Obviously it’s the monarch’s prerogative to obtain fresh seafood in any manner he sees fit. This may, however, have been a factor in the schism with Rome.
Lobsters ain’t kosher, sarge.
Right. Imagine the difficulty of doing witch trials if the witches got a hold of the weights.
The widely-used “duck” benchmark would have be quite useless.
Why a duck?
Look, suppose you come to a river and you want to ford it.
From the Sermon On The Mount (Matthew 5-7), supplementary pdf:
Jesus: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. Tell me, what do you do with witches?
The People: Burn them!
Jesus: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
The People: More witches!
Jesus: [pauses]
The People: Wood!
Jesus: So why do witches burn?
The People: 'Cause they’re made of wood?
Jesus: Good! How do we tell if she is made of wood?
The People: Build a bridge out of her.
Jesus: But can you not also make bridges out of stone?
The People: Oh, yeah.
Jesus: Does wood sink in water?
The People: No, it floats. Throw her into the pond!
Jesus: But what also floats in water?
The People: Bread. Apples. Very small rocks…
Jesus: [pauses]
[Unidentified voice, believed to be that of Jehovah]: A duck!
Jesus: Exactly. So, logically…
The People: …if she weighs the same as a duck she’s made of wood!
Jesus: And therefore?
The People: A witch!
(New International Version)
I think you are talking about Henry VIII here, the lucky guy with all the wives.
It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples, walking around their tank, you know, holding claws
Some historians believe that the “Santa Claus” (Saint Claws) figure derives from the eccentric 12th century pope Urban III, who canonized a lobster that refused to mate again for the remaining 7 years of its life after its partner was killed by a poorly-ballasted diver. The story may be apocryphal, but some Roman Catholic historians claim that the traditional Santa Claus outfit derives from a red lobster costume worn by Urban III himself to social events.
Ah, the lobster cannon. As terrifying as it is deadly.
Wow! I’m 30 posts too late, but golly The Whoosh is strong in that one. @kenobi_65 would be so proud.
Well we recently had the [man swallows cockroach(es) story] that ended even worse. And last I saw, cockroaches are much smaller than whales.
Humpbacks probably spit out human flotsam and jetsam several times a day. Their principal diet is krill, less than an inch long, and they would choke on anything larger. They also have no chewing or biting mechanism.
the world is your lobster - YouTube
from Minder
And yet, the Lord is merciful, for when divers get the bends, or other ailments related to deep-sea diving, he cures them. I cite Matthew 4:24:
And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, those which were possessed with decompression sickness, those that suffered nitrogen narcosis, and yea, verily, even those afflicted by high-pressure neurological syndrome and barotrauma, and he healed them all.
Did @Voyager really get both a Marx Brothers and a Firesign Theatre reference in ?
Well, raise my rent …
Whatever we’re all paying here, it ain’t enough.
If only we could find someone with deep pockets to join up and help fund things. I think that they call that a “rich guy.”
This would be funnier if he’d been a whaler instead of a lobsterman.