What I want to know is, when it came time for Noah to load a great white shark onto the ark, did he say, “We’re going to need a bigger boat”?
I don’t know why the OP is asking for derails. This thread go derailed before it even started.
And it looks like we have the latest entry in the “banned inside of a month club”.
DERAIL!
Yeah, baby! That’s a point for me. Read 'em and weep suckers! Me - 1, Everybody Else - 0. Who’s the Derail Game master? That’s right, this guy right here!
MORNINGTON CRESCENT!!!
I’m not sure I completely understand what’s going on here.
There are estimates that insects make up 90% of the biomass on the earth. I have a sister who not only refused to go into the Bug House at the Cincinnati Zoo, she freaked out while she was waiting for us outside, as she was worried about escapees. It’s a good thing she wasn’t Noah’s wife.
This is funny, but, no offense to your sister, it also makes me kinda sad. I know, maybe we should call bugs Garden Kittens.
Not wanting to derail the discussion, but being a big Eddie Izzard fan, I wonder if there were any ducks on the Ark? (Referring here of course to all waterfowl equipped to long extended periods just floating/swimming along on top of the water, whether it’s raining or not.) In fact, wouldn’t the otters also not want to get onto the noisy, crowded Ark and prefer to just kip about on their backs? Probably lots of animals I’m not thinking of.
In my experience with viewing Canada Geese, while they certainly spend a lot of time floating, I’ve only ever seen them eat on land.
Wait, did this thread actually turn into a debate about whether there were fish in the Ark?
Yeah well, the death of all the kittehs bar 2 (or 14?), things’re bound to get a bit sad 
And what about the whales? Do they count as fish if we’re being all biblical?
Isn’t it interesting that almost the entire OP is a derailment of itself.
[QUOTE=Filbert]
Yeah well, the death of all the kittehs bar 2 (or 14?), things’re bound to get a bit sad
[/QUOTE]
My sediments exactly, except that I think kitteh would survive regardless and RULZ TEH WURLD! :eek:
Of course they count…I believe in base 5, though I could be mistaken. Besides, what do you think kitteh would eat on da arc??
-XT
Especially since, if she was Noah’s wife, she wouldn’t actually exist.
Emzara, the granddaughter of Methuselah, didn’t exist? OK, John, you’ve gone beyond the pale here. Tsk, tsk.
Well, which Noah exactly? I’ve known married Noahs.
And what does the bible have to say about kangaroos and wallabies? Were they considered clean or unclean when Noah collected all the animals to put on the Ark?
Genesis 7:2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee seven and seven, the male and his female; and of the beasts that are not clean two, the male and his female.
How did Noah get the kangaroos to put on the Ark anyway? (I suspect that God did it)
So, in order to cover the entire Earth, god would have had to dump about 9km worth of water over the entire surface.
That would make the water pressure at normal sea level ~900 atmospheres. That’s way too deep for any fish you’d ever, say, deep fry, only extremely specialized species can survive at depths like that. When brought up from those depths they tend to disintegrate in lower pressure water.
Disintegrated fish don’t deep fry very well.
Now, the people that made up the Noah story were primitive morons, so it’s not surprising they didn’t know that most fish have very specific environmental requirements and can’t survive without the proper salinity, pressure, oxygen levels, temperature, etc. They’d also never been to the challenger deep, not even once in 1960 for 20 minutes.
Speaking of which, the water pressure at the bottom of the Noah-flooded challenger deep would have been almost 2000 atmospheres.
Anyway, the takeaway from this is that all of the fish and cetaceans would have died. Without sunlight for 40 days and under considerably more pressure than they’d ever experienced, the ocean’s plant life would also have died. Total environmental collapse. Of course, everything on land would have been washed away as well. Noah and company would have landed on a barren ball of stinking mud with nothing but what was carried in the ark.
The conclusion is obvious: Noah and everyone on the ark, along with whatever animals they brought with them, quickly died of starvation after the waters receded. Then we showed up in our spaceship full of telephone sanitizers and took up residence.
It’s totally obvious.
Your ideas intrigue me, and I would like to subscribe to your [del]Bible[/del] newsletter.
[QUOTE=buckgully]
The conclusion is obvious: Noah and everyone on the ark, along with whatever animals they brought with them, quickly died of starvation after the waters receded. Then we showed up in our spaceship full of telephone sanitizers and took up residence.
[/QUOTE]
Except for kitteh…they would have survived on whales. It’s totally obvious.
-XT
Well, about 5.1 km of water if all you want to do is cover Mt. Ararat. That amounts to 5.3 meters of rainfall/day for 40 days.