Welp, Democracy was fun.

Perhaps the best solution to the terrorist threat to our election is to surprise 'em with an early hand-over of power?

Can’t you just see it?

"Yes, Mr. Bush, I know it was supposed to be another few months till the election, but we gotta get the drop on those terrorists. Now hand-over those keys…

You didn’t know? Why not? We advertised the change-of-date quite prominently in The Nation…

Unconstitutional?! What, are you siding with the terrorists?"

Sounds like a good idea, except you just know the ACLU would feel obliged to interfere. Damn terrorist-loving do-gooders… I mean… EVIL-doers!

Hopefully the mobs of jackboots that would show up to kick you would-be revolutionaries off the barricade are as convivial and festive!

They’ll definitely show up with more weapons than refreshments - so make sure you bring extra doughnuts!

It was in the basement, in a locked filing cabinet, with a sign on it that said “Beware of the Jaguar”.

Or “leopard”. It’s been a long time…