# We've all been asked to assemble in the training room for an important announcement **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324 "2008-03-30T23:02:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/1 "2008-03-30T23:02:29Z")
Perhaps we’re all getting a bonus 🙂 Or sacked :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/2 "2008-03-30T23:05:02Z")
Resume all dusted off? Laptop cleared of all non-work stuff? Have enough office supplies stocked up at home? Be sure to eat some chocolate after the announcement. It will make you feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/3 "2008-03-30T23:17:46Z")
I’ve been thrown out of far classier places than this! ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/4 "2008-03-30T23:30:31Z")
It was all rather dull really. Just an announcement from the head of our division that he’s retiring in June. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/5 "2008-03-30T23:38:27Z")
Somebody probably put coffee grounds down the sink again and caused it to clog up. At the companies I worked at in the past, layoffs were announced via being brought into the manager/V.P.'s office, via registered mail (“We’ll send your personal effects after we’ve had time to root through them,”), or once by e-mail. The latter was fun because then you could play the prank of registering an e-mail address from a domain that was almost identical to that of the employer (say, [BigCheese@Widges.com](mailto:BigCheese@Widges.com) rather than [BigCheese@Widgets.com](mailto:BigCheese@Widgets.com)) and then freak out select employees with bogus firing notices. Cruel and sophomoric, but when you know that your entire company is going to go fuzzy-side up inside of three months the gallows humor is the only thing that makes the work bearable. Plus, it’s a great way to get back at those marketing pricks who’ve been making your life hell for the last year and a half by promising things that couldn’t possibly work outside of a Merrie Melodies cartoon. I mean, not that I’ve ever done that. Not so far as anyone can prove. Thank you, I will take the Fifth Amendment; how nice of you to offer. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/6 "2008-03-30T23:57:30Z")
It wasn’t me that peed in the coffee!.. um, if inded the coffee was peed in. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/7 "2008-03-31T00:45:16Z")
At EDS, the only time we ever had to assemble the entire department for an announcement from management was when there was a major change in policy. Firings were strictly done in private with a mass email sent out afterwards saying that the terminated employee was, “…no longer allowed in the building.” ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/8 "2008-03-31T00:55:10Z")
Bah. My last “mandatory meeting” was a not-so-pleasant restructuring of our corporate footprint. [sub]I can’t believe I just said those words[/sub] My new job is better anyway. Pffffffffft. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/9 "2008-03-31T20:41:30Z")
[QUOTE=Cunctator] It was all rather dull really. Just an announcement from the head of our division that he’s retiring in June. [/QUOTE] Make him buy the chocolate, then. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/10 "2008-03-31T20:47:01Z")
[QUOTE=Cunctator] Just an announcement from the head of our division that he’s retiring in June. [/QUOTE] Last time I heard those words it was from Ward Cleaver. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/11 "2008-03-31T20:49:49Z")
Once when I worked in a government office, a memo went around instructing all employees to gather in the lunchroom at a certain time. When we arrived there, we were told “This is a fire drill. Please exit the building in an orderly fashion.” A few years later there was an actual fire, but the response was total chaos, since no memo had been sent around to announce the fire and summon us to the lunchroom. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/12 "2008-03-31T21:15:19Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Last time I heard those words it was from Ward Cleaver. [/QUOTE] And who is Ward Cleaver? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-all-been-asked-to-assemble-in-the-training-room-for-an-important-announcement/443324/13 "2008-03-31T21:41:07Z")
[QUOTE=Cunctator] And who is Ward Cleaver? [/QUOTE] The victim of a typical [**lieu** -pun](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ward_Cleaver).