# Wesley Clark is your keyboard broken (persnickety) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 10, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464 "2005-08-10T16:39:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/21 "2005-08-10T19:55:30Z")
He should be pitted for having a username that’s an actual living person. (Assuming he isn’t the actual Gen. Wesley Clark who ran for president in '04, a fairly safe bet I think). ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/22 "2005-08-10T20:07:47Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > He should be pitted for having a username that’s an actual living person. (Assuming he isn’t the actual Gen. Wesley Clark who ran for president in '04, a fairly safe bet I think). That too! I wonder if anyone from Clark’s presidential team ever ran across this site and wondered what the hell was up. > [@Sal Ammoniac](#): > > For whatever reason, his threads generate some of the most entertaining reading that ever graces these boards. I think the term for this is “rubbernecking.” You just can’t look away from a WC thread. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/23 "2005-08-10T20:11:13Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > You just can’t look away from a WC thread. I can. I make it a point never to read them. I never even mouse-over them. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/24 "2005-08-10T20:39:41Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I can. I make it a point never to read them. I never even mouse-over them. Maybe not anymore, but [you used to](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5490729&postcount=10)… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/25 "2005-08-10T20:40:30Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > I meant the missing comma, not the missing question mark, but whatever. You’ll see my Gaudere and raise me a whoosh. 😉 Colour me confused - what missing comma? The only thing I see missing is a hyphen after Wesley Clark. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/26 "2005-08-10T20:41:33Z")
Oh - the missing comma after Wesley Clark. Okay, I’ll shut up now. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/27 "2005-08-10T20:48:22Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Maybe not anymore, but [you used to](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5490729&postcount=10)… 😉 Yanno, your “I am not a stalker” credibility just went _way_ down! ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/28 "2005-08-10T21:04:39Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > He should be pitted for having a username that’s an actual living person. (Assuming he isn’t the actual Gen. Wesley Clark who ran for president in '04, a fairly safe bet I think). Oh, I don’t know about pitting him for that. I think the most entertaining thing about his threads is imagining them actually being posted by the General. Especially the ones about coupons. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/29 "2005-08-10T21:05:10Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Yanno, your “I am not a stalker” credibility just went _way_ down! That thread was linked to in this thread! I’d just read your post in the other thread when I saw your post in this one! Honest! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/30 "2005-08-10T22:11:20Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > He should be pitted for having a username that’s an actual living person. (Assuming he isn’t the actual Gen. Wesley Clark who ran for president in '04, a fairly safe bet I think). > [@Revtim](#): > > He should be pitted for having a username that’s an actual living person. (Assuming he isn’t the actual Gen. Wesley Clark who ran for president in '04, a fairly safe bet I think). Man that pissed me off so damn much. The fucker joined in Aug., 2003 under the name of a guy running for President at the time. Pissed me off so much it was all I could do not to pit the fucker. I defy anyone to review the 750 threads HE HAS STARTED since january of last year without getting seriously frustrated. I mean holy fuck: What is the white stuff in my mouth after I brush my teeth What does a pencil taste like after I stick in my ass Can I eat 30 day old cum stained paper towels Do zebras have stripes or are all the pictures of them just photoshoped horses What weighs more a pound of feathers or a pound of buggers How can I get food that is freeer than free What diets can make me loose 200 lbs in 4 days without excercizing and allows me to eat nothing nothing but beer and ding dongs Is a quarter really worth 25 cents (ok only a few of these are actually Wesley, but they are all representative of the genre) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/31 "2005-08-10T23:08:45Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > (ok only a few of these are actually Wesley, but they are all representative of the genre) That was a great parody. It started semi-plausible and then gradually veered off. I never noticed the question mark thing, it’s a silly choice for a Pit Thread. I’d have Pitted the constant hailstorm of dumbass questions. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/32 "2005-08-10T23:50:16Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Man that pissed me off so damn much. The fucker joined in Aug., 2003 under the name of a guy running for President at the time. Pissed me off so much it was all I could do not to pit the fucker. > > I defy anyone to review the 750 threads HE HAS STARTED since january of last year without getting seriously frustrated. I mean holy fuck: > > 1)What is the white stuff in my mouth after I brush my teeth > > 2)What does a pencil taste like after I stick in my ass > > 3)Can I eat 30 day old cum stained paper towels > > 4)Do zebras have stripes or are all the pictures of them just photoshoped horses > > 5)What weighs more a pound of feathers or a pound of buggers > > 6)How can I get food that is freeer than free > > 8)What diets can make me loose 200 lbs in 4 days without excercizing and allows me to eat nothing nothing but beer and ding dongs > > 9)Is a quarter really worth 25 cents > (ok only a few of these are actually Wesley, but they are all representative of the genre) (…Numbering mine) **On my honor, I did not do a board search.