# We're gonna have a happy topic if it kills us. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966 "2000-04-13T15:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/21 "2000-04-13T18:03:00Z")
Let’s see happy thoughts… A hug from purplebear. Satan liked my 100th post. My wife also makes more money, is smarter and good looking. ## Keep clapping boys and girls - Tink is breathing again. “My mind reels with sarcastic replies!” - Snoopy ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/22 "2000-04-13T18:10:00Z")
I don’t have a wife. ☹ But I do have sensitive nipples. That’s a happy thought, isn’t it? Well at least it is to me! 😃 * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank “Mom, he’s a neo Nazi! He’s a doctor also? Well…” - WallyM7 ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/23 "2000-04-13T18:15:00Z")
My happy thing: fantasizing about Mullinator’s wife from Ukulele Ike’s description. No really: Today I’m choosing a nice vacation resort on Tortola Island (UK Virgin Islands). Just reading the descriptions of the various hotels is bringing a smile to my face. If you wish, you can travel there in imagination… “The complex is set on steeply sloping land, a brisk walk above a sandy beach, at the base of a steeply forested hillside.” “The Beach Café, located in the ruins of an old sugar mill, offers breakfast and lunch. The Garden Restaurant offers a tantalizing variety of local and international dishes.” “This cottage colony is set in lush foliage on the site of a 300-year-old sugar mill on the north side of Tortola. It sweeps down the hillside to its own little beach, with flowers and fruits brightening the grounds.” “Most sought after are the beachfront rooms, only steps from the surf; they have an airy tropical feeling, with tiled floors, balconies, patios and screened jalousies.” " … on of the best dining excursions on the island. It’s on one of Tortola’s loftiest peaks, at a breezy 1,337 feet in elevation, and offers views of the surrounding Virgin Islands. The fresh pumpkin soup is an island favourite, but you can also begin with seafood chowder or - our favourite - mushrooms stuffed with conch." Smugglers Cove, a beach known for the beauty of its sands and its tranquillity … is a lovely crescent of white sand, with beautiful palm trees and calm turquoise waters." “Another top dive site is a brillian coral wall with the evocative name of Alice in Wonderland… This dreamlike site earned its name because of its monstruous overhangs, large mushroom-shaped corals, rainbow-hued colours, and wide variety of sea animals, including everything from the longnose butterfly fish to garden eels.” etc…, etc… I am skipping over the descriptions of the rain forest, and the botanical garden starring the “flamboyant tree.” When asked “Where are the British Virgin Islands”, Sir Winston Churchill replied “I have no idea, but I should think that they are as far as possible from the Isle of Man.” ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/24 "2000-04-13T18:18:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Joe\_Cool: > \*\* I don’t like sweet cuddly puppies. People can abuse them or steal them. Can I have your puppies after they grow up into fearless 100-pound masses of muscle and teeth? a whole yard full of Rottweilers. :)\*\* You can have one, I want to keep the rest, I love dogs too, not just when they are puppies * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/25 "2000-04-13T18:19:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by ultress: > \*\*Somehow, in the jest of all this, I think I’d rather have the puppies. A whole yard full of sweet, cuddly, puppies. > \*\* I don’t know…doesn’t that mean a whole yard full of puppy poop??? SORRY…off thread!!! ---
**Author:** ![ralphredan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f4b2a3/32.png) [@ralphredan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralphredan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/26 "2000-04-13T18:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Mullinator: > \*\*So, just picture good things like puppies, mountain climbing, a fast internet connection, the re-release of the movie “Hoosiers”, cash windfalls, and getting to work in the same office as your wife. > \*\* What a nice memory you revived for me (no irony): I worked with my wife twice (got her hired on both times - I was R&D, she was front office management). She told her shrink I was keeping her at home and wouldn’t let her work and was stifling her ambitions. I guess she said that to get sympathy. But, she (the shrink) challenged me at a group therapy meeting where spouses were invited. When the truth came out, it triggered a confession that everything she(wife) had told the shrink was BS. Some of the others in the group also confessed to making up stuff about their spouses, and the meeting turned into a yell/sob fest. ## Why does this make me happy? I’m single again! And it feel so good. It’s sunny today in the RSA. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/27 "2000-04-13T18:39:00Z")
I think “The West Wing” is just an excellent show. Last night was a repeat of the Christmas show. In the final sequence, they interlaced a child choir singing “Little Drummer Boy” with a color-guard funeral for a homeless vet. Sometimes TPTB in TVLand do something so original and moving that it gives me chills watching it. On top of that, there are few things in life more satisfying than watching a bunch of good looking young men in uniforms. Good for the soul. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/28 "2000-04-14T01:44:00Z")
