# Wesley Clark is your keyboard broken (persnickety) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 10, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464 "2005-08-10T16:39:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/1 "2005-08-10T16:39:52Z")
This is probably going to be one of the most petty Pit complaints ever, but I think it needs to be said. I have never once seen **Wesley Clark** use a question mark in any of his OP titles, even when they’re written as questions. Here’s a sampling of his OP titles, just from the past few days: —Can you replace striking workers —What cars are the hardest & easiest to resell —are there ways to get political accountability on an international scale, should we —Should I go with netflix or blockbuster online If you’re not going to use a fucking (okay I justified this being in the Pit now) question mark, for the love of god PLEASE reword the statement so you don’t have to use one. In that case, your OP titles would read: —I would like to know if striking workers can be replaced —Car reselling: help me out —Political accountability on an international scale —Netflix vs. Blockbuster Online I know you have a question mark key, you’ve used it in the body of posts. So why not your OP titles, **Wesley**? Is this a manifestation of your 24-hour schizophrenia? Also, you might want to brush up on your capitalization skills. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/2 "2005-08-10T16:52:20Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > This is probably going to be one of the most petty Pit complaints ever, but I think it needs to be said. I have never once seen **Wesley Clark** use a question mark in any of his OP titles. I just wish he’d ask interesting questions. Or fewer vapid ones. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/3 "2005-08-10T16:53:28Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > This is probably going to be one of the most petty Pit complaints ever… You’re right, it was. > [@continuity eror](#): > > …but I think it needs to be said. No, it really doesn’t. But, thanks anyway. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/4 "2005-08-10T16:54:51Z")
Christ with so much to complain about regarding **Westley** , you choose question marks? What about the fifty stupid new threads a day that push everybody else off the front page? ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/5 "2005-08-10T17:00:39Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Christ with so much to complain about regarding **Westley** , you choose question marks? What about the fifty stupid new threads a day that push everybody else off the front page? Well, no, it’s not just the question marks. Personally, I’m more offended by the claims of temporary schizophrenia and his attitude towards women. And of course the fact that he posts the same things over and over. And over and over. Many, many times a day. If you all want to use this as a jumping-off post to complain about other things relating to WC, by all means go ahead. It’s not like there isn’t lots to say. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/6 "2005-08-10T17:03:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Wesley Clark is your keyboard broken Gaudere strikes again. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/7 "2005-08-10T17:05:06Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Gaudere strikes again. I’m guessing that was intentional. Punctuational mockery, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/8 "2005-08-10T17:06:15Z")
I gotta ask: **Wesley** , do you actually make any decisions on your own? > [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Gaudere strikes again. I read that as intentional and mocking. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/9 "2005-08-10T17:07:29Z")
I meant the missing comma, not the missing question mark, but whatever. You’ll see my Gaudere and raise me a whoosh. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/10 "2005-08-10T17:08:10Z")
**???** ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/11 "2005-08-10T17:10:10Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > I meant the missing comma, not the missing question mark, but whatever. Ha! I completely missed that. Good call. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/12 "2005-08-10T17:12:37Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > Personally, I’m more offended by the claims of temporary schizophrenia and his attitude towards women. Ok, but why pick the LEAST offensive nit to pick? As it is, your OP is just petty-sounding and takes you down with it. By all means, pit him for those other things and if you must, mention the question mark thing in passing. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/13 "2005-08-10T17:13:59Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > I meant the missing comma, not the missing question mark, but whatever. You’ll see my Gaudere and raise me a whoosh. 😉 That was intentional too; **Wesley** ’s not too swift on commas either. And yeah, I really shouldn’t have singled out question marks, especially not now that I’ve remembered [this gem of a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=286416&highlight=semen+wesley+clark). (Again, what the fucking fuck?) But this is my first time pitting an individual member, so I thought it best to go slow. