# We're having twins. Advice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881 "2011-09-20T00:14:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/41 "2011-09-21T07:34:26Z")
No twins in my immediate family, but I know families which include both twins and Irish twins and they say the first ones are easier; they tend to need the same thing at the same time, which is complicated, but less so than having one need changing while the other one is jumping up and down asking for potty. One of my mother’s neighbors has twins; nowadays (aged 2) they’re easy to distinguish, but when they were little they drew their initials on one foot sole with permanent marker. A for Alicia on the left, C for Carmen on the right. They haven’t started wearing identical clothing until they became easy to tell apart: previously there would always be something red on Alicia and something green on Carmen. They’re identical twins and Mom says she can’t tell them apart, but for me it’s evident: Alicia has more-regular factions and moves a lot less - you can tell them apart from the back because the one with messy hair is Carmen. The Nephew agrees with my analysis and will get mad at anybody who says Alicia is “prettier” - “more-regular factions” is acceptable 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/42 "2011-09-21T11:34:21Z")
I do know that it’s a high-rick pregnancy- I’m looking for an OB to transfer to (I started out with RN midwives, which is what I had with my other two). My previous pregnancies both became complicated, so I’m somewhat familiar with what can happen- I was on bedrest last time, and we’re doing some planning for it this time, since it’s likely. The most complicated thing is my older son’s care, because diabetes in three year olds is tricky, and needs lots of hands-on management. I had emergency c-sections both times previously- I’m hoping for a c-section that isn’t ad midnight this time. That would be nice. I’m already working on getting Gnat, my older one, excited about the babies. He was quite good about his little brother arriving, so I’m hopeful. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/43 "2011-09-21T12:17:00Z")
My neighbor had twins, and one of her many clever management tips dealt with clothes. Her identical girls wore jeans or jean shorts, and whatever variety of tops she could get ahold of. She didn’t try to match their outfits at all, but at least it was easy to pick out a top that would go with the bottoms. (She said she had to do it this way because her husband would never find anything that matched when he dressed them.) With your older ones maybe passing down some clothes it may not be an issue. I used to watch tv shows about multiples, and I always thought if I had 4 (or 5 or 6) multiples, they’d have blue bottoms and red tops, and nothing else ever until they got old enough to buy their own clothes. 🙂 Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/44 "2011-09-21T12:23:55Z")
Monstro is right - sure, most acquaintances can tell apart older identical twins, but tiny babies are a whole different story. If they come out with hair, I think I might cut/shave off a patch on one twin. Nail polish and marker wash off. Hair, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/45 "2011-09-21T18:07:35Z")
Figure out which one is the evil twin and take extra care with that one. With boys, you have to wait for puberty and the early appearance of a goatee to be sure. Not sure how you do it with girls. According to my mom, who is an identical twin, her sister was definitely the evil one. She would end up getting both pieces of cake _and_ getting my mother in trouble for eating both pieces. My aunt tells this story differently. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/46 "2011-09-21T18:34:36Z")
Congrats on the twins! If you were hoping for two more kids, this is definitely a good way to go (or so says my cousin, my kids are 14 months apart). > [@Lissla\_Lissar](#): > > Gnat is theoretically toilet trained, although in actuality he wets himself about four times a day, which is a pain. He doesn’t seem to care. I’m pondering incentives for staying dry and disincentives for wetting himself. It’s partly because of a combination of little boy who doesn’t want to stop and diabetes- trying to get a preschooler to go to the bathroom every ten minutes is difficult. Fair warning. Even if he is 100% bulletproof by the time the babies are born, he will regress. This goes not just with toilet training but with any developmental things. He may forget how to eat with a spoon if that was recent, start throwing tantrums again even though you hadn’t seen them in months. Anything that upsets a child’s routine can cause backslides. Additional attention from outsiders can help but ultimately, you will need to carve out time to be their mom for a little while each day. (This is where all the helpers come in. They want to hold the babies so you pass them off and read to your toddler, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/47 "2011-09-21T22:36:58Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > No twins in my immediate family, but I know families which include both twins and Irish twins and they say the first ones are easier… WTF are “Irish twins?” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/48 "2011-09-21T22:38:41Z")
Twins less than a year apart. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/49 "2011-09-22T01:36:12Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Congrats!!! > > No experience with twins of my own, but please please please try to avoid the cutesy matching outfits I often see twins wearing. We will all thank you for it. 🙂 As a twin, +1 on this. I wish I had a nickel for every time my brother and I got made fun of at school. And this was in the mid to late seventies. You can just imagine the outfits my mother would put us in. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/50 "2011-09-22T11:40:40Z")
Irish twins are babies born under eighteen months apart. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/51 "2011-09-22T23:04:46Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > As a twin, +1 on this. I wish I had a nickel for every time my brother and I got made fun of at school. And this was in the mid to late seventies. You can just imagine the outfits my mother would put us in. My mother forced my sister and me to dress the same up until middle school. By that time we were fed up with it and put our foot down. There was an argument about it and everything. Some parents really play up the twin thing, without thinking about the ramifications on their kids’ coolness factor. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/52 "2011-09-23T01:09:41Z")
As a [del]survivor[/del] parent of twins here’s what I learned. Forget about matching names, matching outfits and all that cute stuff. They’ll grow out/wear them out at different rates anyway. If you want to match anything, hope for it to be their schedules. It doesn’t matter how much they look alike, they have different personalities, just like other siblings. Twins are not twice the work, they’re four times the work. It’s exponential. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/53 "2011-09-23T01:50:54Z")
> [@jonesj2205](#): > > Congrats. I don’t have twins, but I do have quads and have survived so far (they’re 14), just take my advice and cut it half. Actually that’s probably a good idea normally: Have you done an “Ask the…” thread? Quads! Lissa, my sister has twins (tied for second in a family of four kids) and she tandem nursed. She also had to go the bedrest/cerclage route, but everyone came out perfectly healthy. Congrats! And…congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/54 "2011-09-23T11:32:27Z")
Oh. _four_ times the work! Great! It’ll be like having six kids without the extra pregnancies! Aagh. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/55 "2011-09-23T17:27:24Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > As a [del]survivor[/del] parent of twins here’s what I learned. > > Forget about matching names, matching outfits and all that cute stuff. They’ll grow out/wear them out at different rates anyway. If you want to match anything, hope for it to be their schedules. > > It doesn’t matter how much they look alike, they have different personalities, just like other siblings. > > Twins are not twice the work, they’re four times the work. It’s exponential. They’re NOT four times the work. Sheesh, way to scare the crap out of folks!😃 Of course, I say that with the understanding that we didn’t breastfeed. It may be four times the work if you have to manufacture the milk, too. In our house, for the vast majority of the time, twins were 120% of the work. (With the express exception of the weekend they had Rotavirus, I have NEVER been tested so.) ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/56 "2011-09-23T19:13:54Z")
Well, that’s good. We’ve already got a preschooler who’s roughly 250% of the work of a normal kid. An extra 400% would kill us. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/57 "2011-09-23T19:17:47Z")
> [@Lissla\_Lissar](#): > > It’ll be like having six kids without the extra pregnancies! Hon, considering what shitty pregnancies you tend to have, I’d say the underlined part is good news! ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881/58 "2011-09-23T21:35:28Z")
This is true. It would be a bright side. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/were-having-twins-advice/596881.md?page=2)