My latest litter of kittens (two little girls) are living in my computer room with their mom so I can combine computer time with socializing the kittens. They are about 4 weeks old, so are big enough to be out of their kittening box exploring. They are usually curled up together on their bed when I come in. I always say something like “Hi sweet babies, what are you doing today? Is momma taking good care of you?” when I come in. Both little darlings start making little squeaky meows and toddling their pudgy little selves over to me as fast as they can waddle, with their little fat tails stuck straight up in the air . . . My heart just melts. * * * You’ve got a point there, brother - and one of these days I’m going to figure out what it is. - Cecil Adams ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/29 "2000-04-14T01:56:00Z")
::gag:: ::barf:: Will someone _please_ put me out of my misery? ::ralph:: ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/30 "2000-04-14T02:09:00Z")
A co-worker/friend’s dog was hit and killed by a car Sunday morning. The whole family was grieving (including the remaining dog and the cats), people brought covered dishes, the whole shebang. (“Bear” was the “house” dog, a chow-mix, age 11, who never, ever went into the road.) Today (actually yesterday) they became proud parents of a stray chow-mix puppy girl who fortuitously wandered into their farmyard. I am not making this up. They’re thinking of naming her Luigi. (I’m gonna go find that new puppy thread – there’s gotta be something better than that.) A door closes, another opens. Sorry for the (temporary) downer. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/31 "2000-04-14T02:22:00Z")
A happy thread? Oh no! Not that! Anything but that! Please! Make it stop! Actually, I’m just kidding. The hubby and I finally joined the 20th Century (one century too late) by buying a cell phone this weekend. I also bought a new PC game, “The Sims”, which I have become hopelessly addicted to. * * * Shadowfox **"I’m just lookin’ out for you man. For all you know, that chic could be a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak!"** - Courtesy of Lexicon ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/32 "2000-04-14T05:17:00Z")
I’m bringing my new funny phrase, courtesy of Rose: \*\*My mom has a made-up word for the dog bombs in the back yard: Scoop-doody. She ususally uses it as a noun, as in ‘don’t step in the scoop-doody’ or ‘look at all the scoop-doody’. Cracks me up every time. Rose \*\* - Why couldn’t my mom have been funny??\* 😃 * * * “Please Disregard the Following.” ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/33 "2000-04-14T05:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Trion: > \*\*Let’s see happy thoughts… > > A hug from purplebear. > > Keep clapping boys and girls - Tink is breathing again. > > \*\* Thank you, Trion! Anytime. Lots more where that came from too. 😉 * * * You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming. Og Mandino That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\ ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/34 "2000-04-14T05:34:00Z")
> [@](#): > > But I do have sensitive nipples. That’s a happy thought, isn’t it? droooooooooooooooooooooool. Damn, now look what you’ve gone and made me do! I stained my favorite Abercrombie t-shirt. Actually, thanks, you did me a favor. Lexicon’s fav food=female nipples. The sensitive kind. * * * Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/35 "2000-04-14T05:36:00Z")
The Plutos have been extremely fortunate recently (see the “I got a big raise!” thread) but the latest bit of good news is that Mrs. Pluto got transferred to a different store. She really, really likes her job. (She’s a stock manager for a retail clothing chain. You’ve seen their ads. Are you a jean or a khaki?) But she was so frustrated with a couple of middle managers that she had reached the point where she couldn’t work there anymore. When she told the store manager she was quitting, the manager (who is not one of the people she was having a problem with) told her she was too valuable to lose and arranged to have her transferred. The new store is a little closer to home and the hours are way better too. Happy ending! Hooray! ---
**Author:** ![TripleAnt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TripleAnt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TripleAnt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/36 "2000-04-14T06:13:00Z")
Just found out I’m getting a nice scholarship from the college I’m transferring to this fall. That doesn’t suck. * * * This is the most exciting thing I’ve seen since Halley’s Comet collided with the moon. ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/37 "2000-04-14T06:20:00Z")
_experiences warm fuzzy feelings_ What?!? You want to know about what?!? Get out of my mind you… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/38 "2000-04-14T06:33:00Z")
Okay, okay… I’ll cave to public pressure before it starts (kinda like a pre-emptive retalitory strike huh?) What thoughts make me happy? Snuggling with a special girl under a warm doona while the rain tumbles down on the tin roof; baby ducks; curious kids; smiles; seeing faith and trust in other people; The Princess Bride; spontaneous mischief; good friends… oh, and people who believe every Australian has a pet kangaroo. * * * The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/39 "2000-04-14T10:57:00Z")
OMG every Australian doesn’t have a pet kangaroo??? * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966/40 "2000-04-14T13:26:00Z")
Well, I have never met Ukulele Lady, but I am willing to believe Ike if he says she earns more moola than he does. But I insist he is just being chivalrous when he claims she is smarter and better-looking than he is. If this is true, I just might consider lesbianism . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-gonna-have-a-happy-topic-if-it-kills-us/15966.md?page=3)