# Westerns with the strangest plots **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 7, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050 "2013-04-07T01:28:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/1 "2013-04-07T01:28:11Z")
Just watched one on Netflix called _Good for Nothing_. A very bad outlaw shoots up a bar and kidnaps a woman, but when he tries to rape her, he, uh, can’t perform. So about the first 3rd of the movie is him galloping around, carrying her along, looking for doctors with a cure for erectile dysfunction. It may also be the movie with the least dialog I’ve ever seen. Strange as it was, I ended up liking it a lot and gave it 4 stars. What ya got to beat that? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/2 "2013-04-07T01:42:12Z")
One of my favorite westerns is _The Oxbow Incident_. It wasn’t that it was strange, but it’s a very dark, almost noir-ish film about mob violence, with Henry Fonda doing the honors. Then there’s _Ravenous_, wherein frontier soldiers are eating human flesh. Technically, it’s a thriller, but takes place on the western frontier. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/3 "2013-04-07T01:45:49Z")
_Hang 'em High_, starring Clint Eastwood, starts with the lynching of the main character. I don’t remember most of the details, but I remember it as being not your typical Clint Eastwood movie. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/4 "2013-04-07T01:51:19Z")
[El lTopo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Topo). The only things I remember about this movie are the naked boy from the first act, and there being alot of dwarves. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/5 "2013-04-07T01:53:49Z")
Probably not what you had in mind, but I’ll suggest [Westworld](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070909/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1). ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/6 "2013-04-07T01:54:48Z")
[Tex, the Passive-Aggressive Gunslinger](http://vimeo.com/14837389). ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/7 "2013-04-07T01:55:08Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > [El lTopo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Topo). The only things I remember about this movie are the naked boy from the first act, and there being alot of dwarves. [The Terror Of Tiny Town](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Terror_of_Tiny_Town). Musical with an all-midget cast. Mounted on Shetland ponies. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/8 "2013-04-07T01:56:03Z")
[Sukiyaki Western Django](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0906665/) is stylishly weird, although the plot is pretty straight-forward. [Bunraku](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1181795/) is one of my favorite movies of the last decade. It’s about a gunman looking for revenge who teams up with a samurai to defeat The Woodman, a gang leader who controls the area. It’s filled with crazy awesome fights and some of the best lighting, sets and editing in recent memory. Truly awesome production design plus clown cars and ninjas! [The Good, the Bad, the Weird](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901487/) is about a couple of bounty hunters trying to get to a treasure map (and the treasure) while being pursued by bandits and the Japanese Army in Manchuria. It breaks down a bit in the 3rd act, but it’s still a lot of fun. Then there’s [The Valley of Gwangi](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065163/) which is about a cowboy who captures a T. Rex in the Forbidden Valley and then puts it on display in a Mexican Circus. I was a big fan of Ray Harryhausen as a kid, and he did the special effects. The first time I saw this was on a Saturday morning on WPIX and I remember loving the hell out of it. But surely the weirdest western ever was Jodorowsky’s [El Topo](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067866/). ETA: Dammit! Ninja’d by **alphaboi**! I’m trying to watch the Syracuse-Michigan game and can only type during commercial breaks! \ ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/9 "2013-04-07T03:31:44Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > [Sukiyaki Western Django](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0906665/) is stylishly weird, although the plot is pretty straight-forward. Featuring a Quentin Tarantino cameo where he speaks in a very, very odd accent. You know, it’s technically modern “neo-western,” but it’s Peckinpah, dammit: [Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bring_Me_the_Head_of_Alfredo_Garcia). ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/10 "2013-04-07T03:46:17Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Featuring a Quentin Tarantino cameo where he speaks in a very, very odd accent. > > You know, it’s technically modern “neo-western,” but it’s Peckinpah, dammit: [Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bring_Me_the_Head_of_Alfredo_Garcia). I know it’s not technically a Western, but I figured for the purposes of this thread, it was a good fit. And yeah, by “straight-forward” I meant “a story we’ve seen before dozens of times”. Also, Tarantino is easily the worst part of the movie. Most of the time I think he’s okay onscreen, but this was just gratuitous and superfluous and stinkerific. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/11 "2013-04-07T03:53:55Z")
Clint Eastwood’s _High Plains Drifter_ is pretty fucking weird. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/12 "2013-04-07T03:54:49Z")