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/14 "2005-08-10T17:14:54Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Gaudere strikes again. It seeme to me he might have done that on purpose, in order to acheive a kind of mocking tone. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/15 "2005-08-10T17:15:31Z")
The thing which gets me is his absolute _gift_ for asking (not neccessarily stupid) questions in ways that sound incredibly stupid. Take for example “what cars are the hardest and easiest to resell” Asked by someone elseI might read it because it could provide interesting insight into how people buy used cars. Asked by Wesley, I want to roll my eyes and say"Did you try thinking about it first? Did you use Google? (I’d be shocked if the Car Talk guys didn’t have some insights on this subject worth investigating) Did you ask your friends? (Do you have friends?)" Actually, his worst recent question would have to be the one where he wondered how to sell a car and what to do after you sold the car until you bought a new car- which made me wonder whether it occured to him that buying the new vehicle first might be simpler. There are undoubtably reasons why buying a new car first is not always possible, but that question didn’t just make me roll my eyes- it made me want to shake him. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/16 "2005-08-10T17:17:49Z")
i wasonce ona mailing list whereone guywould not capitalize or punctuate atall andsometimes hewouldnt even put inspaces i cant even immitate the aggregious misspellingsthat wouldsometimespop up to when we calledhim out on his illegiblequestions andcomments hesaid that hewas beingconsiderate bynot wasting bandwidth yah like punctuation is goingto bringdown the entire internet asif ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/17 "2005-08-10T17:21:33Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > And yeah, I really shouldn’t have singled out question marks, especially not now that I’ve remembered [this gem of a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=286416&highlight=semen+wesley+clark). Thanks so much, **eror**. I think my brain just turned orange and black. Lordy, that link needs a serious TMI warning. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/18 "2005-08-10T17:33:39Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > Ok, but why pick the LEAST offensive nit to pick? Okay, here’s some more major ones: —He asks the same questions over and over. Many of these questions involve his inability to get a date or questions about coupons, or about bargains in general. He often gets on one topic and stays on it for weeks. The current topic seems to be cars. We can look forward to seeing at least three posts a day relating to the topic on the front page, which he always tops. I think the most threads I’ve ever seen by him in the front page of one forum is seven. It’s good the lad is involved in something, but seriously dude, quality not quantity. Surely you can fit several of your questions into one post? —He constantly makes references to his “history of mental illness” but uses vague descriptors to define it, which leads me to think he’s making the whole thing up. IIRC and I think I do, he said he “got over” schizophrenia by reading about the symptoms on a website, realizing “that’s me,” and halting his delusions full-stop. As someone with schizophrenic relatives who has done a lot of reading about it and knows that’s not possible, I find this offensive. Also, he tries to give other people advice about mental illness, which comes off as uneducated, and may be dangerous under the circumstances. —He’s miserly, and not in a cute penny-pinching way like a lot of college students. I seriously wonder if all this guy does is sit around figuring out how to get the best deals on restaurant food. Like, saving money is good and all, and I don’t think it’s bad to clip coupons (and I wouldn’t be taken aback if someone used them on a date, either… I’ve done it), but do you have to TALK about it all the time? He’s also said it’s a goal of his to live like a monk, at the barest subsistence level of poverty, and then wonders why he can’t attract a woman. It’s not because all women want a rich guy; it’s because a lot of women want families and most of us don’t want our kids to grow up on the poverty line, especially when there is no reason to. WHY are you such a miser, **Wesley**? Yeah, there’s a lot more nits to pick than question marks. I’ve barely scratched the surface of why this dude grates on my nerves. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/19 "2005-08-10T17:34:58Z")
I’m going to defend \*\*Wesley \*\*here, though not for his punctuation. For whatever reason, his threads generate some of the most entertaining reading that ever graces these boards. Does anyone remember the [coupon thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=271908&highlight=coupon+Wesley+pizza), for example? Without people like **Wesley** , this place would would offer nothing more than decorous chitchat. So sling away at him – it’s entertaining me. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/20 "2005-08-10T19:50:19Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > That was intentional too. Suuuuu_uuuuuu_uuure. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464.md?page=2)