# We're all going to die!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978 "2005-09-16T15:22:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/21 "2005-09-16T17:11:06Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > TERRORISTS DID[SIZE=1]n’t STEAL THE BUBONIC MICE IN AN EFFORT TO KILL US ALL[/SIZE] Oh no! Mice with bubonic plague were stolen by terrorists and are now released? I need more grey tape for the floor boards! Should I get a cat? Wait, the cat could smother a sleeping baby! I know, I’ll grey tape the cat to the ceiling, and that will keep the baby safe. Anthrax!!! ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/22 "2005-09-16T17:20:04Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Anthrax!!! You can buy an anthrax detector for about $150,000. Much cheaper is to have your least favorite child or pet open the mail. ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/23 "2005-09-16T17:28:44Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Anthrax!!! AC/DC ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/24 "2005-09-16T17:38:28Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > Not me. I’ve made the conscience choice to never die. So far, so good, huh? And the plague is still around. There are a few cases that pop up every year of people who catch it from rodents. Of course, it’s easily treatable nowadays, it just sounds scary, so news drones like to dredge up plague stories every now and then. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/25 "2005-09-16T17:49:12Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > Not me. I’ve made the conscience choice to never die. But, what happens when you go unconscious each night? _I hope to go the way my grandfather did; peacefully, in his sleep. Not kicking and screaming like those other people in his car._ ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/26 "2005-09-16T17:55:25Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > You can buy an anthrax detector for about $150,000. A very wise investment. Wait, what’s this I hear about a KILLER HURRICANE of the North Carolina coast? Anthrax Hurricanes!!! ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/27 "2005-09-16T18:08:02Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > A very wise investment. Yeah, but you also need your bubonic plague detector, your smallpox detector, your andromeda strain detector, and before you know it, you’re talking real money. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/28 "2005-09-16T18:41:35Z")
Yes the television news is doing its level best to inform (and reassure) us. **Scary Movie 3** [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0306047/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0306047/) makes some hilarious comments about television news in general. **Station Ownwer** : And I told you, Cindy, no more paranoid on-air rants about the supernatural. **Cindy** : I know. This station is about sex, violence, and the weather. **Station Owner** : Yes. That reminds me. We’re gonna need that “Porn Star Shot Dead in a Hurricane” story. Then an announcer is shown giving the latest news: “Meanwhile, a tornado in Charleston threatens a clothing-optional beach where just yesterday a naked couple was brutally murdered. This just five miles from where the last naked couple was brutally murdered.” Later in the movie we hear him announce: “An evil video tape which kills anyone who watches it has just been discovered. This station will be broadcasting it all night long.” ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/29 "2005-09-16T18:50:02Z")
My all-time favorite is still the scare-mongering news clip shown in _Bowling For Columbine:_ **Escalators of DOOM!** :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/30 "2005-09-16T19:43:06Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > The lab is now saying they thing the missing mice were eaten by the other, now all dead, mice. The other mice probably figured them for informants. That’s Newark for ya. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/31 "2005-09-16T20:07:33Z")
Ralph Nader warned us about the Bird Flu during the last election. Did anybody listen? Newark, Our mice eat Plague mice for breakfast! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/32 "2005-09-16T21:50:34Z")
Well, we’ve only got another seven years. Didn’t the Mayans say we’re all done for in 2012? What the hell do we have retirement savings for, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_First_Time)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/33 "2005-09-16T21:59:03Z")
The New Republic did a story about this a week or two ago. Bottom line: The scientist scaremongers have enough credentials to get this taken seriously, but there is very little risk of any sort of animal-derived virus causing another pandemic. Since the 1918 flu that killed thousands there have been lots of other flu epidemics which haven’t done that much. Perhaps increased the number of flu deaths by a few thousand over the 25,000 or so flu deaths that occur annually all the time. All the flu scaremongers conveniently forget to mention the results of epidemics that have occured since 1918. The article also states the premise that is was the specific conditions of WWI that caused such a high level of viremia and then all the problems then. Unless WWI conditions are met in the future, another deadly flu pandemic is very unlikely to happen. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/34 "2005-09-16T22:09:23Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > You can buy an anthrax detector for about $150,000. Much cheaper is to have your least favorite child or pet open the mail. Darn the luck! My ex got the kids and my dog still hasn’t got the hang of the letter opener. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/35 "2005-09-16T23:53:49Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > You can buy an anthrax detector for about $150,000. Much cheaper is to have your least favorite child or pet open the mail. Will you let me use this as a sigline sometime? ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/36 "2005-09-16T23:59:29Z")
Per usual, [url=http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99anewswatch.phtml]an SNL transcript is appropriate.[/url ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/37 "2005-09-17T00:01:38Z")
Arrgh, I meant, of course, [this.](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99anewswatch.phtml) ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/38 "2005-09-17T00:59:16Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Don’t worry, all the birds carrying the flu will be stung to death by killer bees. The WNV should result in an interesting mutation of the bees. Cross-bred with fire ants and cicadas, we could end up with a 17 year insect from hell! ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/39 "2005-09-17T21:27:39Z")
> [@Dark Side of the Floyd](#): > > Will you let me use this as a sigline sometime? Feel free. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978/40 "2005-09-17T21:48:47Z")
> [@ParadoxMan](#): > > So screw you Primetime for giving my wife a panic attack. Now we’ll have to move out in to the desert, in an underground bunker, away from any potential contact with any people. It took a Primetime Live story to get you thinking about that? That’s been my goal since I was about 7. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-all-going-to-die/321978.md?page=3)