How about [The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada](http://www.amazon.com/The-Three-Burials-Melquiades-Estrada/dp/B000F8O2QU/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1365306807&sr=8-5&keywords=the+two+burials+of)? Good movie; kinda weird. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/13 "2013-04-07T03:56:23Z")
[Johnny Guitar](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047136/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1): Nicholas Ray-directed effort that turns most western conventions on their head; Joan Crawford and Mercedes McCambridge play roles that in most other flicks would be the rancher patriarchs fighting over land, while Sterling Hayden and Scott Brady square off as Crawford’s former and current boy toys. Mighty racy stuff for the mid-fifties. [Zachariah](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068011/?ref_=sr_2): a bit hard to find, it’s a hippie-era headtrip featuring onscreen performances by The James Gang, Doug Kershaw, and the New York Rock and Roll Ensemble, with a screenplay by the Firesign Theatre, no less. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/14 "2013-04-07T03:57:46Z")
I remember a very curious western with a samurai and Charles Bronson.. Found it. Red Sun (1971) starring Charles Bronson, Ursula Andress, Toshirô Mifune, Alain Delon, Capucine > **[Red Sun (1971) - Plot - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067770/plotsummary/?ref_=tt_ov_pl)** > > Red Sun (1971) - Plot summary, synopsis, and more... > [@](#): > > The story takes place in Arizona, around 1870. Link and Gotch are two ruthless robbers that attack along with their men at the train which carries the ambassador of Japan over to Washington. During the robbery, Gotch takes a very valuable gold sword, which is a gift from the emperor to the president of the U.S. and tries to kill Link, so that he can take all the money for himself. Now Kuroda (the only survivor of the samurais that escorted the ambassador) and Link must leave their differences aside and work together. They both want to find Gotch, but for different reasons: Kuroda wants to take back the sword, and Link wants the stolen money. All this must be done in seven days, or the samurai will kill Link and himself. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/15 "2013-04-07T04:03:55Z")
Back to the Future III 😃 SFC Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/16 "2013-04-07T04:46:51Z")
I think Jim Jarmusch’s **Dead Man** is a pretty strange western. > **[Dead Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Man)** > > Dead Man is a 1995 American acid western film written and directed by Jim Jarmusch. It stars Johnny Depp, Gary Farmer, Billy Bob Thornton, Iggy Pop, Crispin Glover, John Hurt, Michael Wincott, Lance Henriksen, Gabriel Byrne, Mili Avital, and Robert Mitchum. The movie, set in the late 1800s, follows William Blake, a meek accountant on the run after murdering a man. He has a chance encounter with enigmatic Native American spirit-guide "Nobody", who believes Blake is the reincarnation of the visi... ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/17 "2013-04-07T05:00:18Z")
[Greaser’s Palace](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068659/). Just try to beat that one. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/18 "2013-04-07T05:14:12Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > [El lTopo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Topo). The only things I remember about this movie are the naked boy from the first act, and there being alot of dwarves. I don’t think it’s possible to top _El Topo_ for weirdest Western. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/19 "2013-04-07T07:24:33Z")
_Calamity Trail_, by Dan Parkinson, is…sort of hard to describe. Surreal slapstick dressed in Western clothing, with a twist of fantasy, maybe. It’s about a gentle, intelligent young artist from Boston whose tiniest actions often trigger cascades of bizarre, disastrous events. He’s sent away from Boston for his own safety after one of these mini-cataclysms. He sets out for the West to make his fortune, because he’s heard that’s where you go to do such things, and he needs a fortune to marry the beautiful girl he met at the train station. Along the way, he’s threatened and/or pursued by gunslingers, hillbillies, marshals, thugs, assassins, crooked businessmen, a land drummer, Indian art critics, a guy with a giant gear on his foot, and an accidental octagenarian outlaw who’s trying to avert a prophecy. (Okay, maybe the accidental outlaw _isn’t_ actually 80+, but she’s pretty old.) I would _love_ to see a movie made of it, but I don’t know if you could possibly do it justice. You’d have to leave out too many funny scenes and subplots. Maybe a miniseries would work. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2013, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050/20 "2013-04-07T07:35:46Z")
Some damned zombie western I watched on streaming Netflix probably 3 years back. Hm, let me check netflix for the title. Ha, [Undead or Alive](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Undead_or_Alive). Geronimo put a curse on white men so that when they die they come back as zombies, and this sort of odd couple of cowboys steals something [?] and goes on the run, meets up with a pretty indian woman and are chased all over by zombie cavalry and words finally escape me. Watch it, it is really fun for a get slightly drunk and eat wings and other pub grub sort of film marathon. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/westerns-with-the-strangest-plots/655050.md?page=2)