# We're getting married **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707 "2015-04-15T02:13:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/21 "2015-04-15T18:13:47Z")
Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/22 "2015-04-15T18:19:09Z")
Congratulations. I entered a marriage of financial convenience 37 years ago, still married to her, so it’s done and sometimes it works. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/23 "2015-04-15T18:26:25Z")
Warmest congratulations! When you find the right person, it’s an amazing thing. The **Heiress** and I will mark 25 years of happy marriage in August. ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/24 "2015-04-15T19:47:08Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Of course, it’s a big deal that we can do it and have it recognized by Uncle Sam and his minions, not to mention my own state (California). California, you say? You might want to hurry. Contrary to popular belief, the U.S. Supreme Court did not declare California’s Proposition 8 unconstitutional; it just refused to hear a particular appeal of a federal appeals court ruling. There is supposed to be a ruling at the end of the term (June 29 or 30, I am assuming, based on the calendar on the Court’s website) concerning whether or not state laws recognizing only different-sex marriages violate the Constitution; if they are upheld, then it is not clear if that decision would apply to California or not (“We determine that states have the right to recognize only ‘one man and one women’ marriages…except in California, because neither the governor nor the attorney general will appeal a lower court ruling that contradicts this opinion” doesn’t make sense). However, when Proposition 8 was upheld by California’s state Supreme Court, that court ruled that it did not apply retroactively to marriages conducted in California that were legal at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/25 "2015-04-15T23:56:49Z")
I’m not worried about California, frankly. I suppose Prop 8 is in some kind of limbo, but if the state government is not going to recognize it’s validity and is not going to enforce it, then the Supremes would have to reverse the district court ruling, which they have already declined to do. In any case, this is why I was holding out for no marriage for us until everything was clear legally. But this is one case where close is close enough. I’m tired of fussing about the politics of this issue. Thanks for all the well-wishes, everyone. The reason we’re not having anything like a reception is because we are both completely uncomfortable with any fuss. So we’ll lift a glass to ourselves and call it a day. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/26 "2015-04-16T00:22:24Z")
My marriage of convenience crack referred to the very-partial marriage of financial convenience nature of your union. I’m not romantic, so it strikes me as a very logical reason to marry. The La Migra crack, well, I got lucky with that, nailing my mouth with both feet. No offense intended, and I hope none taken. So have you two gotten married yet? You’ve been talking about it for nearly a day! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/27 "2015-04-16T00:30:54Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > We’re a gay couple, and we will have been together almost 23 years when we tie the knot at the end of this month. So this doesn’t change anything for us emotionally - we have been committed to each other through thick and thin (thicker in my case at least) for all that time. A) Congrats – and fantastic that you can do it. It was a long fight against ignorance but it was worth it. B) Don’t be surprised if some things do change; more for the better than anything else. My wife and I were together for 22 years before we made it legal. We thought the same thing; and were very surprised some months later to find we were wrong. That was like 15 years back so it clearly was good. But in odd little emotional ways it was different. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/28 "2015-04-16T00:57:40Z")
I’m not usually enthusiastic about people rushing into marriage after barely two decades, but somehow I think you two crazy kids can make it 🙂 Sincere congratulations and best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/29 "2015-04-16T01:03:00Z")
Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/30 "2015-04-16T02:42:56Z")
Congratulations! I am very happy for you 🙂 I remember you were talking about your boyfriend being very stressed and sick and/or depressed recently so I hope this is making him very happy as well! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/31 "2015-04-16T03:33:48Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I’m not worried about California, frankly… > > In any case, this is why I was holding out for no marriage for us until everything was clear legally… FWIW, Linda Greenhouse, longtime Supreme Court correspondent for the NYT, predicted recently that the Supremes will rule in the next few months that SSM must be made available in all states. We shall see; hope she’s right. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/32 "2015-04-16T04:02:52Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Congratulations! I am very happy for you 🙂 > > I remember you were talking about your boyfriend being very stressed and sick and/or depressed recently so I hope this is making him very happy as well! Nice of you to remember. I think he was going through a transition, of getting used to the ways our lives have changed since I retired. Or something. He does seem back to normal now. Kind of funny, to me: at one time he said he would never get married because he didn’t want to have to call me his “husband”, he thought it was too weird. This doesn’t seem to bother him any more. [QUOTE=kopek] But in odd little emotional ways it was different. [/QUOTE] Please tell me more… ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2015, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/33 "2015-05-04T06:14:04Z")
We did the deed on April 30th in an office with a judge. I was surprised at how nervous (or something like nervous) I was in the few hours before the ceremony. I also didn’t expect to feel any real difference, since we have been together for 23 years, but the relationship seems more solid now than it did before. I can’t quite explain that, but that’s how it feels. Thanks again to everyone for your good wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2015, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/34 "2015-05-04T07:28:30Z")
Pics? ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2015, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/35 "2015-05-04T08:37:37Z")
Congratulations to both of you 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2015, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/36 "2015-05-04T11:46:58Z")
So happy for you both! Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2015, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/37 "2015-05-04T12:02:17Z")
Mazel Tov! Congratulations on your elopement. That’s how me and my Other Half did it 25 years ago. May you have a long and happy life together. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/38 "2015-05-04T23:57:04Z")
Congratulations! I wish we could get our act together here in Texas. Maybe we’ll rejoin the civilized world one of these days. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/39 "2015-05-05T01:46:40Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > We did the deed on April 30th in an office with a judge. I was surprised at how nervous (or something like nervous) I was in the few hours before the ceremony. > > I also didn’t expect to feel any real difference, since we have been together for 23 years, but the relationship seems more solid now than it did before. I can’t quite explain that, but that’s how it feels. > > Thanks again to everyone for your good wishes. Call me old fashioned but it’s not a wedding without cake!😃 That’s a joke, I say son, that’s a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707/40 "2015-05-05T02:23:07Z")
Delighted for you both! Here’s to a long and happy life together. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-getting-married/717707.md?page=1)