things as if they are the final answer. And boy do I hate it when I’m wrong. And for those who object to you(and I) posting links without comments or analysis, I politely say–FUCKING LEARN TO READ IT AND ANALIZE IT YOURSELF. I AIN’T YOUR SERVANT. I AIN’T PICKING UP YOUR COFFEE CUP ANYMORE. I BOUGHT YOU THE POLE, LINE, AND BAIT, NOW LEARN HOW TO FISH. Whew! That felt good. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/116 "2003-01-14T02:25:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I would take it as a joke or an opportunity to spar depending on my mood. At the end of the day, the outcome is not going to make or break me, though insights may be had. Sorry you feel that way. This board means _a lot_ to me. I think about my posts, I read what others say and mull on it for sometimes months at a time. My posts are as much a part of me as anything I do. I don’t dread the day I get pitted, Eris knows it will happen sooner or later, but I do have quite an emotional commitment to this place. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. > [@](#): > > I hear what your saying, but I’m of the mind set that your “stake” is a matter of what you make of it. That’s absolutely correct. When someone asks me a question, I try to respond in the way that I feel as closely as is possible in the medium available. When I post, I give nothing less than myself. I’m a young man, and I am still learning, still growing, still changing—as I hope I will continue to do even when I become and old man—and the interaction I have on this board is a tremendous catalyst for this purpose. That’s what _I_ make of it. I don’t expect that of everyone, but I also do not understand why—or how—it would be otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/117 "2003-01-14T02:42:22Z")
**Gigobuster** I just read this whole thread to find out why it showed up in a vanity search. That is far worse than anything I have ever said or done to you. Consider your vengeance satisfied, and speak not my name in trainwrecks lest I return the favor and leave you a weeping, quivering wreck of a human being begging for mercy. I shit thee not. (facetious smilie ommitted) ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/118 "2003-01-14T02:42:50Z")
I like, respect and admire a lot of people who post on this board. **Duck Duck Goose** is one of them. I don’t like, don’t respect and certainly don’t admire a few people who post on this board. **Hastur** is one of them. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/119 "2003-01-14T05:13:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\ ***Gigobuster** > > I just read this whole thread to find out why it showed up in a vanity search. > > That is far worse than anything I have ever said or done to you. > > Consider your vengeance satisfied, and speak not my name in trainwrecks lest I return the favor and leave you a weeping, quivering wreck of a human being begging for mercy. > > I shit thee not. > > (facetious smilie ommitted) \*\* Like someone said: some people take this board too seriously 🙂 You know, a while ago I was going to post on a MPSIMS thread that asked what cartoon character other board members reminded them, and I pictured **Scylla** as Sponge Bob’s evil Plankton! Of course you will not find my post there because I decided to let that silly flame of yours go, and maybe you were not like Plankton so I decided not to post that. But seeing now that you came here because of vanity, vengeance, and latent vulgarity I see that my gut feeling was right! From Sponge Bob square pants episode 3: > [@](#): > > Computer: “Plankton: 1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas” And I see that **DDG** is back on GQ so now I am doing the Sponge Bob’s Happy dance[sup]TM[/sup] !!! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303/120 "2003-01-14T05:27:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EasyPhil \* > If you’ve got a lot riding on this board, and I interpret that as ego, then yes, your reaction to being pitted is going to be stronger than mine. Very well then, why do you interpret my caring how I am seen on this board as part of my ego? I think any number of people on this board and off could tell you that while some things about me are periodically inflated(;)), my ego certainly isn’t one of them. I’ve simply come to value this place not only in terms of the people it has but the services it provides. As such, I try to take some care in what I say lest I leave it worse than I found it. > [@](#): > > I would take it as a joke or an opportunity to spar depending on my mood. At the end of the day, the outcome is not going to make or break me, though insights may be had. Does that same philosophy apply to, say, your work environment, or your family, or where you go/went to school? This place is, to me and a lot of others, a lot like some of those environments. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/well/148303.md?page=7)