# We've won the fight against ignorance. Now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 9, 2007, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773 "2007-11-09T13:42:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/21 "2007-11-09T21:25:48Z")
**November, 2007** : The Straight Dope vanquishes ignorance. **March, 2008** : In one of the millions of posts congratulating ourselves for this achievement, a member makes the mistake of referring to the triumph as “the extinction of ignorance.” Here and there across the globe, synapses sputter and spark, sending a message to their forebrains: “_hey! extinction is **bad** , right_?” **June, 2008** : The view, a minority one at first, that the extinction of _anything_ is a loss and deserves mourning is advanced. Sometimes eloquently, sometimes with clumsy glurge, it is suggested that even ignorance was part of the rich tapestry of existence. The unravellers feel unsettled, even as they claim that ignorance is not a point of view or a cultural feature, but rather the antithesis of those things. Then somebody writes a poem. **July, 2008** : It is accepted wisdom to wish for a small amount of ignorance to be found and preserved, under carefully controlled conditions, to serve as instruction and warning. Also, we’re still running out of oil and the globe is getting even warmer, and with careful study, maybe we can find out _why_ ignorance never worried about those and other problems. I mean, the stated reasons were idiotic, so there _had_ to be something else, right? Meanwhile, on the SDMB, posters can and do claim ignorance was “the victim of genocide,” and live to post again. **August, 2008** : An SDMB post, 34,107,698 words long, lists all of the groups, institutions, nations, cultures, beliefs and individuals that have at one time or another been called “ignorant” or one of its synonyms (the post consists, basically, of quoting an excerpt of everything ever posted on the board), and asking if we are prepared to exterminate all of _them_, too. Resistance to the “ignorance has a right to exist” meme collapses. Meanwhile, rumors surface telling of a shadowy plan to reanimate AM radio personalities. When it is pointed out that most of them are not, in fact, dead, the plan continues as before. **September, 2008** : Scientists claim to have created a small amount of ignorance in a lab in Provo, Utah, but of a containment failure are unable to say how they did it. **October, 2008** : The government reveals that it has been monitoring and “protecting” unvanquished pockets of ignorance in various places around the globe for years. The public outcry leads a president to resign, but not before attempting to spike the presidential election by withdrawing the prophylactic safeguards between ignorance and the world at large. **November, 2008** : One year after its extinction, ignorance returns in full flower to the SDMB. To universal acclaim. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/22 "2007-11-09T21:47:24Z")
That was fantastic. I want to make an lolcat version of your post just to make it illegitimate it and bring forth ignorance once again. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/23 "2007-11-11T00:03:57Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] Then I claim the hummock. [/QUOTE] No, **I** claim the hummock. You can have the ham hocks. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/24 "2007-11-11T00:09:37Z")
> [@](#): > > What do we do now? Total World Domination. Dr. Evil, Destro & the Baroness are waiting in the car, with the motor running. Move your kiesters! We haven’t got all day! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/25 "2007-11-11T00:53:00Z")
[QUOTE=rowrrbazzle] No, **I** claim the hummock. You can have the ham hocks. [/QUOTE] Too late. I’ve already taken the high ground. You can have the ham hocks. And the hummus. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/26 "2007-11-11T01:40:51Z")
Aw, f\*ck! I wanted the hummus, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/27 "2007-11-11T01:44:23Z")
Well I just meant that I wasn’t going to claim it. I had a lot over the past few weeks and don’t need any more. I suppose you can claim it if **rowrrbazzle** doesn’t beat you to it. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/28 "2007-11-11T01:50:39Z")
I’ve changed my mind. Screw hummus, I call dibs on the hossenfeffer. ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/29 "2007-11-11T14:11:27Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] > **[Gnomes (South Park)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underpants_Gnomes)** > > "Gnomes" is the seventeenth and penultimate episode of the second season of the American animated television series South Park. The 30th episode of the series overall, it originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on December 16, 1998. The episode was written by series co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, along with Pam Brady, and directed by Parker. This episode marks the first appearance of Tweek Tweak and his parents. In the episode, Harbucks plans to enter the South Park cof... [/QUOTE] You calling me a Gnome **Johnny**? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/30 "2007-11-11T15:29:04Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] Too late. I’ve already taken the high ground. You can have the ham hocks. And the hummus. [/QUOTE] Keep yer ham hocks and yer hummus outta my hammock. I don’t want your hamals, your hamadryads or your hametugs, either. Wait…the hamal might come in handy(especially if he’s cute). Send the hamal back! You keep the hamsters. And since I’m in the hammock (on the hummock), could the hamal please get me a hamburger and a Hamm’s beer? Hvala! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/31 "2007-11-11T18:39:14Z")
Eat pie? …you know…just a thought… ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/32 "2007-11-11T18:54:05Z")
ummm…wouldn’t we all deserve to receive a little something for our efforts? --ya know, like , maybe $14.94 ??? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/33 "2007-11-11T19:10:45Z")
**January 2009** Ignorance is introduced once more into the wild. **March 2009** A pair of wild ignoramuses are seen building a hive in Chicago **May 2009** Conservationists around the world are excited at the reports that the wild ignoramuses in Chicago have given birth to 2 young, they are named Cecil and Adams. **June 2009** A former SDMB member named **chowder** is found strangled in his bed. Police suspect a Mr C. Adams of no fixed abode. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/34 "2007-11-11T19:30:13Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Wow, what an ignorant question. 😉 [/QUOTE] Now you did it. Everybody back to his stations. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/35 "2007-11-11T20:00:27Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] [QUOTE=eleanorigby] But if it really IS true–I claim the hammock. [/QUOTE] Then I claim the hummock. [/QUOTE] And I claim the hassock. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/36 "2007-11-11T21:10:13Z")
[QUOTE=Dewey Finn] And I claim the hassock. [/QUOTE] And **I** claim the Haddock. \ 😃😃😃😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/37 "2007-11-11T21:27:14Z")
Curses. Foiled again. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/38 "2007-11-11T22:07:13Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] And **I** claim the Haddock. \ 😃😃😃😃😃😃 [/QUOTE] I crush your ignorance with my Hummer. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2007, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/39 "2007-11-12T02:07:46Z")
I tootle with derision at your Hummer as I buzz by in my [Humber](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humber_%28car%29). ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773/40 "2007-11-12T14:55:40Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Martinis all around! Vodka or gin, guys? [/QUOTE] Yes, please. How to make Winston’s _Perfect_ Martini. Chill your glass (you damned barbarian) Ice in shaker Dry Vermouth in shaker with ice Shake vigorously Strain vermouth out of shaker Add Vodka (or Gin) Shake vigorously Add three olives to chilled glass (transfer olives _quickly_ from brine to glass) One more quick shake Pour your perfect Martini … Repeat [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/weve-won-the-fight-against-ignorance-now-what/425773.md?page=3)