** I’ll say 1,4,5,6 and 9 are the real ones. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/33 "2005-08-11T00:06:56Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > I meant the missing comma, not the missing question mark, but whatever. Too many commas, I think, but am too dizzy, to tell for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/34 "2005-08-11T01:46:57Z")
Wesley Clark (the SDMB poster, not the NATO General) reminds me a great deal of the late **Aldebaran**. Anyone else feel this way? It’s not so much the content of the posts, rather, the utter inability to accept any input whatsoever. Obviously, Aldebaran’s stuff was much more Islamic in nature, but there’s no denying they share a syndrome which I shall henceforth entitle “Aldebaran Syndrome” - namely, the capacity to pontificate for hours on end while simultaneously ignoring useful input. In short, those who suffer from Aldebaran Syndrome eventually end up shunned, I find. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/35 "2005-08-11T02:24:06Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > I’ve remembered [this gem of a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=286416&highlight=semen+wesley+clark). AAAAAHHH!!! What the FUCK!!! > [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > Wesley Clark (the SDMB poster, not the NATO General) reminds me a great deal of the late **Aldebaran**. Anyone else feel this way? It’s not so much the content of the posts, rather, the utter inability to accept any input whatsoever. Obviously, Aldebaran’s stuff was much more Islamic in nature, but there’s no denying they share a syndrome which I shall henceforth entitle “Aldebaran Syndrome” - namely, the capacity to pontificate for hours on end while simultaneously ignoring useful input. > > In short, those who suffer from Aldebaran Syndrome eventually end up shunned, I find. Actually, I think of him more as **Roland Deschain**. Please note that I am NOT accusing him of being a sock. Just that they both have some kind of creepy TMI problem-they must lack the little voice that tells us, “Hey-don’t post about THAT!” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/36 "2005-08-11T02:38:51Z")
Perhaps Wesley is truly schizophrenic. That would account for his alter ego Thin Lizzy. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/37 "2005-08-11T02:49:20Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Perhaps Wesley is truly schizophrenic. That would account for his alter ego Thin Lizzy. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: I am not accusing Wesley of having socks, wearing socks, darning socks, or knowing how to spell argyle. The same is true of my feelings, intentions, and iterations regarding Thin Lizzy. Limit 2 per customer. Must be over 21 years of age. No purchase required. Offer void in Wisconsin and other states who have hats shaped like cheese. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/38 "2005-08-11T03:50:51Z")
This is thread is in poor taste, IMHO… ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/39 "2005-08-11T04:58:28Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > This is thread is in poor taste, IMHO… [It’s not the only thing that is.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=286416&highlight=semen+wesley+clark) _d&r_ ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464/40 "2005-08-11T05:13:12Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > —He’s miserly, and not in a cute penny-pinching way like a lot of college students. I seriously wonder if all this guy does is sit around figuring out how to get the best deals on restaurant food. > … > He’s also said it’s a goal of his to live like a monk, at the barest subsistence level of poverty, and then wonders why he can’t attract a woman. It’s not because all women want a rich guy; it’s because a lot of women want families and most of us don’t want our kids to grow up on the poverty line, especially when there is no reason to. Well, I’ve never really followed **Wesley Clark** ’s posts here, so I don’t know what kind of voluntary poverty he’s aiming for, but in all fairness, many people decide to live a lifestyle that is based on working less, buying less, and spending more time with their family and doing stuff they like. Actually, I would probably be like that. I’d rather work less and have less stuff than work all the time and have to spend, spend, spend to maintain my “lifestyle”. And someone who chooses a simpler lifestyle is, as I said, more likely to be there for their family, so I don’t see why this should be a no-no when it comes to attracting a partner. Of course, maybe **Wesley** really wants to live a ascetic life. But then again, that’s a valid choice. And I’m sure that there are women who are aiming for this kind of lifestyle too (just fewer of them, in all probability, in the same way as men who want to live this kind of life are few and far between). I’m sure that not all women are looking for the same thing in a potential partner. At least, I certainly hope it’s not the case. This said, the orange semen thread was so TMIshly TMI that I can’t believe that he posted that. What.Was.He.Thinking? Well, we all say stupid stuff at times. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wesley-clark-is-your-keyboard-broken-persnickety/316464.md?page=3)